Well, my family is asian and..my cousin is just a teenager and our aunts and other relatives have decided to set her up for an arranged marriage. She actually hasn't met the boy they have picked yet, but she's about to. I don't think she wants this, and I know I wouldn't either if I were in her shoes. I mean, my parents never set me for arranged marriage, but of course I'm kind of in a relationship with a long-known asian guy friend too. I just want what is best for my cousin, just as my relatives do. However, I want them to understand that we're in AMERICA now, not back home. I've told my dad about this, and he sees my point of view, and my mom just ignores me, or makes me do something else. I don't want ppl making fun of my cousin either like how ppl sometimes make ignorant comments about her at her middle school...How can I help her with the arranged marriage, or comfort her for the time-being? Is there anything I can do to help her? Should I discuss any of this to anymore family?
btw, my family's background is kind of strict and real traditional eastern...as you may tell...plus, i think my cousin needs some real boyfriends in her life, not a slave-driven wife who has a hard-working man who won't love her till later on in life, you see my point? her pre-marrial, *when she gets established*, will be from summer to harvest in autumn...
2007-11-22 09:39:59 · 2 answers · asked by Bo K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she won't be getting *fully-married*, however, until the age range of 18-25....and she's often told me many times that she doesn't want to go through this. Plus, I know that it would be seriously wrong to break an old culture's tradtion. Any help, please? Much appreciated, thx!
2007-11-22 09:41:41 · update #1
she might be moving to asia in her high school year, too, if that helps with answering...
2007-11-22 09:53:18 · update #2
she won't be living with the guy tho, until she's older.
2007-11-22 09:54:24 · update #3
she clearly has no say in this..*strict asian family*
2007-11-22 10:00:20 · update #4
Does her parents know that she dont want to have arrange marriage? If they know it and still having her arrange marriage then I dont think there is way to help her.
2007-11-26 06:34:17 · answer #1 · answered by preety 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her school and ask to see a person in authority. In England this would be the child protection officer - in the US there would be someone - start with her teacher. Tell them the situation. There are also UK organisations made up of Asian women who help girls escape safely and give them legal help. There may be some in the US. Try googling them. She should not try to run off on her own - it is not safe. If the guy she is set up with is an alien wanting to settle, then US Immigration would be interested - that's for sure. However, I can tell you that if you put yourself forward to help, she may well end up lying to Immigration and her teachers about the situation , under pressure from her parents. I have seen this happen. Then you will get the blame, which would be wrong, because your parents sound cool and sensible.
2007-11-22 17:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by Drudgesquad 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the details about your cultural heritage. But I would encourage your cousin to think of this as a "maybe." If possible, she should let her parents know that she respects them, but she can't promise to marry this man, when she's only in middle school!
2007-11-22 18:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋