We have been close, but he isn't ready for a relationship, says he just loves me as a friend. He knows I love him. He is in touch with me every single day (we are long distance) and shows me care everyday, which sometimes throws me off too, thinking, he must surely love me, but just doesn't say it that he loves me.
So I don't know what to focus on:
1. Be a platonic friend to him (maybe this will reduce pressure on him, and withdraw all those loving words & actions which are usually said and done between couples)
2. Be myself and be more than a friend to him even if he doesn't reciprocate likewise.
I definitely want to win his heart.
2007-11-21 04:42:01 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've learned over the years with my many, many, many, many failed relationships that the best thing to do is lay off. We girls have a tendency to over-think, over-dramatize and push. With most men, the more you push, the faster they run.
I'm married now, but in the beginning, I decided to not be pushy. I wanted to, but I have learned my lesson from 15 years of ruined relationships, lol. The more I pretended I didn't love him, the more he loved me. The more chilled out and relaxed I was, the more he desired me. The more unavailable I was, the more he chased me. If it hadn't been meant to be, then he wouldn't have bothered to chase me, right? You can't force the situation.
I know how you feel, really, I do. But the more nutty you are, the more pressure you apply, the more he is going to decide that you aren't worth the effort. If he give you something (such as him telling you he loves you as a friend) and you take that but keep wanting more, then he's going to just drop you like a hot rock when he gets fed up with all the drama you are creating.
So, here's my advice. Be platonic. Be yourself. Don't make it a secret about how you feel about him, but tone it down. The more relaxed, friendly and calm you are, the more he will realize what a wonderful, beautiful person you are. What's wrong with being just friends for a while? My best friend was friends with her husband for six YEARS. Then, they realized that they loved each other and dated for a year before they fell into a physical relationship. They got married last summer and are expecting a baby in next summer! During the six years they were best friends, they both dated other people. I have never seen two people who are more happy! They are soul mates. The lesson to be learned there is that he might very well be your soul mate BUT that right now might not be the right time for either of you. When the right time and the right person come along, it will just happen!
2007-11-21 04:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to respect his wishes and just be his friend or run the risk of pushing him away. Maybe he does care and right now is not the right time, or maybe he really does think of you as just a friend. He is being honest and telling you how he feels in response to your declaration of love.
Unfortunately you have to move on. Don't wait around for him to "come to his senses". Go out and do something for YOU with someone who wants you. You deserve to respect yourself as well and you might just find that special someone instead of the "comfortable" someone.
2007-11-21 04:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by seafires1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
females look to generally situations get way too caught up in this monogamy concept; I mean rattling, the guy flirts with somebody else and on your techniques this might't be something different than him making a contrived attempt to get you jealous. what's this 'flirtatious' **** approximately? 'He has been like this to me for a plenty longer quantity of time..'. If he's been knocking at your door for a 'long quantity of time' and he remains on the flirtatious point, in line with probability he merely thinks that's time (like maximum classic adult males could) to pass to greater promising horizons. From the way it sounds it does not look to necessitate the top there is any malice on his area. i do no longer understand the comprehensive information, of direction. besides the undeniable fact that i do no longer see why a guy could pass by all this worry on something different than a important time cat-drama. Why could a guy (who curiously is decently beautiful if he has all this happening) in actual lifestyles perpetuate this comprehensive drama all based in point a million flirtation-- as unfavourable to easily determining on one among you (or another woman) and having intercourse? Darling, it does not make plenty experience.
2016-11-12 07:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by tamala 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are playing games and not being open and honest with him you will never win his heart. If he says he only wants to be friends then you must accept it and deal with it accordingly. If you continue to pursue him romantically, while he only wants a friendship, he will eventually stop being your friend either out of concern for hurting you or because you show no concern for his feelings to be just friends.
2007-11-21 04:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me share a secret with you. Every man is ready for a relationship. I don't care what he says he's been through. He is ready. He just isn't ready for you. Why do you want a man who doesn't want you? Stop putting your energies in to him and give your goods to a man who appreciates you. This man will never want you back. He's busy looking for someone else I can promise.
2007-11-21 04:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by Kyle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah! Well! I had a relationship like this...we broke up, even though he said he cared but with his actions I knew it was just sexually friendly....I was like you.....we went together for over 2 years....I finally found I was just one of many....the turd!
If it was today......22 yrs later..........we would still be JUST DATING.
Don't waste any more time on him. You can't make anyone else's choices for them.
Do you want his relationship to you be always 2nd or 3rd or 7th place??????????/
That's what your getting .........up to you to find this out if you really want to.........but then he might get you for STALKING.
2007-11-21 04:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by LandOfMisty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1
2007-11-21 04:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
>is this question for guys only..
>as for me what ever you say/show to him as long there is sincerity on your part OK fine go ahead.
>the problem lies on him...so he will decide on what kind of love does he show to you...
>love is unconditional so no expectation on his part...
>right time will come for him to choose...not you so relax
>and when time comes for you to decide to love him in a platonic way that will come in due time...
>so be happy as moment pass by...important is the present time...give love share that love with him freely.no pressure on his part...
>may the blessing be
2007-11-21 04:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by bonita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your needs in the relationship, you both want and go from there. If you want more then tell him you want more. No need to bet around the bush if that is what you want.
2007-11-21 04:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nr 2.
go with the flow
2007-11-21 04:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by gjmb1960 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋