How do you be a listener when she isn't a talker?

Question

There are so many dating help-books that tell you that you should be a listener and not a talker, i.e. you should listen more and talk less. Well, how do you do that when the girl you are dating (or trying to date) is a shy silent type who doesn't talk much? For such a girl, what should I do?

Answer 1

date someone else that talks. it would be borring to date someone that doesnt talk

Answer 2

well, u can be the talker,then.....some girls prefer to listen, but watch out, don't brag too much about yourself or she may get bored.....find some activities which both of u enjoy, like going for a movie, after that, u would have a common topic to talk... :) good luck!!

Answer 3

well you know how the see-saw thing works right? it takes two sometimes in order for you to get it do what what YOU want you have to do what IT wants...if that makes any sense....

reverse psychology in other words... why dont YOU do the talkin sometimes shy people dont like doin ALL the talkin especially at first so you talk.... but dont be like chatterbox just open up and then ask her what she thinks...

Answer 4

Then this is the right time to talk more and listen less because if both of you didn't talk then your date will be nonsense.

Answer 5

learn sign language,


write her a good ole fashioned letter.....on paper. After she reads it(provided you can structure it properly) she will be impressed with your effort, also its a great way to let her get to know how you think, and feel about things and she will learn a great deal about you. She might even write you back.



dont email her though, thats just to easy.

Answer 6

well im a shy girl most the time in person or on the phone but try emailing her, thats how my bf got to know me. so you might want to try it,

Answer 7

Ask open ended questions. For example: Instead of asking Do you like candy? (She could just reply "No"), You ask "What kinds of candy do you like?" ( that one opens her up to a discussion.)