How can I most effectively handle this?

Question

My mother-in-law hit our car and there is about $1000 worth of damage. My father-in-law is dragging his feet paying us....he is saying "i'm not sure if I'm going through insurance or out-of-pocket." Basically he keeps flip-flopping back and forth.

I want to be fair to my wife because she is handling this, but I also want our car fixed. The accident happened almost 3 months ago and it is still not fixed, and he has not paid us. One other thing to add is they took on two mortgages....so they are a little tight right now...but really, that is a choice that he made...call me hard-hearted.

What can I do or say that is diplomatic that will get results, get the money for the repair, maintain my relationship with my wife, and move on with our lives.?

Answer 1

easy answer here.....

you know they are tight on money, and they are prob cheap too...

ask him to let his insurance pay..be warned..they may have a lapsed policy.....

this is your wif'e FAMILY...down the road, you may need them...things change.....

you cannot overly persue, or be aggressive on this...get the dam thing fixed out of pocket if neccasry....

view it like this...

in 10 years...will you have that car?

but you will have that wife (and hr family) and the car will not matter...people matter, not things....

Answer 2

I'm going to call you "divorced" if you remain hard hearted. Your father in law is telling you that he doesn't have the money. He's not putting it through his insurance because most likely, he's got a high deductible. But you knew that, you're just mad because your mother in law hit your car. Be a man about this, and stop embarrassing your father in law. Get your car fixed, and tell him to pay you when he has the money.

Answer 3

Listen to "Time2roof"s advice.
Get the car fixed as he said. And move on. Be the bigger person and understand they are strapped. Do not add another financial burden to them at this time.

Unless of course it had something to do with drug or alcohol use. In that case take the necessary action of addressing that issue and offering to help, to circumvent any further possible damages.
As others have said, going through your insurance is a possibility, but do not do so without a heads up to your in-laws.
This can be stated calmly.
"Hey pop (or whatever you call him) I have decided it might be best for me to go ahead and go through my insurance. Let's work on this together to resolve this and tell me what I can do to help you make a decision that is in the best interest of all."
Then never, never, never hold this against them.

Answer 4

Talk to your wife about it, explain to her that you understand that the situation is awkward as they are her parents BUT.......

it is three months down the line now, they do have insurance and I think they should make use of it. Explain to your wife that when a vehicle has been damaged it needs to be repaired as the structural integrity of the vehicle may have been altered and in the event of another accident the crumple zones in the vehicle may not behave as they should. It is dangerous to be driving a car that although my only have minimal damage, you do not know what has happened beneath the surface.

Good Luck, I know it's a tricky one but it has been three months!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

They are morally and financially responsible for this repair. If they want to go thru their insurance or pay out of pocket is moot, and not your concern. I had a similar thing happen to me. Simply go thru your insurance company ( if you have full coverage, that is) and they will handle all of the details. Just like any other claim. They will be the ones to send a letter to the "offending" party and request remittance. That way it takes it out of your hands, and puts it into a purely "business" arena. That way, you can have your repairs made, and the other party can decide to pay your insurance company any way they like.

Answer 6

Well it's already been three months it's time for you or your wife to speak up and ask him what he is going to do about it.Even though they are family they still have responsibilities.If it were a stranger it wouldn't have taken this long to get it figured out.Sounds to me like he is tryimg to get out of paying for his damages.If you have to take him to small claims court.It may cause problems in the family but it needs to get resolved.

Answer 7

If your car is insured, turn the accident in to them and let them go after your M-I-L. If not, take your car to auto body shops, get estimates and pick the one you want. And have the bill sent to your M-I-L. She needs to take responsibility for what she did.

Answer 8

You should have put it through your insurance as soon as it happend! now they probably will only except the claim if you explain the circumstances. This is the only way you will get a result! Have a great day.

Answer 9

well you have been patient enough to wait so now it;'s time to get a little bit heavy on the MIL...tell her that you have waited long enough and now it's time for them to pay up and get the car fixed, failing that, take her to court, it's the only way to get things done, i know your wife is in a sticky situation but it's not her problem, it's the MIL's problem....take a stand and demand it gets fixed NOW....don't be too soft with them because if it were you who'd pranged their car i am sure they would not wait to have it fixed....

Answer 10

A THOUSAND DOLLARS IS A LOT OF MONEY, BUT ITS NOT WORTH WHAT THIS COULD LEAD TO.GIVE THIS TO GOD AND LET HIM DEAL WITH YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW.YOU WILL BE BLESSED.SOMETHING THAT OFTEN GOES UNSEEN IS THE "FINE PRINT" IN THESE SITUATIONS


THE FINE PRINT: let your wife know that she is doing her best, and that is fine with you, she must feel terrible guilty here, you will be your wife's hero in this situation if you handle it right, what will that be worth in the future?