I have a friend who covers the same social circle as me. He keeps offering to drive me home but if I accept it will take much longer than public transport (Which is free for me on freedom pass) as he takes a long way round and visits other places on the way. If I get away from an event before he can offer a lift he says it is rude to leave without warning. If I try to refuse the lift offered he gets offended at that at well. What should I do so as not to upset him, I have known him over 20 years so do not want to lose a friend.
2007-11-22 01:04:39 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It sounds like he is not being a very good friend to you to put you in this position. A friend would be considerate of your feelings. Sounds like he has not even considered the hassle it is for you to accept a ride home from him (I am assuming you have told him why you don't want it)
I would remind him that you two have shared a good friendship over the years and explain once again the reasons why you are refusing the ride. Let him know that it is certainly not your intent to hurt his feelings or be rude, but you would like him to respect your feelings and either give you a ride straiht home OR be considerate of the fact that you would rather find other means.
2007-11-22 02:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by Indya M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that it is a nice offer but u prefer 2 go by public transport if he gets offended by this then as a friend he should be respecting your wishes and a true friend would not b offended by this. Reading your full question again he does seem 2 me to b a bit controlling or trying to control u which is not good, if it does upset him then it is his problem not yours
2007-11-22 09:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just let him know that it's quicker and more convenient for you to go home by public transport. Thank him anyway but say there's no need for him to offer any more.
Sounds a bit weird for him to get offended over something so trivial.
2007-11-22 09:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by carly s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Naw, I'm good, man," usually works.
But your friend isn't accepting of that. He is pushing you. HE is being rude. Not you.
It is very important to you friend to be the ride home guy. He likes having everyone in his car. He likes being the one leading the party. It makes him feel popular, liked, and in control.
Good on you for wanting to bypass his show and handle your own transportation.
Oh wow, the 'known him over 20 years' just sunk in... you guys aren't teenagers. That makes his behavior even more... sad? Odd? Weird?
Some people take offense, unless you do exactly what they want. These people are (usually) sad controllers. Decide beforehand to take the ride every once in a while, just to make him feel better. If he drinks AT ALL, you can play that card too.
2007-11-22 10:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by eine kleine nukedmusik 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just apologise and say you prefer to use public transport. It is probably safer to do so, you might be at risk from this person who may have ulterior motives for offering you a lift.
2007-11-22 09:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should politely decline with the explanation above! - explain that it is actually quicker for you using the public transport and that it's free and you really are fine. Thank them very much for their generous offer.
2007-11-22 10:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by *Sparki* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just thank him, and explain as you have on here that he goes out of your way, thus making you later getting home.Or, say someone else has offered you a lift.If he takes offence easily over that, well, he's not much of a friend is he.
2007-11-22 09:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by CMH 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This person is weird. Most people do not like giving lifts......he is just the opposite. Does he have any motives? Keep avoiding him, he might be dangerous. One not so fine day, he might drive you somewhere secluded and rape/murder you. Be very careful. It's odd for him to get offended. It's not a normal behavior.
2007-11-22 10:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him what you've told us. It's reasonable that you want to get home as soon as possible and not go on a guided tour of the place! It sounds like he's lonely and wants to keep you in the car so that you can have a chat.
2007-11-22 09:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, I appreciate the ride....but I'm fine. Thank you anyway.
If you really want the ride, ask him to take you right home as you need to; get to sleep, make tomorrow's lunch, do some homework, etc.
Keep it real, but keep it civil. That will hold the friendship.
2007-11-22 09:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋