My mom passed a year ago and there has been bad blood between my sister and my brother ever since (they have never been the best of friends, but at least they both made an attempt). My sister is angry at everything, even God (she has been thru her share of personal crises). At Thanksgiving my sister wouldn't come inside because she saw my brother's car in the driveway. He makes an attempt, but she remains quiet and acts like the victim she always claims she is. My sister and I have a good relationship and she always states that I am all she has. It is time for her to get over things and I want to talk to her but when I do, she always calls me "sanctimonious". I don't want to come across as such, but do believe that she needs to grow up. Hostility and holding grudges only kills you. Please give guidance on how I can talk to her in Godly love.
2007-11-22 10:04:38 · 10 answers · asked by blonde4 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't think she is lacking knowledge. So it's probably not wise to talk to her about God at all. Show her about God by your patience and love, not words.
. No 'witnessing', no preaching.
No one can make her quit being angry.
All you can do is wait it out.
Sometimes there comes a point where we have grown away from friends, and they slip away.
But we have to be more patient with relatives. That makes relatives both more irritating, and more precious.
2007-11-22 10:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by pansyblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason, your sister and brother have some issues that go way back, and there is a deep root of bitterness there. Your brother is trying to reach out to her and you're trying, but to no avail. While I can understand that she's been through some personal crises in her life, that does not give her the right to treat her remaining family members with such disrespect. The best thing you can do is pray for your family, that the Lord will intervene. Pray for wisdom and spiritual guidance for yourself. The Lord may use you as a moderator of sorts between your brother and sister, and if He does, He will give you the words to say. God bless you!!!
2007-11-22 10:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to family only love will conquer the problems, its sounds like your sister has more problems than she can deal with, maybe you and your brother can try helping her out with her other problems first and just leave the family issues alone for the time being, maybe by seeing her brother try to help her with out anything to gain will touch her inside and change things. Good luck!!
2007-11-22 13:15:31 · answer #3 · answered by victor 7707 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you study on the words found in the book of Mark chapter 7 verses 14 through 23. It is not the things outside of us that cause us to act the way we do but the things inside of us. It is not what people say or do but how we accept what they say or do, we can not change others but we can change ourselves, so let us accept everything in love, as we are loved by Jesus.
2007-11-22 10:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Getsaved 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to find out why she isn't going to let go of the pain. Is it because your brother has continued to emotionally/ physically harm her even after many attempts? If this is the case, even if it is in her mind.... you shouldn't try to push her to let go.'
We had this problem in my family. My sister was very cruel but she did it with a smile on her face. I always looked like the bad one. She would walk up to me at a family function and say things like "if you raise your hand near your child and they flinch... then you are abusing them." with a smile on her face... implying that because my daughter may flinch because she knows she has done wrong, that I automatically abuse her. No one else would hear but I looked like the bad guy because I would get upset.
She has never been able to accept me for who I am. I don't need someone like that in my life. Maybe she is doing it for her own protection. When I walked away from my sister, I didn't do it out of hostility. I did it because I needed to protect my family and myself from her verbal outbursts.
At 1 year old, she picked up my daughter and said "your mommy doesn't love you, but that's ok because your auntie does"..... what sort of sick person says that? No one else heard it, So I was the bad guy for getting mad.
Take the time to talk to her and figure out exactly what she is angry about. Is she angry? What is making her feel like the victim and what can you do to help her feel less like a victim. People who feel like the victim are many times also feeling alone... like no one can see their point of view. Try to understand her point of view before you go trying to fix the problem. Connect enough with her to really "get' where she is coming from and accept her and her feelings.
2007-11-22 10:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last three sentences would be a great place to start. You don't need to QUOTE scripture in order to get its point across. Talk to her about the importance of love and forgiveness, and how it's in her own best interest to do so.You can see the problem, trust yourself to get the message to her in a way that she can understand.
God bless.
2007-11-22 10:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Religion and God won't be of help - because they never do help at all, except spread their preaching ...
It is difficult for families to get along, and pay respect to their family connection. I do not have a strong family connection, but still acknowledge it.
You can only acknowledge that we are all the 'same' no matter how different we may appear to be - we are all, still living a life here on this earth for a short time - and in trying to get along - we can... no matter how different our ideas and beliefs are, about living and life, etc etc.
If you want to resort to scripture - then seek out
'The Talmud Jmmanuel' material - it does contain wisdom and knowledge.
2007-11-22 10:27:05 · answer #7 · answered by TruthBox 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What it is , is a root of bitterness.I have learned by my own experience to not allow what others do to cause me to do ungodly things, and when I do this victory of what I've been praying for about them comes. Let go and let God, we are always trying to stick our hands in things that only God can handle, walk in love always, be blessed.
2007-11-22 10:29:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jesus Freak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue to love her, as it sounds like you do, and maybe your example will win her over. Actions often speak much louder than words.
2007-11-22 10:11:43 · answer #9 · answered by enamel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your Mother was the "glue" that held the family
I have the same problem
2007-11-22 10:09:16 · answer #10 · answered by Gyspy Soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋