Was I right or wrong?

Question

I went to the gas station yesterday and went inside to pay. As I came outside, there were 6 guys dressed in army clothes, recruiting people. One of them shouted, "Hey!" as I walked towards my car. I ignored it as I wasn't interested, being a college student and not holding a favorable opinion of our doings abroad anyways. He called again and started jogging after me. I turned around and he was offering some kind of card. I said,"I'm not interested," and turned to walk to my car. He says, "Oh, you're just going to turn your back on me like that? Give it to a friend" I turn around again and say, "I'm not interested, my friend aren't either," and turn to walk to my car again.

A minute or so later, as I'm filling my car, another one of them runs up with a yellow flyer, and yet another starts taking photos of me from afar. I ask the guy that walked up to me why I'm being photographed and he says, "I don't know, you'll have to ask him," as he kept telling me to take his flyer. So I take it and threw it in the trash next to the pump. He says, "Why'd you just throw my flyer away? Why'd you do that, that's my flyer," looking angry.
I say, "You gave me the flyer, isn't it mine now, can't I do what I want?" He says, "You don't throw our flyers away." I say, "Fine, you want me to get it for you?" He says, "Yeah, yeah, I do want you to get it now." I take it out of the trash and give it to him. "You keep this flyer, because if I'm taking it, it's going in there again," I say, pointing to the trash and extending my hand for a handshake. He shakes my hand. I say, "Have a good day."

I was pretty proud of myself actually and was telling this to a friend. He said it sounded as if I acted completely rude and should have just taken the dang flyer, and certainly not doing something like tossing it... My argument is that, when I said I wasn't interested, they should have left me right there, and it is they who were acting very disrespectful by pursuing their case. I'm still proud of how I handled the situation, as I felt they were trying to intimidate me, and if I would have taken the flyer, I would have certainly felt "lesser" afterwards.

Your take?

Thanks for the all responses! Two things of note, since some of you are saying that I should have never taken it out of the trash, or that I should have walked up to the guy taking the pic.

1.) I made up my mind that I wouldn't take their flyer, regardless of what happened.
2.) At the same time, I was determined to avoid any physical confrontation. It was a public place and wouldn't have lasted long, but there were 6 of them, I'm in college, I really can't afford making points by swinging at people at this stage...

So I took it out of the trash because they all saw me do it, I just decided I'd take it out and give it to him, making the point "trash, or keep it" without inciting a physical confrontation. And I didn't walk up to the camera guy because I wanted to end this scenario, not walk over to where the rest of them were. I figured, they don't have my name so what can they do with my photo? It wasn't nice, but I can let that go.

I had to kinda weigh the whole situation...

Answer 1

Nobody can make you do anything, sound liek you did a pretty fair thing, you didnt want what they were giving you, but they tried to force it on you and you wouldnt have any of it....good job!

Answer 2

I agree with you. Although I'm pro-military (and I just have to wonder what these fellas were up to with this behavior), I have to agree that if you're not interested, you have a right to be left alone. Although some crazy sales guy at the mall doesn't compare, I get fed up with these guys coming up to me and insisting that I look at their product. It's gotten to the point that I tell them very plainly, and rather curtly, to get away from me. They're usually offended and demand to know why but I simply ignore them and walk away.
I think that you gave them more than enough of your time and it doesn't appear to me that you were confrontational which is great. They can't say that you are rude as you didn't ask them for their attentions, you simply wanted to be left alone.

I just read your additional details. Kudos! More people should weigh out consequences the way you do. If they did, there would be a lot less grief! I'm guessing that you're in school for something analytical. If not, maybe you should think about it. It's absolutely baffling how few people measure consequence.

Answer 3

Not too sure what a guy should do in that situation. I think they sounded like they had been too aggressive and should have back off. It almost sounded kinda frightening as you explained the picture taking and not taking NO for an answer. I think you handled the end results in quite a good way. It was mature, and showed you had class. I would not have thrown the paper away, I would have said okay, smiled and thrown it in my vehicle, gotten rid of it at home or in a nearby trash, also I may have been inquisitive to see what they were trying to fill my head with. Especially if I hadn't agreed with what they were handing to me.

Answer 4

There actions were completely rude. You behaved pretty much as I might have. No one has the right to force themselves on you. And the pictures would piss me off. I might have picked up the flyer and got a number off of it and complained like hell. I had a similiar problem when they were having a blood drive at work. I'm pretty touchy about giving blood because I have rare blood and have been a free donor and then they found out I should not be donating blood. So I could have been causing people serious problems or even killing them so when I walked out of work and ignored the blood drive and this loud mouth guy chased me down the parking lot and after I told him I don't give blood, I'll just let you guess what I told that rude SOB. I had a right to privacy and that was my personal business and this idiot thinks decides he can act as he did. I was forced to straighten his stupid *ss out. . .just as you did. They were lucky you didn't call the police since they were threatening, complain to the store, and to their bosses.

Answer 5

Okay #1 I side with your friend on this one, why couldn't you have just taken it? no maybe it wasn't right for the guy to harass you into taking it but you could have solved the whole ordeal if you just took it and said "Have a nice day." I hate when people do that, make a big whoop about a piece of paper. Just take it,
#2 The fact that you are proud of this whole fit is a little immature. If other people act wrong and harass you step up and be the better man.

Answer 6

What you did was perfectly fine, you told them you weren't interested, more than once, and they persisted to interfere with your gas pumping. I would have done the same thing...up until the point where you took it out of the trash can. I would have been a lot less reasonable about it after that...

Answer 7

Well, you certainly have the right to respond to somebody getting in your face like that and no I don't think you were rude because they pushed on and on without letting it drop.

For the future, I always say "no thanks" and then make it a bit more smiley at the end by saying "but good luck to you" Then you are really saying "don't ask me again but no hard feelings"

I would have taken it and thrown it out, as well!

Answer 8

It sounds like they were acting more like sales men than recruiters. But I agree with what you did, though I wouldn't have done it myself. The way I see it is "no" means "NO!" He offered and you declined. There was no reason for them to continue. I see that as a form of harassment!

Answer 9

there is no faith in the army now, and desertion rates are at an all time high, so i think recruiters are now salespeople who are forcibly coming after people, desperately trying to recruit. no offense intended, but they all seem to lack tact.

i think what you did was admirable. i would have just patronized them and taken the flyer telling then how it sounds interesting and i'd look over it and get back to them (ha!)

Answer 10

Never mind about feelings and ettiquet. They put out a large investment of energy to get a small response out of you. You won.