have you ever had a childhood friend you fell in love with? or does that just never work out? ever since i was 6, my mother took me to see this nice boy to play with. eventually i found that we were spending years together already and i got to know him like the back of my hand and i found that he's really great. not like any of the other immature guys out there, he was sweet and always talked to me if i was alone. i've always been told that in these types of situations, i should be his friend as much as i can. but ever since we turned 16, he's been going around dating other girls, getting dumped, and then he'd come to me for comfort. it hurts becasue when we talk, its like he's never even thought of me at all. i feel like i spent years pushing myself into the "friend zone" and i want to be in a place where he would want me as his girlfriend. i can't leave him becasue last i tried, he practically died and it hurt me more he wasn't he useual active self.
i've tried just not comforting him when he last got dumped, but i just dont get it, someone i had no idea liked him just walked up to him and did my thing of comforting him, and next thing i hear his his latest GF, am i doing it the wrong way or somthing. im so confused on why girls who just come up to him have better chances then me where i've had years with him.
we're 18 now btw
2007-11-21 21:18:38 · 9 answers · asked by Kay <3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe he thinks of you as a sister...
ask him and get it over with...
2007-11-21 21:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by XOXO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of explanations for this.
1.) maybe he likes you to some degree but he is also pushing himself to the friend zone, because based on my experiences with other people, a handful of people sometimes consider it an act of treachery to suddenly court your friend. So maybe he's restraining himself from courting you because for him it may be treasonous (i actually don't get why, but that's the way it is with others)
2.) you're not really his type
3.) perhaps he just doesn't see you yet. i mean sometimes things are hidden in plain sight. give him more time, and perhaps he'll appreciate you.
4.) he's afraid of losing you as a friend because he may be afraid that you might dump him
5.) as the cause of #4, maybe you don't really make him feel that you like him (i mean, maybe you do but it's not enough coz he might be a little bit of a rock who can't sense that you like him)
6.) as opposite to #3, maybe he does see you, but he knows you too much that he knows that you're not really the girl he's looking for (#6 is not the same as #2, as #6 is due to you being known too much by him)
7.) he is using the other gfs as a cover up for the one whom he really likes, and that person could very well be you. And why would he do that? possibly because of #5. Wants to make you jealous? (ever wondered why he always gets dumped? though these are purely speculations. forgive me for i don't really have perfect information here, and i bet this is not the case)
8.) maybe he has grown to accustomed and familiar to your role as comforter. Thus, it may not have entered his mind that you are a likely candidate. (but even i would not bet on this possibility. the minds of guys? Ha! I believe he would've thought of you being his gf more than once.)
9.) maybe you have bad timing. Maybe at times when he would already go for you, you suddenly disappear, or you don't show up too often. It can happen. Or maybe your bad timing has led him to think that you like someone else. (though i wouldn't know how that would happen, would you? this is also a bit connected to #5)
10.) maybe you are really just there to support him like a mother or a sister. Perhaps the love he feels for you is not the love of a bf to his gf but more of a family love.
Take a pick. But remember, those are not all the possibilities. I just gave 10 because it's a pretty round number.. :D
2007-11-21 21:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by nj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is constantly canceling dates on you, then the attraction is not high enough for her to want to date you. You still have a chance, but you've got to build the attraction up, by the way in order to do this you've got to quit being the nice guy. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk, but quit spending all your time and money on her and her friends, and don't text her as much. Also make sure your making some of the decisions in the relationship and not just letting her pick what you all do, where you go, etc. Try giving her some distance and make excuses not to see her sometimes, if she likes you at all romantically she will panic and try to go after you, if shes not then maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
2016-05-25 00:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is clueless he has no idea you feel this way about him. You can't say nothing in spite of all the people on here telling you to do so. You have to try a different approach, more like an on hands approach. Dress sexy, more touching, hugs, kisses, slow dances get the point? When you tell him what type of guy you want describe him. Oh yea ask him to give you a massage, believe me the way he use to look at you will change in a matter of seconds lol
2007-11-21 21:30:09 · answer #4 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its been 18 years, more than friends wont start now. its really likely for the girl to like the guy when they are friends, are visa versa. it worked for me, but im only 13. just know that as long as your in the friend zone, you wont be the one getting dumped, or the one dumping him.
ps. because youve had so much history - friendship history that is - is why he hasnt asked you out. and having a boyfriend - one of your friends filling that role - isnt always necessary. look for other fish in the sea ;)
2007-11-21 21:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by mcr_fanatic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very interesting question i think u should tell him that ur very sweet n nice n cool and get to know more about his interests and do some thing like this to atttract him towards u and i think this will be the perfect solution for ur question .......
and be with him most of ur free time but be with him when hes free too ...............
and best of luck
and i think u should say him that u love him
i think then ull get the answer
2007-11-21 21:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably has grown up seeing you as a sibling. You need to tell him that you are NOT his sister and that you always dreamt of him asking you out.
Just tell him that you also need a shoulder to rest your head on.
2007-11-21 21:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Protik Maitra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by comforting him that could mean a lot of things.
tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel about him.
you want to be not his friend, but his girlfriend. good luck.
2007-11-21 21:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt view you that way - better get yourself noticed and fast
2007-11-21 21:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋