My boyfriend and I attend the same university, and I'm currently in my second year, while he's in his third. This year, I live in a great apartment with a good friend of mine from school, but the rent is just too much! My boyfriend lives at home currently, but plans to move out next year. We've talked about it, and decided it would be a smart financially, and for our relationship, to get an apartment together. We've been together for a month shy of a year now, and by the time we actually move out, it will be almost 2 years (next September) I'm worried about bringing this up with my parents. His older brother moved out at 21 with his girlfriend, so his will not be an issue. Being the oldest, I'm not sure how to broach the subject with my parents without freaking them out too much! I know it's a smart decision, and my boyfriend and I essentially live together on weekends already, but I'm not sure how they will see it. Is 20 too young to live with a boyfriend? How do I talk to my parents?
2007-11-21 14:43:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for the support guys! Just want to say a quick thank you to joe_fleeman who answered this question (Now that I have a preview of what my parents might say, I'll have a better shot at planning out my responses! :) ) Any thoughts on what a good jumping-off point for this inevitable conversation could be would be greatly appreciated!
Just to clarify, "living together on weekends" also means that yes, I have washed his dirty, nasty underwear and still manage to love him dearly. :)
2007-11-21 15:39:01 · update #1
I don't think it is too young. Actually, I will be having the same talk with my parents in about a year. :) I am nervous about it, but I know it is the best decision. My boyfriend really needs to get out of his house. We will have been together about two years when he wants to move out. My mom will be so against it, but I'm going to have to find some way to tell her, because we ARE going to move in together.
I will be watching this question. :) I wish you the best of luck!
To Joe down there:
Why not just get married? Hmm, maybe because she feels they may be too young to make such a permanent commitment? To me it seems to make more sense to see if living together works before they make such a life-altering decision. It seems rather dumb to just jump into something, especially with the divorce rates these days. I would like to know how compatible I am living in close quarters with someone before I make a lifelong commitment. I don't want to ever get divorced, so I know that when I get married, I want to know that it is something that is going to work.
2007-11-21 14:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not too young, but your parents will try to talk you out of it. If you are still together in a year, then you should definitely do it. You might want to hold off mentioning it to them until you are definitely sure it's going to happen. Then tell them you made the decision and hope they respect that.
2007-11-21 14:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I let my fiance move in with me when I was 20, of course, I didn't tell my parents about it. Do you need to tell your parents? I know plenty of university students who live with their boyfriends, but simply don't mention it to mom and dad. It's not really their business you know?
Anyways, if you must tell them, just tell them and let them get upset for awhile. Just live your life how you see fit. Most parents would either pressure you two to get married or get over it as a sign of the changing times. Of course, if your parents are psychotic control freaks, they may cut you off financially, so if you depend on them at all for money and you think they're control freaks, go with option B, keeping your personal life seperate from your family life.
2007-11-21 14:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a smart decision because you are fantasizing about how wonderful life will be playing "pretend married".
If you have been together that long and are going to live like you are married, then why not just GET married and live together while finishing school?
Love without commitment is nothing."I love you",sex, and shacking is NOT a commitment, but "I DO" is.Too many people in your age bracket are doing this, THEN getting to know the real person they moved in with AFTER they have found out they are pregnant and realize they screwed up.I bet your parents will tell you close to the same thing I just told you.
2007-11-21 15:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
no
most parents tell their kids to move out when they turn 18
you should be fine.
2007-11-21 14:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just please get some type of bc pil or protection. no babies. i told my mom she got mad then got over it
2007-11-21 14:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by youngthani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋