How do i stop him from doing it?!?

Question

If you read from my previous question, you'll know my dad's christian and my mum's muslim. I hate it how my dad is ALWAYS insulting muslims and islam. Out of the blue. And he's so racist about it sometimes. I don't support any of them on religion but i can see my dad's being so rude about it. Even if a certain topic has nothing to do religion he'll just start linking it to islam and start saying all that ****. I feel sorry for my mum. She's not exactly fond of christians but at least she isn't rude about it or insult it. It's so unfair sometimes. I feel like saying something but he's pretty hot tempered so yeah. He knows i dont have a thing for religions and he told me not to discriminate religions or those who has religions..etc.. and he said All religions, but there he is always insulting islam. and i mean ALWAYS.During the time when we were talking about religion, or to me, to my sis, and ESPECIALLY to my mother. Ergh, so what do i DOOOOOo.

I know. But they both didn't care about religions when they marry. till now at least. Islam hasn't done anything to him. He's only become a staunch christian recently and he started talking bad about islam and stuffs. What's scary is now the way i see it he seems to be suspicious of most muslims being terrorist(excluding my mum). He's starting to be suspicious of his once close friends who are muslims. Abit over dont you think? Besides, when he asked me why i didn't like religion and i said because throughout the whole millenia it has the highest rate of killing.he keeps telling me islam only but hello christians too?( the burning times..etc.. alot of people were killed or to be converted to islam before). the only good about christian is that they modernize themselves, muslims haven't really. But in my place they did. as in they're much more relaxed then the christians here.

My dad wouldn't hit us. But ah, god knows what he would do. I love him, but everytime he says stuffs like that i just get pissed off and walk away. No point arguing trust me, he'll just think his right. Sometimes i sorta indirectly show him that all religions are the same. Insult one, insult all. Especially christians and muslims because i know the history and stuff and even my dad and mum said they're similar. sheesh.

Problem lies with. Even if it has NOTHING to do with religion, he justs bring it up somehow. Christianity has as much violence as islam before, so i dont see what he's getting to. I told him that when he talked about islam being a violent religion and he just sorta kept quiet. If he was like a buddhist or something( a religion with no history of violence at all), and he talks about islam that way then it wouldn't be so. hypocritical. But in the first place, buddhists have never bad-mouth other religions.

Answer 1

Sometime when you're alone with him not discussing religion, tell him you want to talk to him about something that's bothering you and you'd like him to hear you out. Then have a private chat with him to explain how this bothers you and you're afraid he's going to hurt your mom's feelings. It sounds kinda corny, but the relationship-advice people say that when you talk to people about something you have a disagreement with, it's better to use "I" statements than "you" statements. Like instead of "You are always being rude about Islam and you've got to stop," you would say, "I'm not comfortable with the way you talk about Islam and I'm worried about mom's feelings." That's supposed to keep him from feeling as defensive. Hopefully if you talk to him alone, that will help too because he won't feel like he's being attacked in front of the whole family.

Answer 2

Deal in fact in the defense of Islam (on your mothers behalf) or any other religion. You should have a good understanding of Islam from your mother so you should know when your dad makes a statement if it can be justified by fact or is simply an opinion. If facts dispute it then use these to defend your mother. If facts support your fathers statements then listen to your father. Statements such as "most Islamics are terrorist" or "Islam demands the death of all non-believers" cannot be supported by fact and can easily be disputed. On the other hand statements such as "Islam limits the rights and freedoms of women" are pretty hard to argue. Pick the fights you can win and fight the good fight. Truth is your best ally.

Answer 3

Many people who dont have any arguments to convince others get raged. They often follow their own wishful thinking and argue with other people about their fath.
For example.

Jesus said " Lord our God is one Lord"

How can he convince your mother about Trinity. Your mother believes in One and Only God. So the difference starts at very begining of the faith.

My suggestion to you is that you study both the religions in depth then talk to your parents.
Another thing is that your father might be suffering by Muslim-phobia. He should better consult a psychiatrist.

Answer 4

That's sad. He's obviously having issues. He shouldn't have married a muslim in the first place. But what's done it's done.
The best way to deal with this people is to give them a taste of their own medicine. And that's hard. Your mum is the one who should put a stop to it. Obviously she was good enough for him to marry, so he's got no bone with her. She shouldn't take any of his crap. He's doing that because she's not standing up for herself. You need to encourage your mum to step up and stand her ground. As for you, ask your dad when he's calmer, why would he want you to be a Christian, for example. To give you a good reason, and ask him, "What would Jesus do?" Someone should wake him up!!!

Answer 5

im not sure what to say. this seems to be a problem between your mother and father. if my parents did that, i would be yelling at my dad. maybe you should try insulting him so he can see how it feels. its a little mean, but hes got to see this from a different perspective. another thing you could do is research both religions and tell him about all of the points that they have in common.

Answer 6

Well, first of all, I doubt that your dad really is a Christian. He is being rude and disrespectful to his wife, and a Christian husband does not do that.

I think I answered one of your questions before -- and I advised you to not put yourself in the middle of this. Neither of your parents are perfect human beings, and there is bound to be some conflict between them (them!)

It's hard for you being right there in their home and not get involved, but for your own mental health and emotional well being, I really do urge you to let them live their lives as they live them, for good or bad, and not get in the middle of their mess.

Ultimately, you will have to choose your own path and religion, or lack of it, as well, if that is your choice. When you come of age and leave the house, your father can't tell you what to do anymore.

I pray for peace for you.

Answer 7

No faith deserves immunity from scrutiny and ridicule. No idea deserves immunity from it. And cowing to threats of violence in retaliation for said ridicule is weakness. We should -all- insult Islam, we should -all- insult Christianity, and Buddhism, and Shinto and Jainism. We should all insult it all until we all know the truth. Because only by having our ideas challenged do we escape from belief in nonsense. Only when it is brought to our attention that this could be wrong do we look for an alternative solution.

Answer 8

Your father is abusing your mother. Start there. It is one thing to disagree with your spouse about matters of faith, but quite another to speak abusively about your spouse's faith all the time! This is a cowardly, passive-agressive form of mental and psychological abuse.

My husband and I do not agree on matters of faith and God, but my husband would NEVER insult my faith to my face or behind my back! He loves me and knows how much my faith means to me, even if he currently doesn't agree.

You might ask a school counselor (or another type of counselor if you can) to get you information about verbal abuse. This is NOT something you, your sister, and especially your mother should tolerate. Your father cannot honestly call himself a Christian while abusing his wife! God has commanded him to LOVE his wife, not abuse her!

BTW, don't YOU mistake this toxic behaviour for a "normal" husband/wife relationship. People who love each other show respect for one another.

Good luck.

Answer 9

read him Matthew 7:1-5 and 21-23

Answer 10

Men are like that. Both my parents were of the same faith, but if their relationship was a bit rocky, my Dad would insult the WAY she practiced her faith, which most of us kids would just find...well, looking back on it now, it was just plain ludicrous.

There were lots of good times too. Got to take the good with the bad. That's life.