I've noticed a change in my boyfriend, he has a lot of stress lately mostly with his new job, and stress from being in debt, is it possible that it's affecting our relationship? He doesn't think he's acting any different towards me, but I feel more like aroomate than his lover. He's real distant and on edge, he answers me real mean, even sleeps on the couch most of the night, doesn't call me or text me much anymore I tried talking to him about it he just gets mad, and doesn't hink he's acting any different. I asked him if he needed time away or wanted to eend it he said no, what do I do, this hurts, I don't feel like hes here for me anymore, I love him very much, will this blow over? What do I do?
2007-11-20 16:27:55 · 17 answers · asked by coronaqt2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try not to take it personally. You know he's in debt, he's got a new job (which probably means he's not sure if it's going to work out), and naturally he's not his usual self. He does not feel he's treating you any differently because he does not feel any different about you, but he apparently does feel different generally. Patience, they tell me, is a virtue.
2007-11-20 16:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know much about dating, the only guy I dated I married, but after a few years and one kid, he started treating me that way, then...he started cheating on me with some previous girl he used to date that dumped him...after that, he got meaner and eventually, he was having affairs all over, beating me up because he hated himself for the lowlife he turned out to be. I was a fool, stayed for 21 years, and finally I divorced him after he tried to poison me. Now, I still am alone, and already, he has picked up and married some other chick. If you have kids, it will be worse than if you don't, if he won't discuss the issue, leave him. You deserve EQUAL respect, if you treat him like he does you, than stay, if not...FIND YOURSELF A MAN WHO WILL TREAT YOU JUST AS GOOD AS YOU DO HIM! I would give him a chance to talk, to change, but don't stick around too long. I did, and every day I feel the pain of all the broken bones and concussions, etc. he caused to me. I will never be the same, yet, he still hates me. Go figure. Good luck, and be safe.
2007-11-20 16:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by msbalisong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to scare or worry u but it sounds like maybe there might be someone else, this would be my first thought if my love was acting this way. but if your sure and trust him and know he wouldnt do that then maybe hes worried your going to want more then what hes giving and he feels hes in no position to give it to you rite now, nor does he want to say no so hes trying to keep his distance until he works things out. maybe he is pushing you away because he is short fused right now and knows that any little thing will set him off and he doesnt want to blow up on you? just let him know that what ever hes going threw if it ever gets to much for him to deal with alone that your always there for him, that your love for him is eternal and that when what evers going on his stress or what ever is gone you wont be, your going to stick by him threw what ever it is, and that if hes over stressed in work or what ever that your willing to help him any way you can and all he has to do is let you know. i hope things go well with you two things will get better! :] if you ever need to talk or any thing you can always message me! good luck
2007-11-20 16:36:43 · answer #3 · answered by Niki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably trying to sort things/matters out. Do you happen to know how badly he's in debt, try to help him, be supportive, don't ask him too many times if he's okay.
A lot of guys like to get matters taken care of on their own. But, how long has he been stressing? Let him know that what he's going through isn't youre fault. He shouldn't be cross with you.
2007-11-20 16:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by Estevan R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are not trying to be nosey, but you have noticed a change in his attitude. Tell him you know he's going through some difficulties but you are there for him when he's ready to talk. Men are funny like that. They take pride in being the dragon slayer, and when they feel like failures it takes a toll on their masculinity. He'll open up again, just give him some space.
2007-11-20 17:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by yayaquack 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him straight out. He might not be the prefect guy for you anymore, or he might just be going through a tough time.
Depending on how close you are, try helping him to pay off his debt if this really is the problem; if it is something more serious then be there for him.
If you come outright and tell him he will appreciate it, or you can end it knowing that it is the right thing to do.
2007-11-20 16:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by Emma-ly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes it does sound like it's affecting your relationship since it's bothering you a lot and understandably so. give him a few weeks and be honest about how your feeling and tell him that you are there to be a soundingboard if he needs one. but if he continues like this for a few months then he is probably slipping into depression. it's your ultimate decision over whether or not you want to stay with him but if his negative outlook keeps bringing you down then that's not fair to you, is it?
2007-11-20 16:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient...be nice,. his self-esteem is on the line. He wants to be your hero , your hunter/gatherer. I've personally had a very hard time in the past feeling romantic or persuing a relationship when my finances are in disarray.Remember, unlike you womenfolk, men aren't always comfortable "talkin' 'bout their feelings" on the matter. They feel too vulnerable. i.e. weak, and they want to be strong for their ladeez. Trust me on this one. I speak from experience. Give him eyes of love and understanding...but also give him total disclosure and honesty, and remind him to do the same for you...he'll adore you for not putting more pressure on him
by letting this whole thing hurt your feelings...Be strong for and with him...he'll return it...
2007-11-20 16:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Farmer & Granny Crabtree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how his actions are making you feel. And listen to his replies, dont just try to push his feelings aside in it. Some people dont respond to stress very well, and some are absolutely horrid in how they handle it with a loved one. They may think they are saving you from being involved, when to you they are shutting you out. =)
2007-11-20 16:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by aethwynn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe just give him the space he wants but at the same time,try to make him aware that your there if he needs you by being available.maybe hes just adjusting to the new job and also thinking a lot about his debts.hope you pass that stage...goodluck
2007-11-20 16:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by connie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋