My daughter is in Kindergarten and has 2 "friends" that make her cry.?

Question

She made friends with these 2 girls very fast and they all played together at recess all the time. The one girl started to be mean to her out of no where and now the other one will team up against her. One day they are all friends and then the next day they both turn on her. She was crying about it and told me that they hurt her feelings. What is the best way to tell her to deal with the situation?

Answer 1

The only thing you can do is to TEACH your daughter how to face this kind of "problems".
My daughter is in Kindergarten also, and is the same with her and her "friends"
I tell her all the time not to cry, just to find another friend to play with. Then not to listen this girls, because they are children, and one day they are best friends and the other they are "enemies"...is how kids are.
Now it is time for her to start learning about life, how to face problems, not to run away.
I talk with my daughter every day about her friends (more than the school stuff and homeworks!), and I keep telling her too not to copy the other girls because she is unique. (not to copy the way the one girl color or use crayons, or the other one dress...etc)

I hope I helped you.

Be patient...they are children.


:)

Answer 2

After reading some of these responses I think many of you have forgotten what it was like to be that age. It is common to make even a "best friend" in an afternoon. Childhood friendships can be made and broken daily. It isn't until much later we start to form more permanent bonds with our peers. So I don't think I would be concerned about the speed behind how she developed this friendship.
Next, kids do tease and fight pretty quickly as well. I remember my friend Ricky as a child of about 6. We were best friends one day, got into a fist fight the next day...complete with tears, and then we were best friends again the following day.

You want some real advice BigMamma? Just let it be. If you get involved and get these other girls in trouble by telling a teacher or something, you will probably make a simple situation that would pass in a day or two much worse. I would bet that if you just leave it alone, your daughter and the other girls will be friends again in no time...and then they will fight...and then they will be friends. It is a normal developmental process to test relationships at this age.

Now, on the other hand, if this "being mean" becomes a persistent pattern that last for several weeks or if "being mean" turns into bullying (bullying would be like the example the person above gave...hitting, stealing money, etc), then you should get involved and talk to the school about it.

Answer 3

My five year old daughter is also crying in kindergarten. Yesterday, I dropped her off and she didn't cry (a first, she usually cries for the first five minutes and then is fine the rest of the day), but I got a call from a parent friend who did lunch duty last night who told me that at lunchtime, my daughter was crying. Last year, in pre-k, she did this crying when I dropped her off and periodically during some days until January! I am just not sure how to handle this, now that it is another school year! She is bright, adorable, and well-liked by teachers and other kids. But she is a crier. I think it is harder on me sometimes. I spend the day at work looking at the time and her picture with a pit in my stomach. What to do?!?!?!

Answer 4

If you think its bad now, wait until the middle school years. I'm so sorry that she has to go through this. Its tough when you're all in the same class together. The best thing you can tell her is that real friends don't treat each other this way. She needs to start playing with other kids. If it continues, this could be construed as a type of bullying and you should contact her teacher. Perhaps the two of you could work out a solution that your little girl could improvise.

Answer 5

I have a daughter in Kindergarten and she is having the same problem with one other girl. This girl was hitting her, stealing her lunch, etc. When it first started I sat my daughter down and explained to her that at lunch she shouldn't sit by this child and that she should avoid her if the child was mean to her. I also told my daughter that while she should be nice to everyone, that doesn't mean she has to be everybody's friend. After talking to her I contacted her teacher. Her teacher expressed to me that she was having problems with that same student and how she was treating everyone. She had also already discussed it with the other child's parents so we all worked together to solve the problem.

She did say that she was very proud of my daughter because she overheard my daughter telling this child that she would like to be her friend and play with her but that she wouldn't until the other girl started treating her nicely.

I think its very important that kids know that they should treat everyone with respect and kindness, but that they don't have to be friends with those that don't treat them the same way.

Answer 6

Depends on what they are doing to be mean. Maybe they hang out together after school and like to be mean to others. I would tell her to completely ignore them and find some other people to play with. If it was something super nasty to be really mean that needs to be reported to the school. So that they can teach the kids better. Also a lot of schools are implementing treat others how you want to be treated. So that might be a lesson to teach her too. Also talk to the teacher see if it can be put in the classroom. Maybe have a lesson put in there schedule to teach every one about tolerance.

Answer 7

Welcome to the world of mean girls. Research shows that it starts as young as 3. Ask her if there is another girl or boy in the class she might like, and arrange a play date. Try not to get too involved though, next week she and one of the girls may be ganging up on the others. Talk to her about just walking away. maybe it is time for the teacher to do a little work on kindness.

Answer 8

Tell her that some girls just do that. There is really nothing you can do except tell the teacher. This happened to me when I was her age. And older 2. Tell her it will be ok and if they are being mean again, tell her not to hang out with them until things get better. Say that if they are her "friends" then they wouldn't do that. But also, she is young, so she doesn't really understand what all this means. It's best to just tell her things will be ok..

Answer 9

try to explain to her that if those girls are going to be mean to her then they arent worth the time and tell her to go off and find some other girls to play with at recess. hope everything works out

Answer 10

Tell her that they are just being silly. Tell her that if she ignores them and starts playing with someone else, they will not bother her, or she can tell them that if they continue to be mean to her, she will not play with them anymore.

You can not protect her now, because things will get much worse in middle school and high school. She needs to learn how to deal with these sort of things.