Was this a little mean?

Question

December 26,2003 my cat died and my mom and grandma didnt tell me instead, since they where in a new house they told me to show my aunt around the neighboorhood!i thoughy that since that was the first cat i had ever realized and could tell was a cat and i grew to love they didnt tell me until the next day! So I got even more upset!

The cat died of natural causes though

My grandma told me on our way walking back from getting the mail!

They hurt my feelings WAY more by not telling me! And also the reason why im posting this 4 years latmis because I CANT GET OVER IT! I think about it At the least twice a week!

Answer 1

I dont think they did it on purpose maybe they just didnt want to hurt your feelings

Answer 2

I think probably your mom and grandma knew that you would be upset about your cat's death and they didn't want to cause you grief, even though they knew you should be told. It's very difficult for parents to give bad news to their children. I don't think they were trying to hurt you; in fact, they may have taken a longer time because they were trying to figure out the best way to help you.

I'm sorry for your loss of your cat. Since it has been such a long time, maybe you could benefit from the help of a professional counselor to help you deal with these issues. Best wishes.

Answer 3

"Mean" is subjective; the incident happened to you so you are the only one who can judge the "mean factor".

This obviously affected you greatly, since you can't seem to let it go. I can understand obsessing about something and feeling like there's some unfinished business to attend to. I must stress, however, that holding on to that baggage will only serve to make you resentful and distrustful of your mother and grandmother.

The urge is strong to say something about it, isn't it? You really want to confront them over the way they handled it, don't you? Wouldn't you just like to give them a piece of your mind? Well, that's probably the worst thing you could do. It would only cause a rift in your relationship with them, and what for? Pride? Ego? Self-satisfaction?

The most difficult thing for you to do also happens to be the right thing. It's going to take time, and much practice, but you'll need to learn how to forgive them. And by that I don't mean *saying* you forgive them and feeling superior or self-righteous about it. True forgiveness only comes with love, understanding, and a sense of humility.

If you do decide to say something, please be kind. Be forgiving. Be understanding. And be all those things when you ask that deaths be handled differently in the future. I'm sure your mother and grandmother would love to know that you're maturing faster than they thought, and that you can handle the fact of death, as well as a difficult conversation, with so much grace.

What's done is done. The past cannot be changed by words or deeds. It is only important in that it got you to where you are today. Where you'll be tomorrow depends entirely on you--your motivation, your willingness to compromise and forgive, your desire to be the best "you" you can be.

Answer 4

This was not mean but obviously very well intentioned. Unfortunately the result was not what theyhad planned.
Have you spoken with them about it and also about the loss you felt for your cat.
It also appears to me that you have not really been able to grieve properly for your beloved pet
I really feel that right now you need to understand that they do love you and wanted to spare you the hurt and the pain, although unfortunately it did the opposite.
Nonetheless it is important for you to try to move beyond that and, as I mentioned above, speak with them about it without blaming or shouting or any negativity but just for them to understand how you felt and are feeling. But you are also doing your cat an injustice by holding onto the anger.

As I also mentioned above it is important to grieve for your pet and to move towards good memories of your life together. You don't mention if you have subsequently adopted another pet but I do heartily recommend it. Not to replace your cat as that is impossible but to continue his./her legacy.
Lastly I want to recommend you visit a wonderful website about the loss of a pet. I found it really helpful when my sweet cat passed away.

http://www.petloss.com

I especially loved the poem about the "rainbow bridge" and although I still have tears when I read it even now but they are tears of wonderful memories and love for my darling cat.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

Answer 5

It was very mean! Owners should eb told right away if thier cat died. I'd be very upset if no one told me that my cat died and just lied about it! Never leave a cat in the care of them again.

Answer 6

well your parents probably did what they thought was best for you so that you wouldn't get too upset. You should try talking to both your parents and see if you can sort out the whys and maybe talk about the trust factor. Truth is the best way to go!
I am sorry about your cat!

Good Luck

Answer 7

It was a bit mean but htey likely were trying to do the right thing. It was 4 years ago though.

Answer 8

Heres one. My folks never would tell me when one of my pets , were sick or had to be put down. Insted they said they just wondered off. That was so terrible, cause I searched for them , and asked the whole neighborhood. They did not stop this practice until I was 18yrs. old. Strange.

Answer 9

they were just trying to protect you from getting your feelings hurt so don't hold a grude on them because that wouldn't be fair. Live laugh love.Bless and Heart.

Answer 10

Something that happened four years ago doesn't deserve a question. You are wasting your time, you are only going to get negative answers like "get over it" or u will get "they didnt want to hurt you." which i think you already knew. so you should keep only the good memories of your old cat and just go on with your life. ♥