Please help me :'(?

Question

The other day I came home from school to find that the door was locked, when my mum should of been in. I was worried because at the moment she's suffering from mental illness which can make her overly tired or stressed. I rang the home phone many times and her mobile, but there was no reply, I was with my Dad at the time but he had to go out places and said it would be difficult to take me. I walked home and hammered on the door. After 10 minutes my mum came down, opened the door and shouted at me for ages, then told me I was grounded for a week because I woke her. Do you think that's out of order? Or is she right? Help :'(

i just tried speaking to her. She said Its because im an untidy and rude. :( and then told me to f*** off :'( what do i do

Answer 1

omg how mean! i know your mum is not well but that's not your fault!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your mum...
Thing is, no shes not right for doing that however its important to realise that shes mentally ill and doesnt have alot of comtroll over her emotions and actions which is probably why she reacted the way she did...
Im 17 and have lived with my mum who suffers from mentall illness from the moment i was born! Its tough and i understand comepletely the frustration you must be feeling right now having being punished for no reason at all...
You do howvere need to speak to someone about this because you cant take it all on by yourself...you need someone to off load everything to...confide in a friend...trusted teacher or your GP...they will be really supportive!
Feel free to email me if you would like to talk...like i said my mum too is very ill so i understand some of the daily struggles...
Take care and stay strong!
Xox...

Answer 3

Hello SeaSide,you sound a very concerned and loving daughter.Your Mum presently isn't thinking clearly as we are.When in pain we sometimes hit out at those we are close to,unfortunately you are her target.This can be very worring for you.Maybe when your Mum feels a bit calmer you can explain you were worried and concerned for her.Your Mums punishment on you does seem irrational, hopefully when a calmer time comes she might see that she did over react as you were concerned for her.
SeaSide what you can try to do is protect your feelings from this hurt and if can say to yourself "My mum is not well at all"she also needs help.Can you speak to someone who will help you with this dreadful time you are going through?Don't face this on your own SeaSide.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time. Even if your mum has a mental illness is not nice to be put through that kind of abuse. From what you have said, it seems that your mum has many issues and she's taking them out on you by saying horrible things to you, even if she doesn't mean them.

My mum has had clinical depression since before I was born. When I was about your age i was going through something very similar to what you are going through... it seems like it's never going to end! She would shout and scream very horrible things at me, which I eventually realised she didn't mean, that she was only being like that because she was so unhappy within herself. We get on much better since I left home to go to university, which may have something to do with us distancing from each other, but also at about the same time she started receiving a lot better health and social services. Maybe talk to your dad about him finding our services for her like psychotherapy, ocuppational therapist and different activities (my mum does stuff like creative writing, sewing and a 'coping with stress' class which have helped immensely).

As a result now we are a lot closer, and she very rarely shouts (maybe once per year when she's very stressed, whereas before it used to be maybe once per day) something I thought would never happen! Now that things have changed so much it has made me appreciate what a horrible time she must have been going through as well. I used to feel so helpless and alone, recently my mum's social worker (which she had since she started receiving better services) told me that I should have had some form of counselling or professional emotional support when I was younger because it is a lot to have on your shoulders, so you might want to find out if you could receive some sort of counselling. Just try and remember that her outbursts have nothing to do with you, she's just doing it because of the way she feels inside so don't blame yourself for stuff she says.

Anyway, before I ramble on for any longer, I hope things get better, speak to your dad and if you can to your mum about them finding some support for you and you mum (and the rest of the family if necessary!)

Answer 5

I think your mom maybe needs some help. Go talk to your school councellor, or another trusted adult. Does your dad have an opinion on this? How could he have just "dumped" you like that?? Go find some help sweetie, that is no way for you to live

Answer 6

Well she is wrong. And maybe you shouldn't live there for awhile. Sounds like you need a vacation, just let things cool down. And then, see some how if she could get her self to a shrink.

Answer 7

my dad has a mental illness and it is hard to deal with it. You have to try ro frgive them and move on, but you have to learn to not listen to stuff like that. Yes your mom is wrong burt my guesse is that she isn't able to see that and you can't reason with her that's how my dad is anyway. You just have to really enjoy the good moments and deal with the bad. it's not easy but it's not her fault. Try not to get to mad at her.

Answer 8

That is out of order. Unfortunately people with mental illness are often rather irrational, so i doubt you will be able to reason with her now.

I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation, is there anyone you can talk to about it?

Answer 9

I am not going to judge either of you.

However, you are having to deal with a serious problem and you should not have to do this alone!

I suggest you call CHILDLINE and explain the issues. This is what the service was set up for.

0800 1111

Answer 10

Your mother is way out of line and is almost an unfit parent. Tell your Dad what happened. Your mother needs help.

Answer 11

I agree as a dad with mental illness, It is my life not my children.