my boyfriend wants to work things out after he did wrong?

Question

My boyfriend and I haven't really been having problems, but he said he felt like I was pulling away and haven't been as close with him as usual...well he has never done anything that I'm aware of to betray me, but we were out a few days ago and we met up with 4 of his friends....well we were sitting at the bar and a few seats down there were a few girls, his friends were in between us and the girls...well he was very drunk and didn't realize I could hear and he said to his friend, keep my girl busy, then turns back around and starts talking to the girl on the other side of his friends, all I heard him say was "what are you drinking.." after that he turned and realized I saw the whole thing, he was drunk so he was bad at covering it up and said he was just asking what she was drinking.
Well now he says he knows what he did was wrong and he just felt that I was pulling away from him recently, and that maybe we can start fresh and its the first time something like this happened...

He says that he deserves a second chance and he knows he messed up, even though he knows it will take time to get things back to normal and trust him again. Problem is it has only been a few days but I don't know if I will be able to trust him again, now I think if he did that in front of me what is he doing when I'm not around??? My question is what is your advice for me and if you have ever taken someone back after they did something like this were you able to trust them again.

p.s. sorry this is so long lol

Answer 1

Actually, I dont blame you for being hesitant to take him back.

After all, you have to ask yourself what would happen if you werent there at all... how far he would have taken it because "you were pulling away"

NEVER, EVER let someone you're dating turn the tables and blame THEIR bad behavior on "you are pulling away". its called communication. And if he really gave a damn, he wouldnt be looking elsewhere, even shmoozing up to some girl about what she's drinking. he chose at that exact moment to not think about you.

If you need to explain things to him, so be it. But he only gets one chance - and its not one chance to mess up again, but one chance to prove to you that he gets it.

Otherwise, find someone who wont play games like this. YOu deserve better.

Answer 2

Well, you could give him ONE chance. Being drunk was no excuse for what he did though and if you are having trust issues that will be hard to get back. It does seem like he is straying though if he is pulling away from you and then flirting with another girl when you are there. This was the first time something like this happened, but it may not be the last time. If you do decide to start fresh, if anything like this happens again then break up with him.

Answer 3

well like you said if he did that in front of you what else does he do?? sometimes when you really love some one you give them 3 strikes if this is his first strike you should forgive that doesn't mean forget or immediately trust him right after but just to see what the next mistake will be.i mean he was drunk but then again the true emotions always come out when your drunk so don't trust him YET but maybe you could give him another chance but if i were you i would listen to ll cool featuring lyfe - freeze & realize that i could do better there will be others & possibly take a break because OUCH that hurts when your boo talks to another female

Answer 4

trust is a very fragile thing. it isn't your fault if you are not able to put your trust in him again. What I would do is that I would give him a second chance only after he has proven he is worthy of trust. How do i test? Though not foolproof, I would breakup with the guy and see where his loyalties lie. It's like a simple test of releasing your dog in the streets with very nice people whom your dog knows. The dog will come back to you eventually. If he loves you, he will come back. But it isn't really guaranteed that he will not do it again. It's up to your subjectivity. Good luck.

Answer 5

Jeez I have started to come up with a bunch of answers that were so totally opposite that I thought I SHOULD JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT so all I will say is follow your gut, but maybe question his alcohol consumption, does he always drink to excess? That might be a bigger problem

Answer 6

Wow! That was wrong for him to do that why? can't he ask the bartender or barkeeper what she having if he like same drink as her? and What this about "Keeping my girl busy"?
Ask him what you mean by that? What will happen next when you not around? that kind of Hard to answer.....maybe you need some time to think about it and move on(I don't mean break-up with him) I mean to think about it tell him to give you time to think.......good luck

Answer 7

let him sweat it out for a while if he moves on in a few weeks youll have your answer. he should not even look at another girl much less in your presence this guy is a jerk i have been married for 8 years never wanted to lust or cheat with another women but all my past relationships i did what my other brain told me to do. he is full of you know what find some one else to care for you

Answer 8

if u r really really love him, try to give him a second chances. But once the second he did not appreciated, then you should let him go. Sometimes, the trust is important. Once if u relaize ur trust to him is lost, then u should know what should do already.

Answer 9

aww i really feel for you...just try taking him back and see if things work out.if he does it again break up with him.i know its going to be hard but you will have to give him a second chance just to see if he really is faithful to you and remember guys have a low mentality than girls(no offence guys) so it may take him long to learn from his mistakes.please can you answer my questions xXx

Answer 10

i personally would not trust him.