Having been single for a few years - and liking it - i am now going out with someone from my work ( This is the 3rd work relationship i have had- not in the same workplace though each have been different jobs). The trouble is i dont know how to teel my dad. Each time i go out with someone he goes mental. my last relationship was for 2 and a half years. and everyday was a nightmare with my dad, he turned to drink and was very jealous of my boyfreind. He threatened to change locks if a went out at night and things like that.
I am an only child and my mum died when i was young so he is very protective over me. Evrytime i go out with my boyfriend i have to ly and say im going out with my mates. I hate lying and want to just tell him but nobody seems to understand what trouble its going to cause.
Im 28 and my boyfriend is 20. that alone will cause arrguments and that fact we work together will just add to it. Youd think he'd want to see me settled and happy. please help
2007-11-21 23:04:35 · 23 answers · asked by OASIS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell your dad you have started seeing someone and ask him if you can bring the bf round for dinner. once your dad gets to know him, im sure it will be easier.
im sure he is being protective and looking out for you, but it also sounds as if he is scared he will loose you. remind him that there will always be a place in your life for him.
2007-11-21 23:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 28!? And your dad is still acting like your a baby and you are not! I think you have to be firm here and simply tell him that you have met someone, you are happy and the more erratic his behaviour gets the further he is pushing you away. Explain that you will eventually meet someone and possibly get married and have children so he cannot throw his dummy out of his pram every time! You really should try and get somewhere to live on your own, he must realise how crazy he is being! This is childish and silly and he cannot protect you forever, he needs to realise that you are 28, not 16.
2007-11-22 07:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better to be honest with him... tell him that you're seeing someone, that you're happy and that although you understand his being worried about you, you will be careful and hope he can be happy for you! Tell him that he's your dad and as such will ALWAYS be important to you and that you are very grateful for everything he has done for you!
If you're 28 then your dad really has to expect you to be in relationships....I'm sure he's just worried about you getting hurt so you need to be honest and tell him that you'll be careful and will tell him if you have any concerns...
Perhaps you could work on getting your dad a hobby... it sounds as though he is obsessing about loosing you because he feels lonely. I don't know what his interests are, but he must have some so he needs to get out and meet people. Once he has his own relationships and friends to keep him busy he won't have time to obsess himself over your relationships.
Once he is getting out and doing things, you should really get an apartment of your own. I completely understand why you haven't before but you need to work on creating separate lives...
2007-11-22 07:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well sweetheart i really have to say i think first you should move out on your own i really don't think that i could deal with my mom or dad telling me what do do at 28 and i am only 25...also i have to say that you must like it or you would do something about it...also i don't think that you should be with a 20 year old guy try and find someone closer to your age...just a thought...i mean at 20 i didn't know what i wanted and really hadn't grown up...most of the time it takjes males a lot long to do that then females...some people may say i am wrong but i know it took two times in iraq having a kid and going throw alot more to get where i am today.....good luck and move out
2007-11-22 07:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by Seth G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are 28 years old and have officially been an adult for 10 years!!! i get that u are ur dad's only kid, but he will have to understand that u need to live ur own life, settle down if u want to and do ur own thing! why dont u move out? that would make u feel less under his control! its not fair on u or him, or indeed any of ur boyfriends!
2007-11-22 08:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by purplegal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, don't tell him SH*T. Do what you have to do to keep it on the DL (down low). First off you are 28. If you live with your dad its time for you to get out. Some weird stuff is going on inside your pops head. Your dad should want you out of the house, not keep you locked in it. You need to stop feeling that you have to share so much with you parents or parent. Just remember. You know how your dad thinks, so you know what you should be telling him.
2007-11-22 07:14:34 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel R 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to sit down with yuor dad and tell him that you will always be in his life but you need your own life too, he will have to get used to the fact that you want relationships and your dad shouldnt make you feel bad about having a little bit of fun, x
2007-11-22 07:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also a father of grown up daughter. Your problem is not because of him but because you really love him.
I feel you have every right to choose your friend(s) and if possible settle down. Your father's insecurities are his self imagined and not based on reality or facts.
You should, therefore, speak to him and hear him out before you suggest introducing your riend to him. Chances are he will agree to it on second request from a loving daughter.
2007-11-22 07:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by lalit saxena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww this is so sad :( i feel sorry for both of you, you need to sit him down and have a really big talk, reassure him say how much you love him, you are hes world at the moment, hes frightened he is going to lose you, reassure him that he never will.
(edit) some of you people are so cold, dont you realise that he lost hes wife and he fears losing hes only daughter now, the only reminder left of them two and what daughter they created out of love? hes so scared of losing her, why cant yous see that side instead of insulting her father!?!?!
2007-11-22 07:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
just tell your dad that if he wants to meet your bf then arrange it at a neutral place then talk it through with your dad if he still goes barmy ask him why he does this it might help the situation. if not then work it out from there
2007-11-22 07:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋