My guy is late thirties. We have been together for six months. I have tried to get him to tell me his history with past woman. He claims to have not been with anyone, with the exception of three woman this past year. He claims they are the only ones. I don't know if he only told me about them, because a freind told me about me about him having dated them or what.
How do you get a guy to tell you his history of past woman? He claims he was never gay. However, why does he say that he has never had a serious relationship before (outside of the other three, this past year, that two of which he claims, to only have kissed and nothing more).
He says that he never dated before that time.
How do I convince him to tell me his history? How do I know if he is being truthful?
2007-11-21 14:54:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is it really your business what he did before he met you?
As long as he hasn't been sleeping with everyone without using a condom then it really isn't your business.
2007-11-21 14:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask his family! Ask his buddies. Some guys, believe it or not, are not, are not scoring women all their lives. They are shy or insecure. Just read some of the questions from guys on YA! There are guys asking for help on whether any woman will sleep with them since they have not got experience and they are in their 20's to 30's! Late 30's is pretty late, so maybe you could check his facts - I think it is fair to let him know that he may not have had a relationship before, but you want him to tell you why - and you do not ever want to hear he misled you. That is fair, right?
Another possibility - he might have been mishandled by someone older in his distant youth. Sexual abuse is another reason it might take years for a guy to take a shot at a normal relationship - so he might be a late bloomer or a shy guy or a guy recovering from a very damaging assault in his childhood - you do not know. So feel your way through with him and tel him you are ready for whatever he needs to tell you, but you are expecting some info or you will never know who he is or who will show up.
2007-11-21 23:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE'll tell u when he's comfortable telling u. OR maybe he won't tell u. As long as he doesn't have kids or diseases, don't worry about it. HE's probably got baggage of some sort reguardless of if he's been in a relationship because of his age. I mean, if he is telling u the truth, life must've been pretty hard for him being single for so long and admitting it. ESpecially being a virgin at his age. IT's commendable to me if he's telling the truth, but if not, he has his reasons. IF he's ever thinking of taking it serious with u, he might eventually tell u. But until then, just wait...or u'll risk loosing someone u like over nothing.
2007-11-21 23:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have found that telling my sex history to various women has not produced good results. The harder you try to convince him, the more he will, and should, resist. Is he being truthful? Are you? Is anyone?
Some hetero guys are late starters---have anxieties, other things going on, low sex-drive. Being a late starter does not mean he was involved in gay relationships. For you to assume that gives me an insight into why he does not wish to discuss this with you.
I am a hetero man with a son, an ex-wife, and parts of my history would make a sailor blush, but I am now in a sexual remission. haven't dated in awhile. And I'm cool with that---but, because of where I live and the fact that I am not dating, several people have suspected me of being gay...whatever.
2007-11-21 23:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be gentle with him. IT's possible that he really DIDN'T date anyone in the past, and that this is an insecurity for him that you keep bringing up. Is it really that important right NOW? Stop asking and see where it goes before you bring it up again... It seems like you don't trust him yet but maybe when you see (if you see) he's an honest guy and then it won't bother you.
As long as he doesn't have STI's, it's not THAT big of a deal for NOW.
2007-11-21 23:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by :Sheila: 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he IS being truthful.
I don't think most men would be proud of only having been with 3 women, in one year.
It does seem awfully strange, though. Why was he celibate for so long and then had this flurry of activity? I'd accept what he's saying and try to get the story behind that. Or, not. Maybe it'll just come out in time.
2007-11-21 23:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He only needs to tell you if you're not using a condom. Then, expect him to lie anyway just like many guys will. My guy said he had slept around a lot, maybe 20 girls and he was 34 at the time. I now know it was at least 100 girls and he's 36 now.
Even if he tells you the truth, you're going to think it's a lie, so how will you ever know? YOU WON"T EVER KNOW for sure, so stop asking or move on.
2007-11-25 21:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by rabbit4041 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy is trying to impress you he would probably tell you just to be cocky but this guy is different and he maynot be telling you because he really likes you and doesnt want to reveal his past because he is afraid of what you will think of him. Respect his privacy because everyone is intitled to that and your making him discuss something he doesn't feel comfortable telling you right now, but if you give him some space he might come around and tell you but until then don't pressure him. Hope this helped. Happy Thanksgiving.
2007-11-21 23:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men dont like to talk about the past youve got to think whether he is the right one for you now as you are already doubting him and a relationship shold be built on trust and a little bit of everything else and usually men and women argue about a mans past because then it gets into the whole jealousy and comparison stuff that a relationship that you want to work doesnt need so maybe its best you dont know but try talking to him and if he still dont want to talk about it you cant force him so you will just have to accept it or move on good luck let me know and if you can answer some of my questions thanks
2007-11-21 23:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want his history? You might not like what you hear. What good would it do? None at all. It sounds like to me you're the jealous type which spells trouble. You won't be satisfied with him just telling you how many, then it will be who, then does he still think of them, did they have sex and you'll want all the gory details. He'll get sick of your constant hounding and leave. Ask yourself if you'd feel comfortable telling him about every guy you've screwed or if he asked you how good was it, how well built were they, do you still think of them, do you ever see them, do you want to see them and on and on. Some things are best left alone and that's oneof them. Mind your own business or you'll be on your own.
2007-11-21 23:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by bikinkawboy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does it matter? Will you feel different knowing? It shouldn't matter!!! If you wanna know if he has AIDS ASK HIM!!! or keep yourself protected. Are you wanting to judge him on past relationships? Quit worrying about them and focus on the 2 of YOU! I agree with ISAI 100% MOVE ON!!!!!
2007-11-21 23:05:36 · answer #11 · answered by darlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋