would I allow my Bf to donate his kidney to his mom?

Question

My Bf is only 18 and will be migrating soon to California, the saddest news is he will be donating his kidney to his mom. at first i agree but what if he will suffered a lot on the operation, what if he will not make it?or what if his other kidney will be infected 10 years from now, i dont want to donate my kidney for him. im scared for him because he is too young. and i dont think my thoughts would change his mind....what do u think

Answer 1

I think that your boyfriend is considering the welfare of a loved one where you are only really thinking about the welfare of yourself, in that how his selfless actions will effect you. Surley the sadest news is that his mother is so ill she needs a transplant in the first place.

I doubt very much that you will change his mind and should support him through this very tough time. He's doing a very nobal thing, lot of respect to him. I would do the same for my mother and would not look for the permission of others to do it.

Answer 2

Think about this whole situation in another light...or at least try to.

What if it was YOUR Mother that needed a kidney and you were a match for her. Would you be so selfless as to donate one of your good kidneys to help keep her alive? Would you listen to your boyfriend if he said "I do not allow you to do this"?

I can understand your fears....but your boyfriend is not going into this blind. The doctor doing his Mother's surgery should have totally informed him of EVERYTHING that will and could take place. He knows the troubles that can arise, he knows the possibilities of the future and he will be schooled in the ways to eat and drink in order to get the best use of his remaining kidney for the rest of his life.

I think you should give serious thought to the fact that this man is doing such a selfless, loyal and loving act. This man is a person you should be looking at in a very different light than what you are right now. He is rare in today's world. Most would simply say screw Mom, I'm not risking anything for her.

He's 18, young and obviously healthy, or they wouldn't even consider doing such a serious thing as removing one kidney from him. This operation is done many times a day by numerous doctors all over the world. And even worse yet, 16 people die every day because they CAN'T get a kidney transplant.

He loves his Mom, is willing to move to aid her in what she obviously needs. He knows what he is stepping into with the surgery and continueing aftercare and healthy lifestyle he will need to maintain afterwards.

I do not think your thoughts will change his mind, since his decision has not been made in the blink of an eye.

I hope the surgery goes well and both him and his Mom come out doing fine. God bless them both.

Answer 3

I donated my kidney to my father and I would do it all over again. I was released from the hospital the next day after the surgery. It can be done laproscopically now so there isn't even a very large scar. The doctors told me that if I was going to get a kidney disease it usually hits both kidneys anyway so it wouldn't matter if I had one or two. I have had no side effects from having only one kidney. Of course it isn't advisable for me to play football or participate in karate but basically my life hasn't changed except I feel better about myself knowing I kept my father alive. I hope that you are really young and that is the reason you seem to be just thinking of yourself. Hopefully you can grow into a loving adult.

Answer 4

This is his decision. My grandmother donated her kidney to her sister when she was 12 and she is still alive to this day. (She is now 75). I assume his mother is important to him and without the kidney, she has more of a chance of dying than he does.

Answer 5

Would you LET him keep his own mother alive? What kind of question is that? I'm sure the doctors have informed him and his mom about any complications that may arise from the surgery and they are making the decision with all the facts available. If my mom needed anything from me she would get it! No matter what my GIRLFRIEND (not even wife) said about it. The fact that he is young will actually help him recover faster.

Answer 6

I couldn't just sit around and do nothing like my doctors suggested.

They didn't want me to do anything or to take herbs or herbal remedies, but I had to try something - they just wanted me to do dialysis!

This program allowed me to take control of my health. I went from Stage 4 to Stage 3 kidney disease.

It was easy to do and my BUN, creatinine and anemia are all in better ranges.

Reversing Your Kidney Disease?

Answer 7

Honestly? Your boyfriend is doing a wonderful thing and you should stay out of it. It seems a bit selfish to worry about your own needs when your boyfriend is so selfless. You should be proud to be his girlfriend! He'll be fine, but you need to grow up some!

Answer 8

It is HIS kidney you know. It's His life and His mother and his choice.

If you really love someone you support them unconditionally, not try to control them.

Be proud and caring and stop worrying about it.

Answer 9

I don't think that this is your decision to make. As long as he is fully informed, he can make his own decision. If this will cause a problem between the two of you, then perhaps you should examine your relationship.

Answer 10

hospitals perform such operations hundreds of times so quit worrying.
besides is young and can recover quickly and you have a spare kidney if he was to need it later

best regards

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