It seems like his drinking has gotten worse since he retired. We can't even have a nice day ever beacuse he is always bitching about what my mom makes for dinner. And her meals are good too! I hate seeing him belittle her. And now tonight, mhelping make thanksgiving dinner he comes home drunk (which he is usually drunk by this time at home anyways) and is swearing around my daughter (his granddaughter) and being a buligerant jerk. Please do not even suggest a inertvention or rebahd or AA. It wont ever happen, he is to old and stubborn. He would seriously have to be drugged and kidnapped to be taken their.
We pray for it to and we pray for him to find God. Thats all we can do. But I can't stand this anymore. Its not right the way he acts around my daughter. By the way we are living he temp. Can anyone share some exp they have with this kind of thing? Thanks in advance.
2007-11-21 16:07:25 · 7 answers · asked by MiMi ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You said his drinking has gotten worse since he retired, so he may be having some trouble coping with the changes in his life. This happens more that you might think, if he has been at his job for 20 or 30 yrs, he may feel out of place. And the same goes for relationships,your working for company for a long period of time, and then "BAM" you find yourself home everyday, this is a major life change. instead of being out at work, he is home going "crazy" because he has not adjusted. First thing that you should do is get out with your daughter before it gets worse for you two, and try to find him something to do that he enjoys, that doesn't include alcohol. You can also do some research on line to educate yourself on alcoholism, and the effects, try to educate him yourself and tell him how you feel about his drinking. If all attempts to curb this problem fail, you may have to knock him out and drag him to a program.
GOOD LUCK
2007-11-21 17:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by CFF 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, make sure you are safe. Don't let anyone abuse you physically or in any other way. If you are being abused, contact the local Dept. of Social Services. Second, there is a program called ALANON specific for families of alcoholics. Look in the phone book. There are usually meetings somewhere close at least once a week. You are not going to be able to talk him into treatment. That will probably come when he realizes how out of control his life really is. Keep praying and know God hears your prayers. Just remember to pray for him as much as yourself. However, right now you need to take of yourself, stay safe ,and healthy. Don't try to change his behavior just keep yourself clear as much as you can.
2007-11-21 16:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by keith f 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may decide that living with your abusive father is the only way, but your rose-colored glasses obviously fell off. The bottom line is that you are teaching your daughter what you believe to be true every moment she sees you.
WHAT LESSON DO YOU WANT TO HAVE HER LEARN BEFORE YOU SEND HERE OUT INTO THE WORLD?
You are living in an abusive environment, and therefore, so is your daughter.
Get out, going to a shelter for abused women is the logical next step for you...perhaps your mom will follow, probably not, but stranger things have happened.
The important thing is to get your responsibilities in order--you and your daughter first. Anything else--later.
This may be the deciding Thanksgiving factor in the rest of your life--pay attention!
2007-11-21 16:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like he has had this problem for 40 years. Do not expect any changes in the next one or two years. The other aspect to this is his health. Has he seen a doctor? He probably has liver and gastric complications. If he is as bad as you say then a doctor for him would be the first step. Second, you and your family, should be attending Alanon classes. They will help you cope with these difficult times. Good luck.
2007-11-22 01:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad will not ever consider changing until reality slaps him square in the chops.
You and your kid need to get the heck out of there... a small garage apartment is better than putting up with abuse.
Your mom needs to buck up and file for divorce. She needs to begin collecting financial statements as they arrive in the mail NOW so she will have records of all assets. She gets 1/2 of all properties, including 401K, savings, the house, and anything else accrued during their marriage. She can start over in a more modest situation... without the abuse.
Consider talking to the switchboard at the local United Way Agencies for referrals to get yourself and your mom out of there. There are shelters that offer legal assistance.
2007-11-21 16:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I see that your a very caring family.
Have you thought about seeing a councilor for yourself. You could bring your mom with you also to the sessions if you needed her support.
Seeing a loved one with a mental illness is hard.
Does that make sense. There are some affordable community mental health clinics out there if money is an issue.
2007-11-21 16:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my dad is like that too. I no longer live with him, I have my own family now, but growing up, he would scream and yell at all of us. He has a drinking problem, and I think he suffers from depression, but he would never admit that. Its hard when they're so old and stubborn.
2007-11-21 16:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by bahl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋