who do I call for my 14 yr old daughter who has no respect for authority, hangs with boys and girls older then

Question

her, disrespects her mom,does not go to school,runs the streets, comes home when she wants to. I am a single parent of five children, 16, 15, 13, and 5, boys and one daughter. any help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Oh, dear, you lost control of her years ago, as these problems start when they are very young, and just like puppies, they need to be trained. Doesn't mean you are a terrible mother; you are a busy mother, trying to raise a family and need help. If your children respected you, this would not happen, but some personalities just don't respect anyone; your daughter will have to learn the hard way.
Sadly, it may take her getting into trouble before she stops, or she may not. She may even want to run away from home. If there is anyone she respects (a church member, an aunt or uncle, a dad) let them spend lots of time with her. Her basic problem is that she has too much time to get into trouble. She is 14 going on 25, she thinks. She actually is emotionally going on 7, with the rebellion and "don't tell me what to do."
Intervention is difficult, but do all you can to spend time with her. If she doesn't want that(she really does, but doesn't know how to say "I need you, Mom), figure out ways to be with her. Shopping, etc.
Set boundaries. There HAS to be consequences to her behavior. Just as that puppy I spoke of, there would be consequences if it peed everywhere in the house. The same with your daughter. She doesn't come in at a certain hour, the next day she loses a privilege. With each child the privileges they miss are different. One misses money, another TV, etc. If she has nothing, get her something, and then you have something to take away. BE FIRM. She will hate you, but you are her mother, and the one responsible to train her.
THEN, you get yourself a support system. I know, you are really tired and busy, but you need to get into a group that can support you in this. You cannot do it alone. Do the boys respect you at all.? Then enlist the 16 yr old to help you get to the heart of this problem. But, get help, for you, for her and for the whole family.
There is free counseling available in some cities; get everyone into counseling as a family, and find who is angry and about what. It is so important to save her and anyone else from themselves. They are too young to realize the consequences of their behavior. If she is sexually active, forget what everyone else says and get her on birth control. She cannot and should not start a baby right now, when she is a baby.
Good luck, and my prayers are with you.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are talking about me, 20 years ago. I hate to say this, but my parents tried everything from counseling to sending me to live with strickter relatives to moving us out in the country and I still ran wild. I honestly think I was just trying to get attention that I never got when I did behave and do good. I did learn the advantages of being respectful when I went to Job Corps at 17, however I still had a problem with anyone that didn't give me respect in return. I would suggest making sure she knows that you notice when she does something good. Get to know the people she hangs out with, they might not be that bad after all (people made so many assumptions about me & my friends when it came to drugs and alcohol- those were not things that we were into, we just acted a little crazy and had fun). Get to know her again, as she's growing up and her interests are changing. I know it's hard to divide your attention, especially as a single parent with that many kids, but it can be done. But honestly, it sounds like she's craving attention and trying to prove her independance. You might also do some investigation to see if there is some underlying problem you don't know about, especially if this has been going on for quite a while (I was molested when I was very young, which was probably part of the reason for my acting out because I was blamed for it and thought it was my fault). If you want to talk more, just send me a message.

Answer 4

She's doing it for attention. Try talking to her first. Take the door off her room, you are the parent. When she leaves, call her in as a runaway. Bring her to the police station and tell them that you are having issues and let them help you have her pick up trash from the side of the freeway. You can't pick what she calls her friends but let her know that they will not be allowed at your house. Tell her the only thing she does is eat. sleep and s*it at YOUR HOUSE. Her disrespect will not be tolerated. She has a curfew, it may seem harsh but lock her out. If you want to be really extreme, bring her to the morgue and let her see what could happen to her if she keeps it up. The law says you have to clothe and feed your kids and keep a roof over their heads. Make her eat a jam sandwich(two pieces of bread jammed together), make her sleep in the garage(it's a roof over her head), get her some funky clothes from the thrift store. Tell her if she doesn't like your rules, you'd be hurt but more than happy to help her move to the state home. Good luck and peace and blessings.

Answer 5

Do what you should be doing.... parenting. You are her parent and legal guardian . Lay down the law, set down the rules, be firm, if you punish her make it stick. Try to talk to her so that she understands what she is doing is wrong and why. There has to be a reason she is acting out, try to find out. I understand you are a working single parent but you have to be both mother and father. Don't try to be your kid's friend, she doesn't need that. She needs an authoritive parent and not someone who will provide her with goodies, no more cellphone, no more money or clothes. Take away what she prizes the most and don't give it back to her until she gets in line. Good Luck! Be firm!

Answer 6

Try getting her into a scared straight program the have many different names but the idea is simple.What scared straight does is takes young kids and brings them into prisons and show the kid what they will be like if they continue down the road they r on.the kids have contact with felons who range from petty theives to murders etc and these sonvicts talk to the kids and explain how they got where they r and all sorts of other stuff.I am a ex con who used to mentor kids from the local scared straight program and i have seen many change their lives around due to it so i know it works.To find out more try calling your local court house or the boys and girls club might be able to help to.

Answer 7

Yikes!! that sounds like me when I was 14...(I'm 30 now) Tell her you love her. My mother never told me that, she screamed and did various other nasty things (I am NOT saying your a horrid mother) Just asking for help proves otherwise..let her read this...I ended up pregnant @ 16..a drug addict (am now clean and sober) I lost 2 children because I thought I knew everything. I now live with the regrets of my actions..I never thought my views would change...I didn't view myself as a 'punk'. The sad thing was, everyone else did..I wish I had listened to my parents..they had been there done that..but I never saw it.. Unfortunately my mother called every place she could think of...so i ran away..I don't mean to scare you but sometimes we need our own wake up calls...I am open for emails...Take care, Good luck and God bless...

Answer 8

Talk to her. Tell her if she does not clean her life up, she could get into serious trouble some day. If living in the gutter, pregnant or something, and in trouble with the police is a good life to her, tell her to keep up what she's doing.
You, as her mother, need to get her life on track. If she still insists to continue in her ways, you need to start forcing her to go to school and tell her that being a rebel is fun as a teenager, but it won't be when you have no life as an adult.

Answer 9

Well you could call social services but I don't know if that's any good.

Maybe look for a boot camp she can go to or even go as far as contacting a show like another user said, unless you don't want any humilation..


Do you have any other family members you could turn to? It must be really tough, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.


Good luck

Answer 10

Call on family for help.

Otherwise, let go of trying to control her and let her make the decisions she needs to make. Let teachers, counselers and possibly your county juvenile hall know of the situation and that you have lost control of it, and they might be able to suggest programs or options for you.

Also, seek out a pastor at a church. Sometime, reaching out to someone with a different approach is all it takes, especially when they get involved in enriching acitvities.

Good luck.