This is long and I have a lot ot say. Last Thursday my b/f of which i was living with decided to end it ugly. It started that he picked me up at work he was drunk he told me he didnt like me no more. He has falln in love with someone else which he has been seeing behind my back and has been at my house and she knew about me and didnt care. He got violent and angry and hit me and choked me and i ended up pressing charges against him. I just dont get how he led me on so well, i am hurt and having a hard time moving on, im alway upset and crying. Just dont understand how he could have left me for her when everything was good at least i thought so. He even lets me know he misses me how screwed up. I dont have any friends but i dont think meeting them at the bar is the right way. I need support on how to get over him in a healthy way but also to meet knew people to help in the the healing process.
2007-11-21 15:39:41 · 7 answers · asked by Patriot 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have two web sites that I will give you and the first deals with support for domestic violence. You have to tell yourself that the minute a person is violent, he no longer loves you and probably hasn't for a while, especially since he was seeing this other girl behind your back. You can look up resources in the NCADV site and that may help to start with but you have to tell yourself that he is a loser who is only after sex and a different girl now and then, so you are better off without him.
the second site has a lot of information for you including how to raise your self esteem after being used by this guy.
You need to do things to find friends and keep you busy like perhaps a gym somewhere or a bowling alley if you like bowling, hanging out with friends form work, and so on.
You may have to raise your self esteem perhaps if you don't have a lot of friends and the second site will help you with that and you may find it easier to make new friends.
the fact that he says he is missing you to me means he doesn't know what he wants and may want you back in time but he will cheat again and again, whether with you or this new girl, so you are better off without him. Look these two sites over, work on building your self esteem after the let down and don't rush into another relationship too fast and you will find the right person or he will find you somewhere you may not expect right now. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-21 16:00:48 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hon. So many things wrong here. First, the fact that you have no friends indicates that there was something wrong with the relationship. Men who are abusive try to isolate their wives and girlfriends - that way they don't have anyone around to, well, point out that the boyfriend is abusive. And it's only been a week. Of course you're still freaking. It's going to hurt a long time. Cut off all contact with him. You don't want to be with a drunk who hit and choked you, particularly one who was doing the nasty in your house with another woman. If necessary, get a restraining order to keep him away. Stay away from bars. Is church a possibility for you? Often you can meet nice people who are willing to be friends and supportive. Also, try calling a battered women's shelter. They may have a support group. And remember, you really deserve better.
2007-11-21 15:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by jane7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, sorry to hear about that all. If he is abusive, you're better off without him. Hopefully the police will give him his due. Last Thursday was only a few days ago. Give yourself the time you need, and things will be so much better. Just do your best to remember what he did, and use that to not miss him. I've been in so many relationships that went bad (for all sorts of reasons), so I know the pain and frustration of trying to tell yourself to get over it. Call your girlfriends and plan some stuff. Plan your own stuff. Go visit the people you've been meaning to. Just don't get involved with him again, unless he proves he's done lying, cheating, and administering drunken beatings/chokings. You'll be happier somber than dead.
2007-11-21 15:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its kind of hard to answer not knowing who you are...in the sense of your interests, your means, your environment, your work, your education, etc..
But if church is something you are interested in or do participate in you will find many caring and compassionate people there. You really need to find people who you have something in common with...but be involved in a positive activity.
Just be aware that you are emotionally vulnerable now and forming new relationships with new people can be a bit awkward and / or dangerous. Choose people to associate with that will not take advantage of your current state.
AVOID DRAMA.....rule to live by.
2007-11-21 15:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no clubs and bars or not the answer,go to church and get involved in whatever they got, just dont go back to him its not healthy and yes i have been there so i know what i am talking about open up a page on a web site i did and i have more friends then i had before
2007-11-21 15:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that kind of man pick the weak!!!!!!!!!! his wife will end up on a talk show with a bullet in her head n how she survived while hes in jail for 300 yrs!! find friends ''just friends'' at work-bowlin etc.. ask a girl if u can buy her a drink or coffee that u could use a couple new friends that she seems nice etc.. then her friends n theirs dont go by him !
2007-11-21 15:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by J.D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to meet good people, i know this mind sound cheezy, but you should go to church!! and also go to the gym. people who go to the gym!! i have met great people there. and attend classes... go to coffee shops.. have a sport. go to a place where people are sober. :) bars are not a good idea!
2007-11-21 15:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by nirvanababe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋