i am 19 years old and way confused! am i ready for a baby?

Question

i think recently ive hit the point in my life where i desperately want to have a baby. im curently in school to become a doctor and have been in a relationship with the same guy for 4 years. no matter where i go, i see babies everywhere!! and i get so jealous! its crazy! as a teen, i never pictured myself as a good mom! now i want a baby?? am i crazy for feeling this way? ive talked to my boyfriend about marriage and such, and hes all for it. but he is 22 years old with a stable job, but maybe ready for more than i am? i dont know what to do with myself in this situation!?

Answer 1

sweetpea, wait awhile,. U may see babies everywhere, but finish school first, then have one if u want to. I have had 6, and i had my first when I was 19, and it was what I wanted, at first, but to hold this screamin sickly kid in my arms made me wanna scream!!! I loved him, but I was not ready. WHen u have a kid your whole life changes...forever. Once u are a mother, you will never be the same.

Answer 2

OK honey let's think this through.

You're 19. Do you own your own place or live away from your parents?

Do You have a good paying job that has full insurance and will allow you time off for maternity leave?

Are you financially stable to handle all bills (hospital, emergencies, diapers, formula, clothing)?

Will the man you have your child by be with you forever? Is he willing to marry you and be the support for the family?

If you can't answer yes to ALL of those questions then you don't need a baby just yet.

Remember once you have one when he/she starts crying, is sick or just being moody, you can not send it back. It's yours to deal with. You can't go out and party because you have a child. You can't splurge on new clothes or shoes for your self because the baby needs diapers. 1 package of diapers will only last a week sometimes less.

I had my daughter at 25 and still wasn't ready. She is now 11 and I'm still struggling financially.

So I'm going to give you the best advice I've every heard. If you really want a child, go adopt a puppy. Take care of it 24/7 for at least 2 years. Deal with the constant attention, house breaking and all of the feedings. If you can make it through that, see if your relationship lasts. If it does, get married, then have your baby.

Answer 3

I would say, as a grandfather, you are quite young yet that does not mean that you are unable to make an informed decision. Well you must know how you feel if you are on the road to becoming a doctor. You are in love are you not? If the answer is yes and your boy loves you then an informed decision should be readily available! You must be totally sure as having a baby is quite a big step in anyone's life. Sorry OLD AGE! You are far from crazy kid. I helped my wife with eight children and Truth to tell those years were the happiest in my life. Whatever you decide just make sure you both feel the same way! All the best Davy.

Answer 4

You'll be in school for about 8 years to become a doctor. If you have a baby now, it's going to take even longer. It will be much, much harder. You won't have enough time for both school and a baby, so one of the two is going to be shortchanged.

Frankly, your chances of becoming a doctor are much less if you have a baby now, because the strain of pre-med and medical school along with raising a child is very difficult to deal with.

The smart thing to do is to finish school and get a career going before having children. If you have children now, and for whatever reason your relationship doesn't work out, you'll be a single mom with no education and no career prospects, looking at a life of poverty. I know no one ever plans for that to happen, but look around and see how often things turn out that way. Look, you're not even married, and that's a hard enough thing to adjust to. It's way too early to be thinking about babies.

Answer 5

It is really good to hear when a girl is sensible enough to consider things like this before actually doing it and regretting it later. Having a baby is the best feeling in life, that you will ever feel, but it is also the hardest job. Raising a child is like raising village. If you're pursuing a career in medicine, you should know that you're gonna have to put that on hold, and after babies who knows if you're gonna be even able to do it.

It all depends on how your school is going at this point of time, and if you're sure you would be able to do that. Lookin at babies and getting jealous is a normal thing for a girl your age but it is not reason enough to get pregnant and just change your whole life forever.

I think you should wait...

Answer 6

That is a normal feeling, I am 18 and for the first 16 years of my life I absolutely hated being around little kids, but then It seemed like they were EVERYWHERE,, on tv, in magazines, in books, I began to think about anting one, but I do not want to have kids, so I got a puppy. It's just your maternal instincts kicking in, it is the time in your life when your body and hormones are saying "HELLLO!!?? What are we doing? Now our body is in PERFECT form for a baby" And in the olden days, that is exactly what people would do, start having babies. Just because your body wants you to have one, doesn't mean your life is. Get graduated, find a VERY good job, get a nice apartment or house and then if you STILL want a baby, talk it over with your doctor, It will kill your hormones and you will be feeling crazy, but trust me, I have lived through two waves of these hormones and still have my puppy, who I can nurture and coddle all I want without the nine month burden and the PAINFUL labor.

Answer 7

you have to decided what is important in your life. If becoming a doctor is your goal then I'd say finish school. If the most important thing is to be a mom then I'd say have a baby, but if you want both, then you have to prioritize. Is it more importanat to start a family first and finish school with a little baby running around, and having to pay for child care among many other additional costs, or is it better to finish school, fulfill that goal and then move on to staring a fimily once you have a stable income and your dream career.

Answer 8

Take a deep breath and think if you're financially ready.

A lot of very young women I know have/do feel like this, but babies take so much money! I've heard my Dad for years, "if I didn't have children I'd be rich."

Get through college, even if it's an AA and get married and see what happens. That's what I recommend, my parents weren't financially ready....we lived in a tent for a bit. (what a party). I don't judge them for it, we made due and I love those memories, but it was reasonably difficult AND as a kid you know you an never have friends over OR tell anybody.....but, if your man can support you and a babe..... have fun making the baby! ;-)

Answer 9

Well honey, my honest opinion is that you are in school, and a baby now would be too much for you, but the marriage thing is not a big deal, I got married at 19 also and have been to today, so if you want to get married do it. I don't think that a child at 19 when you are in school to be a doc is a good idea though. Wait a little more, I felt that way too, like I really wanted a baby, but I waited and it was the best thing I could have ever done. Good luck!

Would you pretty please be a honey bee and check this out?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar14UkpqPFTftodCkg1vTVvsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071122143329AAgXRuo

Answer 10

Your life is in a state of "flux" at the moment, the last thing you need is to bring a child into the world. Do you not find it telling that you never pictured yourself as "a good mom"? A good mom is one who is ready to sacrifice everything for her child, puts education, future, self, on the back-burner. are you prepared to do that? Or would you prefer to make the best of your opportunities and feel self-fullfilled? A child is not the "end of" but the beginning of. Why do you feel your partner is "more ready than you"? Never have a child because you feel it will strengthen a relationship, nothing is more guaranteed to stretch it to it's limit. Continue with your studies, buy a puppy, lavish your unmet needs on your future patients, but please do not have a baby! Nnnnineteen? You have all the world girl, you are number one!

Answer 11

just because you desperately want it doesn't mean you're ready for it. do you know how much money it costs just to have the many doctors' appointments when you're pregnant? do you know how much it costs to deliver and go into labor at a hospital? have you worked out how you want to have the baby(aka, naturally, with epidural, in a hospital, in a bathtub, in a birthing center), have you and your boyfriend talked about family values, how you want to raise the kid, your thoughts on discipline, religion, schooling, etc.

and i'm not gonna say "wait until you're financially stable," because that perfect time will never come unless you rub shoulders with Bill Gates. but i guarantee that if you have a baby right now, you won't be able to handle the stresses of med school AND a kid, and something will have to give. you're not ready. wait until after school. if you need to satisfy your need for a child, watch a friend's baby, or volunteer at a day care. if you don't have time for that, you don't have time for a kid.