she is not welcome in our house. so the holidays and grand childern are going to be a problem
2007-11-20 18:03:28 · 10 answers · asked by lily m 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The way I see this is being able to be around the grandchildren is worth way more than $3000. I would go ahead and let her in your house but keep your valuables locked up in a secret place she cant get to and you can also invest in an alarm that goes off when its opened. Also have someone always keep an eye on her when shes there. Dont keep medicines in the bathroom cabinet either.
Is banning her really worth losing a relationship with your grandchildren?
2007-11-20 18:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are in a difficult situation. I would not protest that much to your son about this girl, as it will only make him grow closer to her. Just sit tight and bite your lip and if he marries her go to the wedding and wait for the divorce..as it won't last a year. If she is a thief and a liar, she will be the same with him and when he finds out, the marriage will be over. Some people have to learn the hard way. Our son married a girl that was a liar, a user and just evil, but he married her anyway. It was over in four months as he caught her with another man. So ends that story. Now he is married to a wonderful girl and he has a 9 month old daughter and is so happy with his wife and child..so sometimes people have to learn the the hard way. Just support him if he needs you and never close the door to your son. Always keep the lines of communication open. I assure you that this marriage will not last.
2007-11-24 20:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easiest thing you can do is not have her in your home . . . at least until you feel she has changed and deserves a bit more trust.
So . . . host a rehearsal dinner, but not in your home. Have it at a restaurant.
You can also host holiday dinners at restaurants.
Take son and his bride to Sunday dinners at restaurants, or go to sporting events or plays or movies with them. See them, but not necessarily at YOUR home. Go to their home, if you are welcome there. It is very easy to say, "Meet us at the movie theater or the coffee shop. Our treat."
You can take grandchildren to the park, to a movie, to McDonald's, to Disney World, to the public library. Remember that you do have some options.
Protect your valuables. Expensive jewelry can be kept in a safe deposit box at the bank. Don't leave large amounts of cash around your home. Put it in the bank. If you feel you must have something extra around, buy American Express travelers cheques. If travelers cheques are lost or stolen, they can be replaced. Just call American Express immediately.
Use caution and common sense when it comes to your valuables. And no, you don't have to trust this girl . . . but you do have to be civil to her . . . as you would to any acquaintance.
Just a few questions . . . if you know this girl took the $3000, why didn't you call the police and press charges? Did she repay the money? If she did not repay the money, why did you let her get away with it? Is there a chance that someone else (maybe not her) took the money?
If you had called the police about the theft, what are the chances she would be becoming your daughter-in-law now? Do you suspect that possibly a family member was involved in the theft?
I wish you good luck with this. It's going to be an uncomfortable situation, possibly uncomfortable long-term. But concentrate on maintaining a relationship with your son (and future grandchildren). Always be civil and polite to your son's bride, so that nothing in your behavior can be held against you. And don't leave large amounts of cash around the house . . . ever again!
2007-11-21 07:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Suz123 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Surely your son and his fiancee know how you feel, but since they are going ahead with this marriage, you remind them that while you cannot simply forget what has happened, you will do your part to put some of it behind you, because they are your family and you wish them well
You keep your comfotable distance when you can. You celebrate some holidays somewhere other than your house. You hide your valuables on the other holidays. Above all, you do NOT hold your future grandchildren hostage to your relationship with their mother.
2007-11-21 02:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they are going to be problems. If she's not welcome in your home, are you willing to go to their home for holidays and to see grandkids?
Be prepared for you son not to want to spend a lot of time with you over this, but you are entitled to not be stolen from, to be respected in your home, not be lied to, and no you don't have to like her. You have to find the balance of what you're willing to tolerate from her to be part of your son's life. (I had to make this distinction in my own life when a family member was using drugs. It was incredibly hard but in the long run things have worked out, and there aren't hard feelings)
2007-11-21 09:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heres the thing.
Your mad at her for stealing from you; and your son loves her more then anything in the world. Now it seems to me like you have to mend fences with your son and his FW. Think what you want of her and watch her like a hawk if you wat while she is over but, treat her with the respect your sons wife deserves. IF not your very foolish for giving up the joy you would have recieved from time with you son and grandchildren. Dont be petty.
2007-11-21 02:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your son very frankly so that he will know the real score. if he will not listen to you then he has to face all the consequences. Talk to people closest to him or let his bestfriend talk to him, maybe he will listen.what are friends for anyway?His friend can suggest to investigate about the stolen money to be more biased.
2007-11-21 02:13:51 · answer #7 · answered by gingging 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be there to support him when he wakes up to the mistake he is making.
if you attempt to rescue him, he will resent you and attach himself more firmly to her lies.
i'm so sorry he is walking into this fireball... be understanding that love is blind, and be the best parent you can by being available and approachable for him.
reassure him that you love him, and are there for him day or night.
2007-11-21 08:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by chilly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your son is still with her, supporting her, and not repaying the money, cut them off.
Maybe some jail time for her will come once it comes to court... then he'll have time to think.
2007-11-21 09:46:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
how did she get to steal that much from u?no u can have ur son bring the kids over ..money isnt everything but thaT is disrespectful.did she say sorry atleast?
2007-11-21 02:11:37 · answer #10 · answered by jaclyn130 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋