Six years ago I began dating a single father. His son is 13. We live in NY. His sons mother lost custody of her two children (she had each child with different fathers). I won't delve into nasty details. My boyfriend has sole legal & residential custody. The children spend two weekends a month together w/mom and a few hours during the week as well. They are both happy and thriving living with their dads. The mother is very nasty and angry. All the time. She is verbally abusive. When we have to deal with her we are filled with anxieity, and her son is frightened. There is absolutely no way to respectfully deal with her. It's her way or else. She's also the type to falsely allege. CPS or cops when mad. This leaves my boyfriend and I mentally exausted and almost ill when we know we have to see her. We're considering a move. Not to keep her from seeing her son, just an area we want to live. 3 hours away. We worry that if child is asked he may choose to live with her out of fear. Thoughts?
2007-11-21 15:49:34 · 3 answers · asked by sad_in_ny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You really can't allow the kid to call the shots. You have to be the parents, and as such, you have to act for his highest good.
The main thing is to get control over the situation. You know the cops and CPS will probably have files going on the situation... can they share that with the court? How about getting a small pocket tape recorder and tape-record the exchanges every time you come into contact with the ex? Is there a way to get video? Set up a web cam?
Consider talking to the judge that handled the custody hearings. Consider changing the visitation rights to "supervised only"... and the ex has to come to the courthouse to spend time with the kids. You don't want to see or deal with her ever again. Ask about a restraining order... especially if you can present evidence to the judge from the police and CPS that she has mounted a harassment campaign.
2007-11-21 16:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You or your boyfriend needs to call CPS, explain to them whats going on...Believe it or not you may find the answer you seek from them, they are there to help, not always to take kids away...
2007-11-22 00:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the child that ull protect him if he choses u and ul promise that no hurting and yelli is to come if he chooses u.
2007-11-21 23:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by James Bondxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋