Twenty things to prove you are drunk…
1. I have absolutely no idea where my wallet is. (Or pants... but that's a long story).
2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt wiggling while yelling woo-hoo is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decide I want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The person I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the button's open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the washroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
2007-11-20 21:10:56 · 11 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Me drunk? I used to be a bartender, but I quit smoking and drinking many, many years ago, it is going to say on my tombstone that I died from boredom!
2007-11-20 21:41:37 · update #1
Thats me all the time... so when do I sober up??? lol
2007-11-20 21:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by sammy jo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-11-20 22:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious...
2007-11-20 21:47:48 · answer #3 · answered by Parth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2, 12, 18 are so me when I 'm drunk...oh yeah and I just can't stop talking...
2007-11-20 21:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by Kathleen M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats what i call a friday night
2007-11-20 23:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol,10/10, very funny indeed.
I bet you're drunk every day,aren't you jake?.....haha.
2007-11-20 21:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lordy, I think i could relate to a few...:)
2007-11-20 22:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by charlesdclimer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is real joke very funny and nice..
2007-11-20 21:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me? Drnuk? No wya!!!
2007-11-20 21:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by bugi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL!! those are so funny and true. thanks for the laugh. I really needed it.
2007-11-20 22:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by renamed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋