Splitting the holidays ??

Question

So my problem is that now that i have a family i really want to stay home for the holidays. On christmas eve of 2005 my husband proposed to me infront of both familys here at my house than on christmas day we went over to his family and in 2006 me and my husband had thanksgiving here and went over to his family the day after thanksgiving {thats when they celebrate} and than on christmas eve of course my husband and i stayed home but on christmas day we went over to his family well this year my daughter is now 8 months old and we have thanksgiving here and we go to his sisters for the day after thanksgivng and this christmas the plans were to go over there to his sister but since i am lonely {mom and brother moved} i want to spend this christmas with my sister but his family wants to know why and i told his mother why and i think its only fair that if we are going to split the holidays that his siter can have thanksgiving and my sister can have christmas and switch off every year

And his sister's children are almost grown she has a 15 year old and a 19 year old and we have an 8 month old and my sister she has 3 boys the oldest is 6 and the youngest and my girl are only 14 months apart so i feel like our children can play..thats what i like about it. But i am tired of splitting up the holidays and i just want to stay home one of these years and not go anywhere. Has anyone got to that point where enough is enough lets just have the holidays here and invite family over or just dont have the family LOL it sounds selfish but everytime i want to do something with my family it sounds like his family has a problem with it and i think in alot of ways he is just tired of it but he wont say nothing how do i convince him to have the holidays to us and if they want to see us they can come over {his sister lives 3 miles and never comes over we always go over there really boring} {my sister lives 3 hours from us and has already came over 2 times since october} HELP !!!

Answer 1

You have to be firm in your decision to split the holidays. You don't have to go anywhere and you definitely have the right to have the holidays at your house. Don't be afraid to say that you want to see your family, because you love them as well..and I'm sure that your husband would understand that you want to see them...I mean..isn't it the same thing for him. Stick to your guns, your right in this situation.

Answer 2

Yes, absolutely, especially when my daughters came. Here's how I solved this problem. I have Thanksgiving and I have Christmas Day. When we could we went to my families Christmas Eve which can be anytime, but was usually on Christmas Eve. To travel to a big family party, while working full time and having twins and a husband who was a drunk and didn't do diddly for the holidays, I just physically could not do it. I don't think I slept Christmas Eve night for 20years. I never enjoyed Christmas Day because I was a zombie.

I had to endure my father telling me I was ruining my mothers christmas, more than once. But I stuck to my guns and I stayed at home with my family if the party was on Christmas eve until they got old enough that it wasn't that much of an issue. I was open about it, I told them why I wasn't coming and I refused to accept any responsibility for my mothers christmas, she's got 6 kids for petes sake.

On Thanksgiving and Christmas I cook, I have the party and I don't travel. Stick to your guns and do what's right for you and your family.

Answer 3

That sounds reasonable to me. My whole immediate family lives in the same state, as do the inlaws, and it is an ordeal to get everyone together for the holidays on the same day. We do it pretty much like you want to, seeing the closest relatives on one day, and the rest of them the next.