What can I do to overcome shyness around others?

Question

I used to have a shyness towards strangers now I find Im actually shy towards my friends. I think its conscious thoughts from puberty where I dont want them to think bad of me or something anyway Im a very quite guy around my best friends now because of this. However Im also shy around girls and look hopeless to them. Today at the bus stop I was waiting with my friend when this girl I like came and said hi to both of us. She said hey and my name but I simply replied hey just wondering also if thats rude because she kinda looked down when I said this. My friends very outgoing and he was talking lots to her and about himself and his afterschool job. I dont have a job so I couldnt really engage in the conversation so I just stood there. She kept glancing at me ready to ask me a question when jonnie was talking but I turned away because I knew I'd have nothing much to say. I think shes interested in me however we dont know each other that well so its kind of weird around each other.

Answer 1

It's a good habit to reply with someone's name but I don't think it's exactly rude if you're otherwise friendly. I suspect your nervousness made your voice funny, or you're reading too much into her looking down.

The secret to making conversation is not talking about yourself all the time, although the extroverts would have you believe that. What people really respond to is when someone shows genuine interest in them, and the easiest way to do that is to ask questions. That's also a way to cut off heavy talkers. So instead of berating yourself for being boring, you should look for a chance to say, "So [name], what kind of job do you have?" If the answer is none, then you ask what kind of job she would want, or what does she do after school instead. If she's interested and reasonably skilled, she will ask some questions back. It's important to really listen to the answers, and not get too caught up in answering your own questions. That's how you get to know each other and get past the initial weirdness.

Good luck.

Answer 2

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/ETQ7L

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.