Did she overreact to the break up?

Question

I broke up with her telling her it wasnt fair for her because I knew she got upset I didnt have a lot of time to spend with her and that I wasnt sure I felt the same anymore but I wanted to remain friends if she could and maybe things would work out later. Initially she was fine, she was crying but not angry. The next 2 or 3 weeks she continued to get angry because couldnt understand how I loved her one day and not the next, how I seemed not to be affected by it all and kept lashing out/insulted a few times. I finally cut contact and said I hated her. I regret that. I was her first love and first guy she slept with. She was also devastated when she found out 3 weeks post break up I hooked up with some other girl. I want to contact her and apologize. What do I do? I feel so bad.

Answer 1

Buck up and apologize.

Answer 2

Well, you could leave a note, one last note, and confess how you once felt, how you do feel, and how you wish things hadn't ended like they did, but you wish her a world of joy and hope she finds a man that'll treat her right.

But, that might cause more drama, and she might get a string of hope that you might want her back.

I think, it'd be better just to let it go, and stop talking to her. Although, some things on your part shouldn't have been said, but on her part some things shouldn't have said either. It would be best to let her heal on her own, if you talk to her, it will only cause more damage.

Maybe in the future when you're on decent terms again, apologize. It'll never be too late, and I'm sure she'll be sorry for the insults she said to you. If not, well, atleast you didn't leave something unsaid.

And to answer your question ("did she overreact") no, she didn't. It must've been very painful and mindblowing that something could happen that quickly, and unforantly, since she has never had a lover before and never has been nearly as heartbroken before, she was confused, and hurt. People do stupid things when they're hurting, and her stupid thing was to keep insulting you, but I think she did that because she wanted you to hurt too.

But speaking on your point of view, it's for the best for both of you. I wish you luck m'dear!

Answer 3

wow
you basically are in the same situation i was in a year ago
same exact except im a girl
well im not sure how long you guys were going out for
and that make a HUGE difference to say if she overreacted or not
we were dating for 11 months
afterwards it was hell
i had started dating another guy after him and he got all freaky
said the exact same thing to me how can you act like you are unaffected by this

if you need to talk
talk
but dont do anything physical
i kept hooking up with and meeting with my X and that made it even harder for him to break away
the thing is whenever i was around him it just felt naturalto do b/c i only knewhim as a bf and not a friend

it was hard for me b/c i really wanted to stay friends

the thing that you must realize s that you need to make sacrifices

you might have to sacrifice your own wants to ease the pain, or just help the future be better

if you want to be friends try talking
really get everything out

but if you really dont care about her
just let things blow over

its been over a year after i broke up with my X and he is finally being okay around me
as in seeing me in the hallways and actually waving instead of seeing me and staring at his feet or the wall

i dont know what this girl is like
but if she starts rumors or w/e its her prob
you know who you are
if her friends are bitches to you they are just witches
i got alot of crap from his friends but you know what

you cant control your heart
and if you dont love someone
you shouldnt lead them on and continue to date them

if you want to be friends
give her break time
no real contact for atleast 3 months
let her find her life back without you as a lover

dont try to be friends with her again until shes settled

the only reason i think my X can actually say a full sentence to me now is b/c he has a new gf

so who knows

thats my general advice

Answer 4

I was in a relationship that was not a good relationship with a guy I once lived with. He had some surprises in our relationship that were not discovered at first. He was not the right guy for me. Bad things happened. Then he started to hang out with some other girl and then another... I left after finally getting him to sign the release to let me out of the lease. He was late on his share and I didn't want my name to be mud.

Anyway, I use to pray he would see what he had done and would apologize. Three years later, he called and left me a message actually apologizing to me for what he had done to me.

You could call her or write her. You could also see if she would meet you so you can apologize in person, if she would. Be sincere about it. Admit what you did wrong and you are sincerely sorry for causing her the pain you caused. Tell her you never hated her and that you were not ready and you were foolish and you regret how it ended. Tell her you are truly sorry and wish her all the best in her life and she deserves so much. Tell her the good qualities about her first. Don't let her believe you are trying to get back with her, that you just wanted to apologize. She may or may not accept it, but at least you were man enough to actually apologize. Best wishes to you.

Answer 5

nothing to do any thing is to give her faults hope (unless theri is hope!) that is another matter! but you are not sure! witch is what got you into this in the first place, its good you have a bad feeling about it though because of your actions you both have scars to carry for ever, she will get over it , it sounds like you may carry it much longer than she will, (that's a good thing) but you will both carry it on to the next relationship its called LEARNING! best you can do is Try not to hurt to many people along the way! remember the damage you do some one else will have to live with or fix, try to leave a woman better off then when you found them, more positive about themselves exc. be honest always! never say something you are not sure of. ( because even when you try your best you can only be so sure)
Good luck

Answer 6

You obviously haven't learned from your mistakes and are still going after emotionally unavailable men. What is your "boyfriend" criteria, seriously? Someone who shows you interest and that you're attracted to? Boyfriend is a title that should be earned. Watch someone's actions over time before diving into a relationship with them. Being in a state of constant insecurity is not a healthy loving relationship. Get some self worth and don't attach yourself to every loser who comes along. No doubt your mentally abusive relationship left you with scars but a loving boyfirned would not accuse you of being too sensitive or over emotional knowing what you went through. You are wedged into the role of the victim and unless you take a moment to find yourself (separate to a 'man') you would always find yourself wrong-footed in relationships.

Answer 7

apologize admit ur mistakes, dont try to defend urslef too much. loves hard & its gonna b either way, sorry. apologize saying it was best 4 her. & shes free to be with other guys. then make her feel like shes needed, ask her advice or opinion on something. never ever bring up another girl in front of her, either talking about another girl or being with one. that will hurt her bad. also sleeping wiht a girl, means long time commitment, usually (if ur a decent guy & not a player), so dont do that unless u wanna or are married to a girl. good luck!

Answer 8

Haha wow... I can relate to this really well from the girls position, but without the lashing out I guess...
You said you wanted to contact her and apologize...
Do it. Maybe she's still really mad and will seem like she blows it off when you apologoize and maybe even lash out at you again... but thatll just be her defenses because you did hurt her, after all. She'll appreciate it more than you ever know, though.

Answer 9

you should think about working things out because one day your gonna look back at this and wonder why the hell was you so stupid, you will never meet anyone like her the fact that you were her first no other girl will share a bond like you and her . so think about it.
get some flowers, get on your knees and apologize ,make things right, do it for the sake of not having to say i wish i would have when you see her with someone else.

Answer 10

Do her a favor and leave her alone. If you try to contact her especially to apologize it will only make life harder on her. She needs some time to get you completely out of her system. No contact is best until she 's feeling herself again.

Answer 11

You were a mild-stone relationship in her life. She lost her virginity to you and she will never forget you. At this point, I would not contact her. You wanted her out of your life and it appears you have established that goal. If you contact her, you may send the wrong message, plus hearing from you can open the wound again.