(For the guys): So, if I made an amazing meal, would you do the dishes?

Question

Let's say I made baked sea scallops, with garlic, butter, wine & lemon sauce, a mushroom risotto, and a colorful salad with a soy sauce/vinaigrette. Would you do the dishes?
And, if my b/f didn't, should I dump him? ;-)

Answer 1

I am not a guy but I've been married to my husband going on 25 years now. And we have a deal in the kitchen. I love to cook and he doesn't. So, his deal with me is, if I cook, then it is his job to do the dishes. He even gets upset if I go and wash the dishes myself. He tells me it's the least he can do for all the work I do to cook the meals for him.

Now, I take care of him in return by washing the dishes as I cook so that the only dishes left in the sink are the skillets/pots that couldn't be washed ahead of time and the dishes we eat on. So the kitchen isn't totally thrashed when he comes out to do his part.

The toughest days for him are Christmas and Thanksgiving - with the pans from the turkey, the company dishes, pans from potatoes, etc. He doesn't flinch and sets to work. I offer to help but he refuses. He's the neatest guy.

And, in our marriage - we lean on each other. We have our own duties around the house but if one of us is ill or had surgery, the other picks up all the duties of both and does them until the other is back on their feet. I feed the critters around the house but if I'm ill, he does it. He does the dishes, laundry, vacuums, etc. if I'm ill. If he's ill, I mow, take out the trash, do yard work, take care of him in whatever way I can, and do whatever chores I am capable of doing. We have 5 acres. His normal duties are the outside and mine are the inside. We both prefer it that way.

So, find the good qualities in your bf and what he can and can't do and what he will and will not do. Weigh his good qualities against the bad qualities (if he has any) and decide from that. Just because he doesn't do dishes but has no other drawbacks - is no reason to dump him. Don't go into a relationship with the idea of "changing" him - either he has it in him or he doesn't. And don't connect with him to make yourself "whole". I truly believe you should enter a relationship with the idea of wanting them but not needing them. Needing (to me) means something is missing in the person who "needs", whereas wanting means the other person would be very nice to have around and could compliment your life. Both people being able to stand on their own two feet allows each of them to be secure in the knowledge that if anything happens to one, the other will continue.

My hubby is 6'2" and a man all the way.

Answer 2

Of course I would do dishes.

I wouldn't dump your boyfriend right off the bat, but if the couch dog does more work than he does, than I would reconsider.

Actions speak louder than words. If he goes out his way to help without waiting for you to ask, then he's a good guy. But if you have to keep giving him clues to get his hands dirty every-now-and-then, then maybe he's not the one for you.

Now, I read your question. If you made all that, and that guy never suggested to even take out the trash, then yes, dump his butt and make me the food. I'll do the dishes everyday if you cook like that.

Answer 3

I would do the dishes. This is a standard reciprocation typical of any caring relationship. It's an unspoken rule that extravagant efforts in the kitchen are rewarded by relief from the manual labor of dish-duty. The b/f should not only do the dishes without being prompted, but should at least pretend to do them cheefully.

Answer 4

Oh yes! That is what a relationship is. If he is refusing to do something then make your priorities straight. Let him know you want to be respected from the beginning so you won't have problems later~

Good Luck to You!

Answer 5

i never do. no matter what my gf cooks.

Answer 6

hell naaa.. men dont do dishes