When someone in authority asks for your name and then calls you by your first name only, does it bother you?

Question

I find it quite inappropriate and controlling.

I deal with law enforcement from time to time in my work duties.....

Answer 1

I guess it would depend on the situation..
say officer Fil-less says to me..' how are you doing Mrs. Hammer?' I would feel like he was using 'proper terms'
however if he says to me.. 'how are you Jamma?' i would think he was trying to be my friend, and that might make me feel special..

i guess it depends on who, what, where and why they were addressing me??

Answer 2

I find it inappropriate especially in a business situation. It happens more in America than in Europe and I find Americans are often hurt and/or insulted when I ask them to be more formal. In Britain I am more likely to respond my using a diminutive of the other persons first name as that usually gets the point across. That doesn't work in America at all. Having married an American with a difficult to pronounce last name (for Americans anyway) I find myself having to give pronunciation lessons several times a day. Oddly in the UK nobody has any trouble with my last name.
I get even more annoyed by sales people or reception staff who use my first name without my permission.

Answer 3

My last name is incredibly difficult to pronounce at all unless you are Russian or Polish or know a bit of one of those languages. So, even though I'm in my 50s, I would prefer to be called by my first name rather than have someone butcher the last one. One person even called me up and asked "Is this Mrs. Blahblahblah?" Naturally I hung up the phone.

Answer 4

When someone in authority asks me for my name,I would actually prefer they only use my first name and only if it's not in a condescending,disrespectful way.
When someone uses my last name,or tries to they usually butcher it so badly,that I cringe,however the person who can pronounce it confidentially,correctly,and look at me with a twinkle in their eye,better break out the hand cuffs because I have been a very very bad girl.

Answer 5

You are right; at a certain age, I would say above 25yrs. of age, a person has reached the point in their life, that respect is expected. Under 25, people like to be called by their first name, less intimating for them. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Answer 6

I don't believe that the intention would necessarily be to place you in an inferior role; it may be something that they have been trained to do. The psychological impact of being "talked down to" may simply be the desired effect.

If you don't like them called you by your first name, just politely ask them to not use it; it might turn the [psycological] tables.

Answer 7

You expect them to call you MR zingis, instead of just plain zingis??

I've never had to deal with "authority" apart from in a work place, which we all call each other by first names anyways. Imagine calling your work colleagues Mr and Mrs so n so.

Ummm i've never had it happen so i wouldn't know if it would bother me?

Answer 8

You determine how you like people to address you. When someone asks for you name and you give it you offer it as you wish to be called. My name is ...... and I prefer to be called ....... What I find annoying is when one does this and someone chooses to use your name differently. I then respectfully say that my name is ..... or I prefer to be addressed as ...... In business I find it annoying that someone would assume a first name when a Mr., Mrs., or Ms. is more appropriate. People who assume familiarity are controlling types. I agree.

Answer 9

Yes it bothers me.

But there are times when you must grin and bear it.

Some people have a need to dominate and control. It should be their problem, not yours.

Take a deep breath and move on. Why fret??

Answer 10

it doesn't bother me because i prefer for people to always address me casually , i can understand why it bothers you though and since it does i would suggest not allowing it any more. next time someone does that just correct them by saying the name you would like them to address you by. no attitude or anything like that just simply stop say the name you want them to use. they may not like it but hey that's there problem they were the one who neglected to ask if it was alright to address you casually.