social services!!?

Question

im 39 weeks pregnant and my brother has got social services involved with r family because he is suscidal and the social services has me and my baby down as people at risk but i dont want them involved in me or my babys life at all and there calling a meting which will have my midwife and consultant and gp involved pluse 2 police men can i just tell them i dont want them involved with us at all im scared they will take my baby away all because my brother is suscidle im really scared incase they take mi little boy away from me when he is born please give me some advice thanks very much...

Answer 1

It's sounds like they have you labeled 'at risk' because of your brother and not necessarily because of anything you have done. The fastest way to show them you are capable of protecting yourself and your child is to find a more stable and safe home for yourself. The only way they'll take your baby from you is if they feel the home is too dangerous and you are not willing to seek safer shelter for you and your child. If you try forcing them out of the picture they would see that as suspicious and probably dig deeper and get even more involved. If you have no place else to go then you are stuck with them being involved.

Answer 2

No. You generally can't tell them to get out of your life. Its like the police, the more of a pain in the *** you are, the more likely you are to be arrested.

Stop believing all the horror stories you've heard. Those with good interactions have no reason to share their business with the whole neighbor. I've worked for Child Protective Services for over 5 years.

First, everything depends on what state you live in. Some states, like North Carolina, now use a two-prong system when families first get involved (ie have a report made on them). The choices are investigation and assessment. Investigation are few and far between, limited to severe sex abuse, severe physical abuse, immediate risk of death to the children. You are describing an assessment -- the agency just wants to gather info and offer community services.

If you are a pain in the *** -- unwilling to talk, unwilling to listen, verbally abusive, failure to show -- you might as well gift wrap your child and hand him over. Be polite. Be courteous. They are just trying to gather info and maybe offer you help.

In general, the only way they justify taking your baby would be if your brother lives in the same home as you and has threatened or attempted to kill you and your baby along with himself. If that is the case, you must demonstrate (prove it, not just claim it) that you have taken good steps toward protecting yourself and your baby. For example, you must provide medical records that you are seeing a licensed midwife (not just some 'loon from down the block), have had normal prenatal testing, take care of yourself and such. They will probably try to hook you up with a medical followup provider for the baby once the baby is born. (In NC, for example, the health dept calls and reminds you about immunizations, well baby checks, etc.) Be agreeable if at all possible. These agencies don't work for DSS, and they can actually provide a good reference for you if things get hairy. You can always drop out once DSS closes their case.

They may ask that you prove you have some where to go / and/or stay once the baby comes. They might want to see you get your own place (they should be able to help achieve this) or just provide a list of responsible friends and families that can offer shelter when your brother makes your place unsafe/unstable. Pretty unlikely they'll require this though. It'll be a suggestion.

Whatever you do, keep a copy of every single piece of paper you sign. If you sign a safety plan (which you should have done already) get an exact duplicate. If they do decide to take your baby, they'll produce this in court and say you didn't do what you were supposed to. READ everything, ask for explanations and take notes. At the meeting, require them to list very clearly what is required of you and what is suggested. Do it all anyway to show good faith.

Trust me when I say, they don't want your baby. Be decent and it makes them think you are a decent parent. Threaten them and they assume you'll threaten the kid.

If worse comes to worse, provide them with a list of responsible, appropriate blood relatives you would like the child to stay with if he abosolutely cannot stay with you. Remember, this means the child's blood relatives, not just yours. Maybe the daddy (like him or not) has someone DSS would approve to avoid foster care. SERIOUSLY doubt this would happen based solely on what you said.

Relax, breathe, smile. Demonstrate (provide evidence, not just talk) how you will keep your baby safe. Listen. Breathe again. Ask question. Politely explain when they make the wrong assumptions. You'll be fine.

Answer 3

i know first hand what its like to be scared of social services. i have four children and because i have mental health problems and my husband is in a electric wheelchair, they are involved in my family. we dont want them, involved either has we have always managed upto now on our own[my eldest is 15].they keep having meetings too, but you cant stop them, they will just have them behind your back and tell you about the outcome afterwards. we have had plenty done about us, even had to have parenting assessments done, which we passed with flying colours. all you can do is show them what a good mom you can be and how well you are looking after your child.they cant legally take your child away from you without a very good reason they have been involved in my family for 3 years and they havent taken one of mine off me, so please dont worry too much, think of that lovely baby growing inside you, and it doesnt need any more stress. good luck for the future.

Answer 4

If you can, move out of your parents' house and go live with relatives. I don't think the authorities are after you in the way you think. I think they are afraid that you and/or your baby might be in danger because your brother is suicidal, and they fear he might hurt you or your child. Also, since your brother is so depressed, the authorities may be afraid that you are depressed, and they want to help you. No one can or will take your baby away from you. They do want to help, and they don't realize that you are frightened and want to be left alone. You aren't obligated to speak to anyone about anything, so you can say no to a meeting with Social Services. They don't have the authority to force you to do anything.

Answer 5

Look into your legal rights honey I know for a fact first hand they can not involve you due to first hand experiences with them, my family had social workers involved with them and my sister was suicidal, they then tried involving myself and my 2 daughters.
I rang them up and frankly told them my sisters issues had nothing to do with us and if they insisted on trying to interrogate us I would sue them as my daughters were only 3 and 4 and it could mess their little heads up involving them in something they couldn't understand?
Guess what I heard nothing off them after that, they need to help your brother and people that need help not prey on innocent bystanders good luck, don't attend the meeting they can't force you and seek legal help if they harrass you good luck don't stress think off the baby :)

Answer 6

you must go to the meeting, with a solicitor or some other representation (maybe someone from citizens advice or something). social services are there to protect you and your baby so, if you are both at risk, it's down to them to help you move to a safer place. they have a duty of care to you both, so make sure they do care for you. they shouldn't take your baby but if they fail to help you kick up a huge stink. good luck. diane.

Answer 7

I am not too curtian why they believe that you caused him to feel suicidal.

If they just think that your interfering wrong, then I cannot see why they would see you as a risk to your son.

You should seek an independent advocacy service, they can people used for people will mental illness.
Have a look online or on Google for one.

CREED

Answer 8

I don't think they can take your unborn child away from you since it is your brother in trouble. If you leave with him they will either make you move or remove him from the home. If you have done nothing wrong then you will not be punished

Answer 9

if youre old enough and finacially able to get youre own place i would do that because they are gonna be scared for the baby being around youre brother ! so tell them that you are gonna get youre own place and youre baby wont be in the same house as youre brother i know you love youre brother but you have to think about you and the baby good luck

Answer 10

You may love your brother,but it's him that you should stay away from. He is the danger to your family,try and get him some help before it's too late.