How do I enjoy myself around someone who makes me miserable?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years now, and I have never hung out with his sister and had a pleasant time. She is 26 years old and SO spoiled, she is constantly bringing up his ex-girlfriends around me, comparing me to them. Cutting me down at any chance she can get, even saying things about my clothing and accessories. I have tried to ignore her, i've tried to have my boyfriend tell her how I feel, i've even said things to her parents, and it's to a point where her chances with me are UP. My and my boyfriend gave up going to Thanksgiving with my family because I didnt want to go see his family (in efforts to avoid HER) and when we made alternate plans, I got excited and now I found out last night she is going to be there. This is going to be my boyfriends aunts house so again I will not be in my element, and i'll feel forced to be kind to her. HOW DO I DEAL WITH SOMEONE WHO's MAIN focus is honestly to make me miserable... Especially on a holiday in someone elses home

Answer 1

You should try to ignore her and stay near other people...that way, if she insults you in front of them, they can tell her to shut up. And if they don't, next time invite boyfriend to your house.

Answer 2

It's time to rethink the relationship with your boyfriend. Since he obviously hasn't been able to convince his sister that you two are a couple and should be treated as such - and that you as a guest of the family should be offered respect, then maybe - he doesn't care about you as much as you think.

I'd break up over it. It's not worth the aggravation - especially since there are thousands of fish in the sea - who also happen to have very very nice relatives.

When he sees what he's lost, he may come to you begging you to return to him. That's when you can tell him how disappointed you are that he couldn't or wouldn't convince his sister to treat you civilly - if not nicely.

But don't get back together with him. He's a sap. Don't waste any more time with him or his nasty sister.

Answer 3

This is Thanksgiving, so you will want to be kind to her during this time to show respect for his aunts home. But when she says something, you should politely ask her to come outside so that you can talk to her. Then you tell her what she is doing to you. She may not realize that she is doing this. If she does, this will show her that you will no longer tolerate this behavior from her. Let her know how it makes you feel and how sick of it you are. Calmly tell her that you will not have it any longer and the next time she says anything of the sort, you will make a fool out of her in front of everyone. Never raise your voice during this time. Let her know that she thinks that she is all that when she is not anything at all and everyone knows it. Let her know that when she does this, she is only making a fool of herself bc it shows everyone that she is not confident about herself bc she has to try to bring others down in order to make her feel better about herself. She will deny all of this, but when she does, just calmly tell her that she can deny it all she wants and she will not realize that this is the case until she evaluates herself and her actions on her own, but it is VERY clear to everyone else that this is what she is doing. Then just say, "I know that you think you are all that, but you are not hitting on ****." or something similar, then turn your back on her and walk off. If she starts raising her voice during this, tell her to stop acting so childish and trying to get attention and act like an adult for change. Then finish what you have to say and walk off. Keep calm. This will show the family that you will stand up for what you believe in, you will respect their home, and you are able to handle situations in an adult manner all while getting to her as much as you can. It will make a fool out of her, which is what she needs. It may bring her down a notch, and that would be great. Then go on about your business as if nothing was said and nothing happened. Let her know that you do not have to dress like her to get attention and have people like you or want to be around you. Let her know that you are not that materialistic.

Answer 4

Take it from someone that has been through this . I speak to the person and keep it moving . For the rest of the day I would ignore her and focus on others in the room . Keep your mind focused on the festivities at hand after all it is Thanksgiving and why should you be fake about how you view her , but for the sake of ruining the day for others I would leave that nonsense at the door .

Enjoy Your Day & may it be merry .

Answer 5

Did you ever watch The Family Stone? You should see it! Sounds like you have the same problem Sarah Jessica Parker did!
Just say to yourself that you ARE better than her. You wouldn't be a jerk to your brother's girlfriend like that. She obviously has no manners or respect. I bet she is a little jealous of you right now taking all that time with her brother. Time will fix things. She can't be mean about it forever.

Answer 6

just ignore him or talk to him and tell him to stop making you miserable, tell him if he doesnt have anything nice to say than he shouldnt open his mouth or you will pop him in the face lol ;)