How is this right (Mormonism)?

Question

As of lately, I have spoken to several women who grew up in the Mormon church. Many of them, were sexually assaulted as teens and young adults. By men that were members, family members, or just a random person.

When they went to their bishops, they all received the same treatment. They were denied being able to take the sacrament. They were told they were to repent for their "sin". The men received very little punishment, if any. They were told it was there own fault for attracting the man.

How is this right? How can you justify a religion that does such a thing? This not just one or two cases, this is SEVERAL.

As well, an 11 year old boy is told by his bishop that if he masturbates, he will become a homosexual, and will not be allowed into heaven.

Coca Cola: How did I give the Mormons a bad name? It was their actions, not mine.
If anything, I can open a few eyes.

If rape isn't a sin, why are so many young women put through the repentance process after the fact?

gumby: How typical, lol. "You made it up". Have you checked the replies? I am not the only one who knows people who have gone through this.

Yes, humans make mistakes. But is a bishop not called of God? Why would God call on someone who is so judgemental?
If it's wrong to punish the girls, according to your handbooks, then why is it done so often? Why wouldn't these bishops, called by God, disobey? If man makes so many errors, why put your trust in any church leader at all?

It really is almost funny how many of you take this as a lie. Denial perhaps?

I have no reason to lie. Just because I reveal an embrassing part of the church does not make it a lie. That makes you blind to what happens behind closed doors.

Girls SHOULD be afraid to talk to a bishop. Humans are not fit to judge another human in such a manner.

Annalynn: I've done more research than you could ever imagine. Clearly, if you are still part of the religion.


I just LOVE how so many of you just assume the girls were never raped, it would never happen. Stop being so blind to your own church.

Of coarse you've never heard of a case. Do you think the church would actually make what they did public? They hide so much, and this is part of it.

This also does not narrow down to one bishop. It is several on different occasions. They just have you too brainwashed to look into it and maybe care that so many people were so emotional abused by the church.

Answer 1

Its not right. Therein lies the problem with people confessing to another human being. No matter what they call themselves (bishops, priests,etc) they are still human beings who are going to judge and be obnoxious,etc.

Truth is denied a lot in the mormon church so its not surprising that the victim is made the scapegoat or that nothing is done at all about the issue.

Sadly, I think it happens in every church.

Answer 2

It is sad that happened to them. You have to remember that for a long time, that is the opinion the world had of rape victims- not that it is right. I only have one side of the story and I have found that in many of the situations, there is another side that is being left out. However, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. All I can say is that the leaders were completely wrong in reacting this way. It is too avoid these situations that the church has changed the policy as to how these situations have been handled. It is my understanding that the bishops are no longer allowed to handle abuse accusations on their own, they have to report them to church headquarters I believe. This will help to minimize these problems. Abuse is simply Not tolerated and the leadership of the church does nto codone it in anyway. However since the church is run by humans the execution of some things are not gonna be perfect.

As for the masturbation thing- it is definitely not church policy to say that some one who does it is going to be homosexual- that is just absurd. What is church policy is that we believe that sexual activity should only be between a husband and wife who are legally and lawfully wed. Servicing yourself is selfish and does not fit into activity between an husband and wife. Also contrary to popular belief, it is not a nessacary part of a boys life, they can get by without it when they are taught to resist temptation and when they are not taught immediate gratification.

Answer 3

Wow, I'm so sorry this happened. I don't think it is right. I can't imagine it being their fault, but I'm not privy to all the details. I wouldn't think (given what you've said about it) that they would need to repent of being sexual abuse victims.
I justify the religion by believing that there are people who are in leadership positions of the church, but that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes, or that they should be perfect before agreeing to be in those types of positions. Now this isn't meant to absolve them from any wrong doing, just that you can't blame the religion for what some of it's adherants do.

As for the young boy, I suppose some people may think that. I don't see how the Bishop should have been brought into the situation though. It's a family thing and should be discussed amongst the family members. -- I mean unless the Bishop is his father, or caught him in the act or something. Even so, I don't think that a guy maturbating will cause them to become gay, that doesn't even make sense.

EDIT: Yes, a Bishop is called of God. Sometimes God calls those who need to learn a particular quality. For example, many of my ward members say that one of our former Bishops was very clickish prior to being Bishop, and really didn't want to have anything to do with people, or expressing his opinion in Sunday School or bearing his testimony or really anything like that. I moved into the ward just a few months after he was called. I personally saw great growth in him during his time as Bishop. He became much more outgoing, and grew his circle of friends, became much more willing to voice his opinion and testimony. Now he actually walks around chatting with others and shaking hands with people, whereas before I'm told he would just sit there looking like he wanted to be left alone. Now, I know that's not the same thing, but my point is a LOT of times God calls the willing, then teaches them how to become what He wants them to become. And usually it's because they need to learn some gospel principle. Maybe in the case of the Bishop you are talking about, it's humility, or not being quick to judge, or any number of things. We all have a lot to learn while here, and while I don't have a problem with your question, perhaps being open to the possiblility that the Bishop can make a mistake and that doesn't mean that the church isn't true might be a good thing to consider.

Answer 4

You know what, you must have been misinformed or the people you talked to weren't raped.

In our church the person raped did not commit any sin whatsoever and they will still be allowed to take the sacrament and go to the temple and/or hold the priesthood. However, if they were in fact NOT raped then those privileges would be denied.

The person who raped the girl or boy, if caught, would be excommunicated from the church and if convicted, go to prison just like anyone else.

I know people who were raped and also people who committed adultery, and the raped person was not denied any privileges in the church. The church even provided money for medical expenses and free counseling. The person who commited adultery (note that they weren't a rapist), was not able to take the sacrament or go to the temple until their repentance process was complete, but was not excommunicated.

I have never known a person who was raped to be told it was their fault for attracting the man. In fact, the person I know was blaming herself for that and the bishop convinced her otherwise, that it was NOT her fault. And if it was consensual both man and woman would receive the same punishment, because they both committed a sin.

No one will try to justify it, because it probably isn't true. And if it is, the bishop shouldn't have been a bishop.

About the boy: That sounds stupid. Why would someone who masturbates become homosexual?

In our church we believe masturbation is wrong, and we also believe homosexuality is wrong. But the biggest thing that makes me think this is fake is that he said he will not be allowed into heaven. The only people who won't go to 'Heaven' will be sons of perdition, and homosexual people are NOT sons of perdition. (Not to mention we don't really call it heaven. There are three categories: the celestial kingdom, Terrestial Kingdom and Telestial Kingdom. Do your homework before bashing a religion. It makes you look stupid if you don't.)

None of your stories even make sense. Maybe they weren't mormon's.

P.S. I know of many other religions who treat raped girls very, very harshly and sometimes even allow them to be killed. Our religion is not like that.


EDIT: Just so you know, people should not be afraid to talk to their bishops. I personally have talked to my bishop many times, and was very comforted by how understanding and kind he was in all aspects.

If these girls were wrongly accused by their Bishops, then I'm sorry. But that is not Church protocall, and usually does not happen. These Bishops should be dealt with by the stake presidency.

Everyone is human. Why put our trust in people who make mistakes? Because we make mistakes too. If we didn't put our trust in someone, who would we have? And why should we even trust you and your stories? You are human and make mistakes too, just like me and everyone else.

Answer 5

If any law was broken it would have been reported. Bishops are required by law and by church policy to report criminal behavior.

We live in a gray world where things are very rarely not black or white. It is almost never all one persons fault. Usually both parties contributed something to the problem. They may not have cause it, but the may have been able to prevent it. Recognizing weakness or error in oneself does not make the person any less the victim or justify the alleged perpetrator. If these women sinned in some way that put them in a vulnerable position or enabled these acts they are responsible to repent for their own sins. Their repentance has nothing to do with anyone else's behavior or punishment. If no law was broken, the repentance process of the alleged perpetrator is none of these women's business.

Everything you have been told regarding these incidents would be considered hearsay. Each story consists of only one point of view, which is likely biased. The story would likely be much different if there were multiple points of view and some verifiable facts.


As for masturbation, The LDS Church sees it as a serious sin that could eventually lead to other more serious sins including but not limited to homosexuality. The bishop probably told the boy something to that effect, but it is highly unlikely that the bishop specifically told the boy that he would become a homosexual if he didn't stop.

Answer 6

I have been in the church all my life (>50yrs.) and have never encountered such cases. Where such attacks occur, the perpetrators are dealt with harshly, turned over to the civil law and excommunicated from the church. Indeed, that is the policy of the church to turn over criminal behavior to the proper authorities. I don't know of any Bishops that would be that callous.
In fairness, if such an event did happen, the church would discipline the guilty parties in private rather than in public. That means that they would not publicize the punishment given or even publicize the accusations except where the regular media gets a line on it.
That means that such discipline could take place and the regular members, such as my self, may never hear of it.
I assure you that the church does take all such accusations seriously. I am also sure that if your sources are telling the truth, they have to be seriously the exception to the rule.

Answer 7

The Bishops are wrong and they should take the whole thing up with the Stake Presidency. If a woman is raped, she is the victim and should receive help. I hope they get the help that they so badly need and the men should be punished. I think castration would do it nicely.

Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I haven't heard about the masturbation thing. I think it is the Bishop's opinion.

Answer 8

Well I can give several examples of the exact opposite happening. The church does not condone such things. I won't say it has not happened, but I guarantee you do not have all the facts. Why do people listen to hearsay? I would be more willing to trust what you were saying if I didn't already know that you have bitter resentments against the church and you are looking for something to blame for the way you are. No matter what happens to us in life we still get to decide who we are. Try to find a healthy outlet for your frustration and resolve your conflicts. You will be happier if you do.

*edit* Actually you would have great reason to believe a lie, because it helps you feel better about the wrong choices you have made. I have seen many of your Q&A here. You have some serious biased resentments. You are very likely to believe anything to coincides with the way you already think. And I have been on both sides of the fence so I very much know what I am talking about.

Answer 9

It is said that both men and women take turns being in power in our world. The reason for that is so we can learn to use it wisely. That of course doesn't always happen, as power corrupts. And too often it is abused.
Men have been in power for some time, but have gone to the extreme. And there is nothing right in such things as you have mentioned. We are entering a time of balance. But if we only criticize and attack each other for past mistakes. We will only go to another extreme.

Answer 10

....I wasn't.

And I'm rather sick by the fact that you are perpetuating this lie. That's great. Now a girl that could be reading this, needing badly to talk to her ecclesiastical leaders will be afraid of being judged and persecuted, and not be able to do so! All because you have a chip on your shoulders!


So many...that is such bulls.hit. I have found much love and support from the church in such cases. And here in Charleston where it is so much bigger, there are more girls in my position, and none of them were emotionally abused by their bishops after confiding in them that they had been raped.

I am not saying that it could never possibly happen. But the fact that you make a an untrue generalization about Mormon bishops and apply it as standard for the entire faith is completely despicable to me.

That is sick and disgusting, and I hope you are proud of yourself, and all that that implies about a person who would say such a thing. Really.

Answer 11

I am a Mormon and have not experienced any of this. While I am not denying such a horrible thing can happen, you risk stereotyping an entire group by generalizing the behavior of a few.

It is not right. Such is deplorable and I know on fact that such behavior by the part of ministers and Mormon clergy is not condoned at all. Routine training goes out to Mormon bishops to support victims and hold to proper legal and local accountibility those who break the law, and to teach correct prinicples.

Please don't generalize to the whole, the behavior of a few.