I've been with my partner for almost five years - at first it was incredible - the attention and intensity was great. This lasted well over two years. He has become secretive about his mobile phone - switiches it off when we're together of late. In fact the last time I stayed at hs place he actually hid his phone. I would not go into his phone but I did once early in the relationship (I am ashamed to admit but I did tell him and apologised) where he had messages from his ex girlfriend (who is now married). I know that he has many women that like him but I'm not sure if he's flirting with them or not. Is SMS cheating? We don't make love me anymore yet tells me he loves me. He's not well and hasn't been for a while now. However he still drinks and goes out with his buddies (which I have no problem with by the way) but I'm not allowed to have a glass of wine by myself without him. He blusters when I try to discuss things with him. All I would like is some honesty. Too much to ask?
2007-11-20 22:24:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No and it may not be enough to ask if he isn't truthful.
You have (at the worst) some signs of cheating and at best some signs of a hidden secret.
Trust your gut on this, if it feels wrong, it's likely is. You have to then choose whether to go to him with your suspicions or to wait until you have proof and then CONFRONT rather than gently discuss.
But what bothers me (and I think you too) is that his rules are different for you than him. Have you asked why?
And he does sound somewhat controlling. Is there more you are worried about? Even small threats, a push or shove, questioning you about your time away from him?
My grandmother always said that the guy who is always looking under the bed for a man, has probably spent some time there himself...
Something to think about.
2007-11-20 22:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try to look for a new partner . I have you problem before I just got seperated with mine gal too. She too lock her phone when the last time she found out I check her phone . I am ashamed to have admit I have do . He did have affair with others . Try to forget him if can . He who cheat will always love you . And when things happen it is you who are wrong , know why because you love him more than you will always think you are wrong . So it is better that you leave him , I know it is pain too . Cos mine we been together for 3 years at last it is I am the one who is wrong cause she love the married guy more than me .
So what u think of my experience for you . I sill think a lot of her but her behaviour is cold to me till now.
2007-11-20 22:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by Bren C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty and communication are very important in a relationship.
Sit down with him. Tell him you want a pow pow. Tell him how you feel and why you feel that way.
It sounds like he wants to have control since he really doesn't have control of his illness. He thinks he can be happy with going out drinking with his buddies. Tell him that you feel hurt by him hiding things and "not letting you drink a glass of wine by yourself" He cannot control what you drink as well as you cannot control him. That is absurd. Those are excuses he is giving.
Be honest with him. Tell him what you would like to see in your relationship. Tell him that if it keeps up, you would have a hard time staying with him.
Each person has to make the "Magic" come alive. Think of ways you know would surprise him, in good ways. Leave little notes around the house. Send flowers to him, etc....
Best wishes to you.
2007-11-20 22:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With this man at this time, yes, it appears to be too much to ask.
I m thoroughly puzzled about the solitary glass of wine bit. Surely you don't feel compelled to obey?
Your relationship has now been unrewarding for a longer period than it was great...
2007-11-20 22:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's having a lot of problems, and I wonder if the reason he's hiding his phone has something to do with those problems rather than texting old gfs. That might also explain why he doesn't want you drinking, because he might think he has a problem with drinking now.
Could you help me with my question please??
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Arz8gEtFr2j1_RNnQ.arJXHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071121032014AAxprBj
2007-11-20 22:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Jane T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a relationship that has gone cold
2007-11-20 22:28:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating.
2007-11-20 22:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋