How do you be stong and hold it together ?

Question

Hi a bit of advice, my husbands grandad passed away yesteday and his funeral is on Monday, the thing is my nana recently passed away too and I was ok with it (well not ok but you know what I mean) and then as soon as ''Youll never walk alone'' started playing I started sobbing my heart out and seeing everone else upset and crying which is obviously what happens. but this same song is being played at his grandad funeral how do I hold it together, as I dont neccesealy cry quietly and end up a quivering wreck, How can I be strong, I cry if any body crys
. Please help

Hi Im not ashamed to cry and i dont cry just because everyone else does what I mean is if I feel what they are going through instead of trying to be stong I just cry along and end up worse than that person. I will obviously cry as its a funeral and his grandad was wonderful and it makes it even harder for everyone, I just want to be suportive toward my husband and look after him when he is upset and not the other way round. In a away, Oh god I dont know what I am on about just panicking thats all,

Answer 1

I don't think you should worry about crying and expressing your grief; it's perfectly natural. My poor old dad died in December 2003 and his funeral was on Christmas Eve. I was fine until the last song, "I did it my way" by Frank Sinatra and then I just couldn't help but sob. Take care and good luck.

Answer 2

Don't hold back, sometimes you have to get the emotions out. Maybe the reason why you find yourself crying so easily is because you are just an emotional person who knows how to be empathetic and express your sensitivity to ones who need the support. I think that you being able to express emotion towards an event like that just shows you are a caring person, regardless if you will be thinking about your grandmother when you hear the song. I think that you should let it out, although they say, don't cry because they are in a better place and not suffering anymore. It's something that is expected from people and it is not something that you can easily just hold in. Cry and get all of your emotions and grief out, this will be the best time. Even the stuff that has been pressuring you, you can get out without feeling so guilty. Don't feel bad.

Answer 3

It's a funeral. You probably will cry. Just act accordingly. If you start to make a scene, quietly slip out and pull yourself together in the bathroom. Plan ahead by sitting the near the rear exit so as to not make a scene if you have to leave.

I was actually just thinking about how important funerals are. It's one of the only times that people really feel like they can talk about the death and illness (if applicable) of the person. Before and afterwards, people are very uncomfortable with it, but they really do talk honestly and openly at the funeral and reception. It's sad, and it's difficult, but it's part of the process.

Sorry to hear about your losses...

Answer 4

Nothing wrong with letting go.Everyone there will be doing it.Now if you are saying this for your husbands sake.Dont.I would not want my wife holding it in.I would grab her and cry together.
All the sadness that is at a funeral would make anyone cry.I dont think your husband will be mad if you cry.Just try not to make a scene when you do it.Be there for him to have a shoulder.That is what he is looking for.Be his crying buddy so to speak.Just dont cause a scene.That will probably lead to some hard feelings.But crying is fine.A healthy way of showing how much you care for his family and him.

Answer 5

Well this will sound mean but dont think about what is going on. Do your best to remember that you are strong and just concentrate on something else. Distract yourself from the funeral and your surroundings. Think about a movie, a show, anything to focus your attention elsewhere. If you think about it you will cry. Good luck, stay strong. Your husband needs you to be his rock right now.

Answer 6

Sorry for your losses, but crying is natural. Residue feelings from previous grieving will take a long time to heal. Advice: Cry at the funeral for your reasons and don't feel guilty. People attending prefer people mourning

Answer 7

Have you tried Back Flower Remedies? Find somewhere they are sold (health food shops etc, Boots) and read the little chart which goes with them to choose the one most relevant for you. Rescue remedy is good for all times when you are stressed and overwrought, but there are others more targeted to specific emotional states. Five drops on the tongue or in water as often as you need it works. Bush essences also work well. They aren't expensive, but they really work. I have several which I keep in the cupboard.

The other thing you can try is to watch your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths , and try to breath from your diapragm. When we are stressed, we often breath very shallowly and irregularly which affects the nervous system. There are yogic breathing techniques which are very good for calming the nervous system which you could try also.

Answer 8

ok well i do the same thing i cry when i see someone else crys and what i do is just think that if he was suffering for a while then it is good that he had passed away and you know that he is going to heaven to a good place.But if he just died suddenly then that is heart renching and i just think the same thing and he will be going to heaven because god wanted him there for a reason and that happened to my uncle he died of no reason and i new that god wanted him up there!!I hope this helps you i realy do !!!

Answer 9

i know what you mean, i wear my emotions on my sleeve too. but if you can't cry at a funeral, when can you cry? being strong for your husband isn't not crying, it's being there for him and with him, which you will be. don't try to fight it, if you need to cry, cry. your husband knows you loved his granddad too and what better way to support your husband than to cry with him at the loss of someone important to you both. that's real sharing. diane.

Answer 10

Hold it together the best you are able to & if you hear the song begin slip away to the restroom. Even run the water if you have to so to drown out the sad song playing. It seems silly maybe but it could be just the distraction you need.