How do you tell a kid there dad is dead?

Question

Long story!!!!!! :(

I just got Hired at a Morgue as the Consler. I am the one asined to tell the family there loved one has past. A single father died in a car wreack and i had to tell his son he died! :(

Answer 1

i think telling a child 5 years and up about death since its such a part or our lives no younger they cant understand i told my daughter her grandma died in 06 that our dog died in 06 that her bird died in 06 and that our cat died in 07 and her grand father might die as well this year she will notice where did all these things go so start young i say

Answer 2

"Children will respond to a critical incident, even if the incident was minor or happened to someone else. The following tips for talking with your children:

Listen to and accept children's feelings.
Give honest, simple, brief answers to their questions.
Make sure they understand your answers and the meaning you intend.
Use words or phrases that won't confuse a child or make the world more frightening.
Give your child an honest explanation if you are feeling so upset you don't want to talk about what happened. You may want to take "time out" and ask a trusted family friend to help.
Even if you feel the world is an unsafe place, you can reassure your child by saying, "The event is over. Now we'll do everything possible to stay safe, and together we can help things get back to normal."
Be especially loving and supportive; children need you at this time.

Some children have strong reactions and behavior changes after an upsetting event; while others will show little indication he or she has been affected. Keep in mind, just because a child doesn't exhibit signs of trauma it does not mean he or she wasn't affected and doesn't need support. Everyone deals with stress in different ways. Counselors emphasizes children struggle with trauma "because his or her view of the world as a safe and predicable place has been lost," and lists some children's reactions:

Bed-wetting
Thumb sucking
Clinging to parents or fear of strangers
Older, more independent children want to spend unusual amounts of time with family members
Nightmares
Refusing to sleep alone
Fear of the dark
Physical symptoms, such as stomachaches
Difficulty concentrating

The Red Cross encourages parents to seek professional help if certain symptoms, which are listed on their web site, last longer than three months. Counselors stresses, "It is important to set limits on unacceptable behavior while recognizing that there are no unacceptable feelings."

Dealing with a traumatic event is a struggle for the most mature adults. For the children of police officers, an on-duty injury or death often results in the culmination of their greatest fears. Fortunately, many things can be done to help. "Helping your child cope with a parent's trauma can be an opportunity for a child to mature and for you to become closer as a family," Looking back on the incident with my her children's father, I would handle the situation differently now. The police department never taught the officers how to deal with their families."

My husband the cop.....1998-2006

Answer 3

It depends on the age of the child. Depending on the circumstances of the death, your beginning topic may vary. The sooner you approach the subject, the better. DO NOT say things like, "dad went away and is never coming back" or "he is sleeping for a very long time". Has the child ever known of any death (even of an animal), you can talk about that circumstance to help in the understanding. Do not give too much information(this may overwhelm them), start the topic and wait for the questions that the child wants answers to. Let the child know they can always talk about the death if they ever have more questions in the future.

Answer 4

Regardless of age, a child has a right to know what happened. Obviously, if you and the father are estranged/divorced/separated, there are things your child will not understand if they're young. However, because his or her father is dead, they have a right to know what they can understand about the situation. For example, telling a four year old is very different than telling, say, a twelve year old, and that's different than telling an eighteen year old. With a young child, tell them that Daddy is not coming back, and as they get older, you can tell them more about your situation with their father and the circumstances surrounding his death. Never say more than you are comfortable telling a child of that age, and try not to tell them things that they simply wouldn't understand. Keep it simple and age appropriate, and always keep it honest. Your child will be angry with you later if they discover you've lied to them. Keep communication channels open with your child. It'll be better as they get older and their angst surrounding themselves and relationships with others get more complicated. I hope this helps, and I'm sorry for your loss. That's a really hard situation.

Answer 5

I was pretty scared as a kid to find out that I would someday move on, and my parents never took the time to explain death, birds and the bees, and just the way the world works. Just having you around already gives the kid and advantage in dealing with this situation. Try a child psych, it worked with me and my 13 yr old daughter. Whichever method you use will be the right one as long as you love your kid and have confidence he will bounce back 10 fold.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear..
It's always hard to do something like this as I have been in the position of the "kid".

Sometimes it's best not to make a story long and complicated but instead just letting him/her know that he is in a better place watching over him.
That he may not be around anymore. But I do not believe you should make a story up about it because this will be a depressing time and he/she will need someone there to help him/her.

Answer 7

your question is a little vague; how did he die? r u the parent or guardian? how old is the kid; 5, 15? if u are not the parent or guardian, then stay in your lane unless the parent or guardian gives u permission. if he is a kid then get books at their age level about death and dying. read the book aloud and read together and let the child ask anything they want. teens? wow. they may have issues with anger depending on what happened. be prepared to expect the worse. be very supportive. answer any question that they may have

Answer 8

i had to tell my cousins just a month ago there mom died one was 7 and the other 10 it wasnt easy. what we did was had a consoler for the church down the street come to explain there mom was in heaven. and what its like up there and how hes in a pieceful place. we just sat them down and said we had to ahve a serious talk and they just cried. one was in shock and wouldnt talk and just sat there for about an hour. its not easy but if you now a single mom and have no one to help tell them the consoler was a BIG help he made the kids understand where there mom went is a great place. im sorry about you loss, i hope they take it good. if you need to talk at all you can always message my i hope things go good with the kids!

Answer 9

In order to give a proper answer, we need more info. It definitely depends on how old the child is, as well as if you are a religious family or not, and if so, what type of religion. If it's a small child, you could say that Daddy has gone to Heaven. If they are in the teen years, you'll just have to buck up and give them the answers they need to the best of your ability.

Answer 10

You should probably wait until they start asking questions about him. Also you might go to the library and see if there are any good self help books on this subject. I'm sure there are. You could also talk to your priest or pastor to help you approach the subject. Your child will need all the support he/she can get in a loving way. Best wishes!