My first love is a very good guy, lots of qualities, so good looking, so smart, but oh, so cold to me. He said that he's cold because he doesn't want me to get bored of him. Yes, he was happy to be with me, but his coldness hurt. And so, i later found another guy, that was very caring, understanding, very loving, and so wise and kind to me. He wants to marry and have alot of kids. The perfect family guy, and very loyal. Now when i decided that i would like to marry him, my first love comes and says that he loves me very much, and wants to marry me too. He's not cold to me anymore either. What to do, i like them both, they complete eachother in a way. What would be the wisest choice? I would like to have a guy to love and to feel always loved. The indifference hurts me a lot.
2007-11-21 05:01:30 · 17 answers · asked by Thora S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm sorry i didn't mention this before: neither of them know that i have to choose between 2 marriage proposals, because my first love just moved in same city as me, and i have not announced the engagement yet. he was not even knowing that i have a boy friend :)
2007-11-21 05:05:35 · update #1
sorry for asking again, i'm new here on yahoo answers and i mixed up things a bit
2007-11-21 05:07:11 · update #2
and thank you very very much for all the answers given before, it really helped :)
2007-11-21 05:08:54 · update #3
and i'm not dating or doing anything with my ex! :) but, thank you for all the answers :) i do appreciate a kind person next to me, and i could never be happy without him. well, i think that the ex just startled me a bit with his immediate proposal, it's was just too all of a sudden, even if we dated long back before
2007-11-21 05:35:03 · update #4
YES, YOU PEOPLE ARE KINDA... TOO RIGHT :)
2007-11-21 05:50:08 · update #5
I would go with the kind person....once the cold one gets you back, I wonder how long it would take for him to become cold again.....I dont think it would be long. He sounds like he takes you for granted.
With the warm hearted man you will have many happy times, lots of love and children....I would choose him.
Good luck
2007-11-21 06:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say marry the guy who was always kind to you. As others have said, your "first love" is quite likely to go back to his old ways once he has you.
However, the fact that you're torn makes me wonder if you ARE a bit bored with the "nice guy". That's the perversity of human beings; we can never have perfect security along with great excitement, because the two don't really mix. The "kindest person in the world" may not be the most exciting, but the most exciting is not going to be the most kind. You have to do some soul-searching before you marry, and figure out whether you're really prepared to settle down and - yes - give up some of the thrills of dating. If not, do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and tell him you're not ready.
2007-11-21 05:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very FACT that you are undecided makes it very obvious that you should not get married yet. When your heart has no doubts, that is the only time to accept a marriage proposal!! You need to say "No, not right now" to BOTH men, being honest and telling both of them that you are seeing someone else and that you can not make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. Any guy who dumps you when he finds out, isn't a true love. Any guy who says he understands and appreciates you and will wait for you is a "keeper". If you lose both of them, they were not right . Don't rush into a marriage for any reason. Ask for six months minimum.
2007-11-21 05:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't marry the kindest person in the world because that's me. I can however help you with your problem. Dump the first guy by being cold and indifferent to him. Do this as he did to you and make sure he knows you want nothing to do with him ever. He had his chance and didn't appreciate you. The second guy has given you no reason to leave him or dump him to go back to your idiot ex boyfriend. If the first guy was an %&*&*(^*( hole before, you can expect and bet your house he will be again......
2007-11-21 05:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by aswkingfish 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you need to do some serious soul searching; and see what your heart tells you.You need to get paper and pen no; and make a list ; and make all the pro;s and con;s of the first; and then do it for the second one.Marrying someone is serious business; and if your not ready; you can always say ; you need more time.I don;t think i; would want to marry some cold man though; unless he;s just gotten in bed.A cold heart is ; not easily warmed.,.
2007-11-21 05:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The wisest choice is to not marry either of them. The very fact that you are so torn shows you aren't ready for that kind of commitment with these guys. When the time is right and the person is right there will be no question of who to choose.
2007-11-21 05:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow that sucks.I would really think about the ex before getting involved again.Is he really opening up because thats how he is now, or is he jealous that some other guy got a good thing?Dont let looks influence you and if you decide to pick the better guy, the new one--dont let the ex call, write, or email.
2007-11-21 05:09:10 · answer #7 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the first guy has a lot of growing up to do if he is playing games like that so you won't get tired of him. But, of course, if you have to ask which one you should pick, then you shouldn't marry either one because if you aren't 100% sure about the person, you shouldn't be getting married.
2007-11-21 05:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is so easy for everyone to say "Dont marry either of them... you obviously arent ready.. BLAH BLAH BLAH" we all do this we always give unrealistic advice. Honey... You obviously are going to pick one of them instead of neither... correct?
Here is my thought... Marry the second man. He loves you the way you are, and for whatever happends in your relationship he will love you the same. A true devine love.... the other guy, Guy #1, stay away from him. if he has to "ACT COLD" to Spice things up.... then you dont want anything to do with him. he is an actor. you dont want someone to ACT the way YOU want them tooo, trust me they wont be able to keep playing that game forever.
Stick with the second guy NOT guy #1, he is just lonely and missing something that he took forgranted. Guy #2 loves you and did from day 1 till the last day you live...
2007-11-21 05:15:27 · answer #9 · answered by Tea 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would stick with new guy. Because your first love might be cool with you now. Meaning he's not being cold now because he knows you have someone else. I would stick with the second guy. You deserve to be treated like a queen. And if some asshole man think that loving a woman by being cold to her is wrong. It's abuse and no one deserves that. Follow your heart.
2007-11-21 05:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by sexycute32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋