We're talking about in the absence of any promiscuous or suspicious behavior here. I had a significant other who demanded this of me and I thought that was too much, particularly since I was the choreographer for a large volunteer performance group and people knew I was always on the hunt for new dancers to feature front row or for the chorus. I was brought up that it is perfectly fine for your date to dance with others as long as they ask you first, or the person who is offering to dance (typically the man) asks you as their date, first. And as long as the first and last dance were saved for the one that brought you, it was O.K. to dance with others (to a limit, mind you, but not to the point they make it obvious they are more interested in everyone else). Well, my significant other thought these were ridiculous rules and she refused to allow me to dance with any other...and I thought that extreme. We eventually broke up over her controlling ways. But what are your rules here?
2007-11-21 01:15:24 · 8 answers · asked by John S. 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This was a social event of 700. I was 1 of 4 group leaders. My attendance was expected if I were to lead a group. My S.O. knew this but tried to establish dominance by eliminating any female that might dance with me. My S.O. was invited to dance and I would have put her front row. But she also feared better dancers so she ruled "You can't dance with ANYONE but me". This was not a romatic evening out to pay homage to her. I did that every week. This was a once a year event and the season lasted about 6 weeks as we recruited dancers and put together the show. Some dancers were veterans, others were new. The tradition had been going on since 1905. I let my S.O. scare away all my female friends and it crushed my heart seeing the looks on their faces..."You brought into this a total BEEYATCH who won't even embrace the fun of singles dancing together without being territorial with our best director." Needless to say, we broke up. And I never dated anyone I danced with. All pro.
2007-11-21 04:04:47 · update #1
Of course you can dance with others. It's just a dance! (now 5 or 6 with one person, she has a right to be jealous.) In my case my husband doesn't like to dance. At prom, I danced with all his single friends once. This gave him a break for like 10 dances, plus as his girlfriend I was showing that I cared about his friends as well, so that they weren't sitting out every other dance. I married him.
At my wedding, I danced with my father, my grandfather, my father-in-law, several cousins. Does your ex find that "different" b/c they are related? I also danced with the best man, who has been my husband's best friend for over 15 years and my best friend for over 10. I have a large number of guy friends who I dance with--we've been friends for over 10 years with no chemistry suddenly appearing. My exboyfriend was a dancer (just fabulous at it) and he and his sister would show off. I'd often end up passing him around to the older women who said "men just don't dance anymore".
I think a person who sets rules like You can't dance with other girls is just starting the controlling manipulative behavior. After that comes you can't talk on the phone, then you can't interact with anyone without discussing it with me first. That kind of jealousy ruins a relationship. Good thing you got out fast!
2007-11-21 01:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let my boyfriend dance with others, if I had a single friend who had nobody to dance with I'd give my fella a nudge and tell him to go and cheer her up, and he often does it with his friends. But if you are a dance teacher then really dancing with others is part of the deal! It was teribly unreasonable of her, you are quite right!
2007-11-21 08:21:56 · answer #2 · answered by floppity 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK wait a minute here.
You went to a dance to be with your SO. NOT to audition other dancers etc.
Your attention should have been on your SO - not other people.
If you are looking for dancers - you can advertise in the newspaper announcing auditions. Not when you're on a date.
I don't blame her for being upset. You were rude and selfish.
2007-11-21 01:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The question which you'll be asking is will you BF ever dedicate. seek for the procuring signs and warning signs...does he communicate appropriate to the destiny..a dn are you area of his plans. particularly circumstances somebody can bodily comit them selves with out emotionally commiting. i think of your BF has the suitable of all worlds... a stay in maid and cook dinner that he could have intercourse with. i might hit upon a place of my own...and anticipate him to get intense with you.
2016-10-17 14:53:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's right and it's their right to insist on that. You should not initiate a dance with anyone else. You should be dancing with your SO or not at all. It's certainly not a pleasant feeling to see your SO dancing with someone else, let alone with many other someone else.
2007-11-21 02:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your rules sound good - as long as you are just dancing and only on fast songs where there is no touching and rubbing involved
2007-11-21 02:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ccretlover39 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey your's sound fine I would not have been offended... as long as you made it clear that you wanted me not anyone else. So I agree with you.
2007-11-21 01:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by Christa K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...there's no reason why someone shouldn't be able to dance with others.
2007-11-21 06:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋