What do I say to my bf to bring about a positive change; he is bi-polar and an alcoholic?

Question

He don't want to take his meds because he says he doesn't like the way it makes him feel. It takes away from his joking exciting attitude. I belive he drinks to self-medicate himself. When he drinks too much or the wrong drink he is violent and
get very paranoid. I am pregnant now and I don't want to lose my baby. I want us to be a family but if he doesn't begin to make some changes for his benifit then we won't be able to stay together. Everytime I say something about his drinking and his meds he say I did to look at myself. He also says it's my fault he acts the way he do when he drinks.

Answer 1

unfortunately, the only thing you can say to bring a positive change is
"honey, you better take your medications or i'll have to leave you because i cannot live under these conditions"
and follow through if he doesnt take them.

Answer 2

Personally myself? I have what they call 'Manic Bi Polar"...Its hard to find the right medication for anyone who is the same.
I had at one point, used drugs, and alcohol to just numb my erratic emotive state.

It sounds like he hasn't been put on the right medication(ive been there)..and is just not looking for a 2nd oppinion. Then has decided to treat himself.

It'd be a good idea to catch him in a happier mood swing(cause usually bi polar people dont have a calm, medium mood)...and Ask him if he'd be willing to get a 2nd oppinion, and possibly a better medication. If not? and there is no kids involved? I'd probably leave. Distructive paths people take, no matter the situation? is just that.

I hope this was more helpful than damaging.

Answer 3

I am bi polar, and I drink, A LOT. I understand how you must feel on the opposite end. But unlike him, I take my medicine and I feel great. If he is open to suggestions, tell him to try a new medicine. I am currently taking Lamictal and I still drink. I am not saying that he should do the same, that's up to him. But, you have to understand when someone is suffering from Bi Polar, when they drink, it takes it to a whole other level. He honestly, doesn't mean those things. If you really love him, support him as much as you can without bringing harm onto yourself. Be careful, and get him to see a doctor, please. Good luck, sweetie. I hope everything works out with your baby.

Answer 4

YA--hardship-unfastened, lots of alcoholics are bi-polar, 30% or greater,what meds are you on?---have you ever long gone to psychological wellness on your area? I cope with drug--and booze daily--your suicidal suggestions, if pronounced to any cop- or med professional--you would be taken away to the nut ward for 2-3 days. you will have no longer something to declare approximately it. @ this time drugs for manic --depressive people such as you're fairly doing wonders--bi-polar and manic depressive it the comparable element. simple--public wellness--any county--city--wellness care place will positioned you in the the desirable option course--keep in mind what i instructed you approximately suicide--it,s a final motel, purchase you will get interest and you gets it NOW. Congrats on your 5 yrs--you think of 5 yrs is a protracted time? If no longer -attempt spending that lots under water!!! you would be sturdy--a million day @ a time----step-a million

Answer 5

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This is not the answer you are looking for. You want a solution that includes staying together and it all working out. You want for your boyfriend to become something he can't right now, and be a father and a supportive partner.

You need to know, that that is NOT going to happen. He has told you so already, this is not a man that is going to change for anyone, not even his unborn child.

What you need the most, is to be able to see your situation as somthing other than an impossible situation. You need to know, that this is not a hopeless situation. That there are people around you, though invisible to you now, that care, about you and your unborn baby.

The hardest thing for you, is going to be to know that you are looking in the wrong direction for a solution.

THE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT IN YOUR BOYFRIENDS BEHAIVOR, BUT IN YOURS.

You need to leave, the sooner the better.

Don't fall into the trap of feeling guilty for leaving.

Don't fall into the trap of worrying about your boyfriend.

Don't fall into the trap of worrying about how you will survive without him.

You want out of your hellish situation, you need to go. Get to a womans shelter, or to a church, or a family member.

If you leave and stay away, you can raise your child, and find help in raising your child.

If you stay, you will be throwing not just years of your life away, but your baby's as well.

Please, do not waste any more time out of fear of the unknown or fear of what is right and wrong in this situation. Go!!!

Answer 6

You can't cause him to change, unfortunately. He has to want to change, and find a doctor/psychologist who will help him find a medication he can tolerate, so he won't feel the need to self-medicate with alcohol. He might need AA, too.

He is the only one who is responsible for his behavior, and he shouldn't be blaming you for his drinking problem.

Do what's best for you and your baby, and break up with this guy. If you think he might get violent when you leave, call an organization that will help you create an escape plan. You deserve a man who treats you better.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Please look to your safety and that of your child. You have a boyfriend who is bi-polar and refuses to take his medication, and who is an alcoholic who gets violent, and who will not take responsibility for HIS ACTIONS.
Truly the only way you can help him is to leave him. That is the only way to make him wake up to what he is doing to you, and to himself. Until HE realizes that he will loose everything unless he gets himself back on track - on medication and off the booze - he will NOT get help. You cannot fix him, he must want it for himself. And until he does, you must protect yourself and his baby. As hard as it may be, you do have to be cruel to be kind, and if you love him, you will want him to be the best person, the best father, he can be - and this is not it.

Answer 8

Look after your future, 'cos noone else can without you making proper decisions. Him especially. You made a bad decision getting pregnant to an unstable man who diagnoses and medicates with alcohol. You cannot stabilise that way. Bi-polar is no excuse for ruining yours and your baby's future. Read the Razz's answer. He the man with the knowlege

Answer 9

If he won't take his meds, you need to say good-bye. You say he self medicates by drinking. Then he becomes violent. You want to subject your child to this? Get out now while you can. Sorry I know thats not what you want to hear, but for the sake of the child and yours, get out.

Answer 10

Tough Love and Prayer is the only solution. Ask him to leave the house. If that is impossible, you should leave. Join the sister organization of AA, the one that provides help for those who are related to the alcoholic. Do it because you need a support group.

Answer 11

If he is blaming you for his problems and/or actions then he is abusive... aside from the fact that he is an alcoholic and bipolar he is downright abusive.... Violent=You being fearful for yourself and your unborn child.... that is abuse. I would leave. He won't change unless he wants to and you know as well as I do that he doesn't. Get away from him. There are plenty of nice men out there that would provide a better home and father-child relationship for your baby. I promise you!