I was just hoping that someone who has maybe been in a similar situation can help me out. My nine year old daughter and I fight constantly. I know, it is ridiculous, to fight with a nine year old, but the thing is she speaks to me as if we are equal and speaks down to me. Her father spent 5 years verbally assualting me on a daily basis, and when he began to get physical I left him. Evidently she blames me for this... I had a lightbulb moment one day about 2 years ago, when she was an inch from my face telling me that "you mean NOTHING to me, do you understand me?", yes, she was 7 at that time. Anyways it occurs to me that she speaks to me exactly like he did, she just doesn't swear. I try desperately to ignore her when she gets like this, but after 6 years (her mouth started at 3), I just crack sometimes and we end up in a screaming match. I know I am the adult in the situaion, but I cannot help but feel like I have spent enough of my life being spoken to like a jackass. Ideas?
2007-11-22 15:06:05 · 12 answers · asked by jasonsgirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Her paternal grandmother was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I believe her father has it, and worry that she does also. I have been to our family doctor, a specialist pediatrician and two different therapists (both alone and with eachother),, nothing seems to work and people look at me like I am crazy to say I think my 9 year old is bipolar. I just get so fed up/sad/angry/depressed that no one will help. I also had a school counseller and notified the school of my concerns. On a side note, when she is not mouthy, I couldn't ask for a better kid, she is not like this constantly but when she is she has got a bite as big as her bark....
2007-11-22 15:41:22 · update #1
You need to get her into some therapy. I hope you went to court and he is not allowed to have unsupervised visits with her. You BOTH need to talk to counselors about this.
Since you tried counselors how about a psychiatrist? They are a medical doctor and they may have more insight into what is going on with her. Also, look into changing her diet. Children with behavioral problems are usually helped by using the Feingold diet. It is cutting out gluten and dairy. Maybe check at a health food store to see if you can find a cheaper or free version of the diet because it cost $69 to sign up on line for the diet.
2007-11-22 15:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in favor of spanking or hitting but OMG in this case my mother would have wooped my A** and it worked! I never said bad words but I got out of line from time to time and sadly it works! Maybe thats why theres so much more respect from adults that went through that era.
Otherwise, she needs to learn respect, and there are classes for it but she is kinda young. I went to one called "Adventures In Attitudes" it did a world of good for me, didn't seem like it at the time, but it did.
She may need anger management class already, ask her physician, he can help a lot.
I can only think it is because of your husband because I have never seen a young child be so disrespectful EVER~ but you can't allow it.
2007-11-23 03:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go "old school" and slap her mouth the moment she starts. she'll learn quickly enough that she is NOT in a position to speak to you like that.I know it sounds harsh but it's not abuse unless you make a habit of doing that sort of thing. If more parents asserted themselves and acted decisively (as opposed to taking the limp-wristed therapy approach) I'll bet that kids in general wouldn't even think of getting out of control.
2007-11-22 17:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by rumblecookie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe she took the fathers habit so everything she learned was from your husband screaming and getting physical with u she believes thats a good thing shes doing u should probably sit and talk to her about what does she remember when your husband was doing to you both you and your daughter should spend time with each other and try to talk to her about her habit tell her that what she is doing is wrong and what might happen if she uses that habit in school or somewhere else
2007-11-22 15:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling... My daughter is disrespectful to me today because I let her get away with too much when she was young. I should have gotten help sooner. She is now 42 and we don't speak because she thinks I'm an idiot and she yells at me every chance she gets. Catch it now or else.
2007-11-22 15:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by Wet Doggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling for both of you and self-esteem classes for you. When someone beats you up verbally I believe it leaves a deep psychological wound.
2007-11-22 17:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by doricescottage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Puberty
2007-11-23 10:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell her that you will not tolerate her talking to you like that. When she starts, smack her moderately hard and send her to her room. You could also go on about all you've done for her, and that she should be thankful for you. She has no right to talk to you like that.
2007-11-23 01:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by calamari kid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek therapy to get help for this situation.She needs to know that she cannot talk to you that way,but she got this from hearing her dad do it to you.
2007-11-22 15:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by snowlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try family therapy. maybe she has feelings she can't articulate, or doesn't understand. a neutral setting may help.
2007-11-22 15:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by chell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋