Ever since I found this website my self-esteem has dropped dramatically. I used to be spunky, upbeat, kind, always wanting to make people happy. Now I find myself gloomy, depressed and unsatisfied. I need to become more confident, and more assure of myself. Which is hard since I'm a mixed black girl and everyone seems to hate us and find us ugly, loud, unattractive, living off of welfare. Now, as a teen black girl I don't feel pretty at all and no matter how many times people tell me I'm pretty I just can't believe it. I drive boys away because I'm so sad all the time... people on here basically say why bother whites, hawaiians, latinas, asians are sooo much better anyways. I just feel so inadequate I really like someone (who's white) but he probably would never like me. Why do I even exist? I do well in school and try my best to be successful but now I feel why do I even try? I don't mean to be dramatic it's just what this site has done to me.
2007-11-21 16:30:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been on the site before alot...I just hadn't made a profile.
2007-11-21 16:38:44 · update #1
like I said before I HAVE been here more than one day TODAY I just decided to make a profile...geez
2007-11-21 16:48:00 · update #2
how you feel about yourself is more important than how others feel about you. get back to who you really are. dont look at yourself as a mixed race person, look at yourself as a human being who is worthy of love. if you dont make an issue out of it, no one else will. and if anyone does, then they are the small minded people who have no self esteem and need to put other people down to make themselves feel good.
as to the color of peoples skin, to me it makes no difference. the only thing darker skin proves is that a person with darker skin has more melanin in their skin. thats all. your blood is still red, you still have a wonderful brain, and being female you still have a body that guys want to get next to.
so girl, hold your head up, be proud of your accomplishments thus far, and push yourself to be better than you are now. in the mean time be happy, and put on your real face. the more real you are, the better people will see you. i know that getting your confidence back is hard, but if you make the effort, it will come back. remember these two slogans
just do it
never let them see you sweat.
2007-11-21 16:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by richard b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to tell you something very "basic"; I won't be purposely insulting your intelligence if you already know this, but some of the things you've said have made me think there are some gaps in your awareness. Different cultures have similarities in characteristcs because they share many experiences in common; that kind of diversity adds to the beauty of life. Upon even closer inspection, though, you'll see that each of us are completely unique, beyond those nuances found in mere cultural indentifications. That means that no one is superior or inferior to you in anyway. Why do I say this? Because I got the impression from reading your story that you imagine yourself to be of lesser value because of your ethnicity. (I would be glad to have misinterpreted you.) That feeling alone makes anything you're trying to get less attainable because you'll always think in the back of your mind that you don't really deserve it. There isn't any group of people on the planet any better than you. Why do you even exist? You exist because God made you, and in the singularly unique fashion that you are right now. God doesn't make mistakes. Now, this has always been true, but until you know this for yourself, the power of that realization won't have any effect on you whatsoever. Obviously this insight won't come overnight, but I can think of no better day to begin trying...Thanksgiving Day. Start small....start by becoming aware of the things you tell yourself (all throughout the day). Why? Because that's your internal voice, and you listen to it constantly whether you know it or not. Once you recognize the "voice", you can learn to control the types of things you tell yourself. As your point of view changes, the way you're perceived will change (and you will no longer be driving boys away). It's a simple answer, but a challenging practice. But it's well worth the effort, because at the other end of this objective is everything you want. Good luck.
2007-11-21 17:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you have been here less than 24 hours.......? Quite a lot to happen over viewing a few opinions, backward and uninformed as they sure may be.
The world is full of jerks, idiots and fools. This site seems to attract a little more than it's share. If you allow that to practically ruin your life in only the space of a few hours, it was destined to happen anyway, like the first time you read the headlines of a newspaper.
Go to a section more upbeat, another category maybe, or, leave all together and put on some music. These people didn't appear when you got here and won't be leaving soon, but I do have to say that I've not witnessed all of this negativity that you seem to be.
You might also consider that it's not this site at all, being here less than a day, but just a mood, the holiday maybe and give it oh...say another hour or so.
Sending gentle thoughts...
2007-11-21 16:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
take these people on here with a spoonfull of hotsauce cause they will burn u just as much. There are people that want to help and those that are jerks. I dont think that people find mixed women as ugly and if they do they are jerks. Dont know what u look like but to me personality makes up alot of what attracts me to a woman. And school dont count for much when u are an adult u will see how stupid high school really was and most of the people that make fun of u will be cleaning your office when u are in charge of them. Good Luck
2007-11-21 17:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by Devil Doc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure it's this web site that has brought you down like this honey? It could be other things too... I think sitting around on line a lot is not very good for mental well-being. A body needs to get exercise and exercise produces endorphins which makes you feel good all over! The thing about this site is that you can give and get feedback, but you really shouldn't base your life on it, just let it be what it is.
Please take care of yourself and don't let silly people get you down. You are you for a lot of great reasons so just believe in yourself!
2007-11-21 16:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by nettles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let other people bring you down!! You know that you can be the spunky, fun girl you used to be. Hold your head up high - there will always be people waiting to see you fall. Prove everyone wrong by making the most out of your life and having fun with all of the positive people you have surrounding you. You're beautiful!
2007-11-21 16:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.
i dont know what to tell you
but how has this site done anything to you when your profile shows the only thing you have done is ask this one question?
but i would disagree with the premise that mixed/black people are unattractive and if you wanted some brunt honesty about your appearance you could post you pic on here (at your own risk of course)
but dont feel so bad
2007-11-21 16:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
look at all the positives. be a president. we need someone that can think for a change
2007-11-21 16:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by sunny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave the site?
2007-11-21 16:34:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
umm i belive i have found a fellow emo! try cutting that always sooths me!
2007-11-21 16:36:35 · answer #10 · answered by Brandi Y 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋