my brother and his girlfriend are getting married soon, but they're going to the virgin islands to get married. its not enough that she's mean to me and hates me (im only 16 and she's 21) but she said im not allowed to come down to the wedding, and my family didnt say anything!!!!!! THIS IS SO SCREWED UP. i need advice. should i just ignore my brother and his girlfriend and my family, since they dont give a crap. so much other stuff has happened with her and i know my family likes her more.im they're daughter and my brothers sister!! you'd think they'd show more of a concern....i need lots of advice pleeeeeeease.
2007-11-21 05:58:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
and if theres unclarity, i heard it was there and i was like oh thats gonna be so beautiful!! and then she said well your not coming, and i said why not, and she said becuase she doesnt think i'll have fun, but my cousin who is 14 gets to go, and she's not even in the wedding. its my brothers wedding in the virgin islands, why wouldn't i have fun? maybe i wouldnt be so upset but there are like 4 random ppl from my brothers work going and im not? it just seems weird to me. there isnt a good reason and even if she seems concerned i wont like it, why cant i go? its his wedding too.
2007-11-21 06:44:43 · update #1
How hurtful for you, that she needs to compete with you for your place in the family. Please understand that she is totally insecure, that she cannot stand that your family treated you better than hers probably treated her, she is jealous that your brother actually likes having his kid sister in his life, and you are young still with your whole life ahead of you-she will be a married old woman soon!
You are right, it is very screwed up! However, please know that it is only temporary!! Your family is probably caving into her demands due to the wedding, your brother is probably spineless when it comes to her little tantrums, and she has probably already threatened him and your parents about what life will be like in the future if she doesn't get her way.
Get your brother a trinket of some kind, something from your shared childhood that maybe he would enjoy that would remind him of your sibling bond. Wrap it up, and find a really gushy mushy card from a sister to brother wedding card. Sign the bottom: " I love you very much. I will always regret that I won't have any memories of your happiness when you married. I hope your day is special, and I am sorry that I have to miss it-I wouldn't for the world if I had my choice." And then, give him the gift, between just the two of you. Take him aside and say "I have something I wanted you to have" and when he opens it, as he is reading the card say "Wish I could have given it to you on your wedding day, but, well, you know." Hug him, and tell him you want nothing but the best for him.
Sounds crazy, but, love him in spite of his lack of concern for you. Pray for him, his little shrew wife is going to shred him to pieces in a few years!! And when their divorce is final, you'll probably be the maid of honor at his next wedding, because anyone like that doesn't have what it takes to keep a relationship together-a heart!
Try to find a place of forgiveness for your family. They are cowards, but don't let that distort how you see your self, or the fact that you are important-even if they don't make you feel like it-you need to know it for yourself!
2007-11-21 06:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Daisy 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I know it probably seems like it to you, but there is no way your family loves this girl more than you. Yes they are wrong for not taking you to this wedding.....do they know how hurt you are about it? Maybe they know that you dont like her and think that you really wouldnt want to go. They might be suprised that to hear how you are feeling. Or maybe they are worried you might do something to spoil the day if you have been obvious about your feelings in the past.........The thing to do here is to be the bigger person. Take your brother and parents aside, she doesnt need to be there. Tell them exactly how you are feeling. Stay calm and rational, be adult here. Tell them how dearly you want to go, that he is your brother and this is hurting you......then see what they have to say.....turn on the waterworks if you have to, just see if you can melt their hearts so you can go along. They need to realise how hurtful and thoughtless they have been. Good luck with it.
2007-11-21 06:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your parents and your brother (minus the bride) and get the full story. Don't whine- it's not fair, I want to go to the Virgin Islands. Explain that you are deeply hurt and offended that you are not invited, nor welcome at your brother's wedding. You feel that this is a family event and you are being excluded from the family and you don't understand why.
2007-11-21 06:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is bacyard breeding at its very worst. The Stafford could have had a comfortable whelping container set up in a quiet room interior the abode the place the different canines weren't allowed to circulate. particularly she had her puppies on my own and unassisted exterior interior the backyard, under the abode, no much less! No different canines could ever be allowed close to a new child muddle different than the mummy of the muddle. a youthful mom is perchance to consume the puppies to avert different canines from attending to them. you have been very fortunate on your previous back backyard breedings that there have been no matters having the canines around the mummy and muddle. you do not understand which canines ate the puppies. it could have been the Stafford. Many dams who're bred too youthful will consume their puppies by using fact the maternal instinct hasn't yet kicked in. Why are you blaming the Mastiff in case you have not have been given any concept what befell or which canines did what. If there are any puppies left alive under the abode..and in case you pay interest you will hear them crying. If that happens and that i've got been you i might pull up the floor boards and get any ultimate puppies interior the abode with the mummy the place the different canines CANT GET TO THEM. in case you hear no puppy crying there are no stay puppies. Please supply up back backyard breeding and spay and neuter your canines.
2016-10-02 03:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by meadors 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Yeah, this girl sounds like she needs to be set straight on a couple of things.
First thing's first, talk to your brother while Bridezilla isn't around. Be very calm about it. Don't get angry. Just simply ask why she insists that you're not invited and ask for his opinion on it. Let him explain himself and don't interupt him (I'm not saying you WOULD interupt, but just in case he says something you may not agree with). When he gets his side out, let him know how you feel and how hurt you are. If he decides he doesn't want to talk about it, you have two options: (A.) Command his attention by turning off any distractions (TVs, radios, etc.) and explaining how you feel without letting him tell his side first, or (B.) Talk to your parents about the situation.
Now, if your brother's fiance is constantly at his side, simply ask HIM if you can speak with him privately. If SHE butts in, let her know it's a private conversation. If she argues, talk about the situation in front of her and don't let her have a say at all.
To be perfectly honest, this person sounds horrible. I'm 21 and I'd NEVER act that way. Especially not to my boyfriend's family! You're a better woman than I am because by now I'd have given her my best right hook! Good luck!
EDIT: After reading your additional details, you definitely need to have a talk with your brother and/or parents ASAP!!
2007-11-21 06:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't let it get to you...and sorry if it sounds mean, but it seems that you are forgetting that this is so not about you.
You should be happy for your brother....and The reason you may not be asked to come to the wedding is for a reason as simple as cost, and not malice. Anything you say or do to protest at this point, will be seen as immature and/or jealousy...It's not worth it....
Wish your brother well....welcome your new sister in law....and move on with your life...
Your wedding day will come and then you can choose who can attend and for what reason.
2007-11-21 06:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mommacat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you know why she doesn't want you to come?
It might be too expensive to have a lot of people there. The hotel/resort/whatever where they are having the wedding might not want or allow underage people there. Maybe they just want an adults only ceremony/reception.
Talk to her and your family and explain that you're hurt by this decision, that you would like to go, and you want to know why. Be mature and calm about it. If you get whiny or throw a fit, then it will only make them not want you there.
Overall, wish them a good time and be an adult about it.
2007-11-21 06:09:47 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you should speak to your parents about it. If you are sixteen wouldn't your parents be paying for your part of the trip??? So if they are the ones paying then you should say hey mom/dad am I going to the wedding??? And if your brother and his new future wife are the ones supposed to be paying your part, pull your brother asside, and strait out ask him, hey bro aren't I going to your wedding??? That would be the best way. His future wife may just be acting cruel to you, wich sucks, I wouldn't want that either. Good luck hon.
2007-11-21 07:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would express your feelings to your parents. There may be another reason you're not allowed to come. They can help you understand that, or they can talk to the bride-to-be.
Once you've talked to them, have a face-to-face with your brother. It doesn't have to be emotional, or even an argument. Just express that you're feelings are hurt, and why.
After this, I wouldn't address the topic further. That way you're the bigger person. Whether or not your like the bride, it's also your brother's wedding and you should respect that.
2007-11-21 06:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Have you talk to your brother about the way things are between you and his girlfriend did she say this to you in front of the family maybe you should talk to your family and brother about how you feel they feel about you WOW GOOD LUCK girl this all could just be miss communication I hope for your sake just take it easy and ask them calmly ...LOL it will get better
2007-11-21 06:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by just bored 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋