My fiance and I dated in highschool while I was a freshman and he a senior. We went our seperate ways when he graduated and left for the marines and I had to finish school. We both married, but still felt like we should have been together, after divorcing we looked for each other and now we are back together and getting it right this time! He wants me to wear white and being our second I don't agree. I am ok with wearing a wedding dress for him...but I think it should be off white of some shade....ivory, cream, champaign...but he insists on white, because it should have been done this way the first time? What do you think? I also feel I look terrible in white! I look much better in something with a golden tone.
2007-11-20 16:10:03 · 28 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
well you see, i am all about wearing what he wants because it really is for him.. when they open those doors in the church for the first time, dont you want him to look at you in amazement?.. i personally would do everything in my power to get that look of amazement on his face.. however, i do understand the girls that want to wear what they want to wear.. i mean they do have to be happy with how they look.. but i personally am all about impressing my man :)
2007-11-21 06:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tiff Tiff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remarried after being married 16 years and then divorcing. I wore white but didnt do the whole big wedding dress. Instead mine was more a 1920's style still long but a 2 piece and very fitted. It doesnt matter do you what you want. I dont think there are any golden rules the second time around. We even had 120 people to help us celebrate our new lives together! Big wedding and all. ...very casual attire for the guests though. Outside on patio at a golf club with banquet rooms.
2007-11-20 16:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by NOt going to be a hippocrit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people wear white in the second wedding. You are not going to get tomatoes thrown at you or anything. Make sure you tell him how you feel about this though. Tell him you want to wear a shade of white, but not bleach white. Try to come up with a compromise.
2007-11-21 04:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by vaya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you explain to him that you dont want to wear white, not because you dont feel its "appropriate" (He'll argue - who cares if its appropriate?), but because you dont feel the color is flattering and you'd look better in a slightly off shade. he might understand.
You can also explain that very few people wear stark white anymore. Another option, dont tell him you're not gonna wear stark white. When you're at your reception, if he asks (doubt he will) tell him you fell in love with the dress as is. 9 times outta 10, i doubt he will notice if the shade is only slightly off from white.
You have a lot of options, i say dont sweat the small stuff. You can have your "as it should have been first wedding" without the technicalities of a white dress. Congratulations.
2007-11-20 17:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by loki_only1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the origin of the **white wedding gown** denoted the wealth of the brides family rather than anything else. It was a practical consideration in that families could not afford the extravagance of an outfit that could only be worn once.
Also a white gown is a western cultural tradition, many other cultures choose red or other colours some even changing outfits a number of times during the celebrations.
regardless of *tradition*; how many times you have been married or how old you are , you should choose an outfit that flatters you & you feel comfortable wearing.
GOOD LUCK
2007-11-20 23:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that the whole idea of the significance of white has taken a beating. So I hope you can become comfortable with that.
I also look ghastly in pure white, and I wore ivory. Why would you not want to look your best at your wedding?!?
Now here's the kicker. He "insists"???? Educate him regarding white. You don't need Cosmo; a man who cares about tradition will be happy to hear it from Miss Manners.
If he still "insists", I'm afraid that would be a showstopper for me.
2007-11-20 18:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's up to you as to how strongly you feel about it. My mother insisted I wear white and I did it for her. I didn't feel strongly either way though. If the dress of my dreams was in ivory however, we were going to do battle over it!
My husband on the other hand, wouldn't be able to tell the difference if you put them side by side! He considers them all white.
If you really feel you look terrible in it, and it isn't appropriate then explain that to him. Also even though he hates to admit it it is a second marriage for both of you and he needs to accept that and move on.
2007-11-21 00:05:43 · answer #7 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I looked online and read on all of the top advice sites that this really isnt a big deal anymore. Basically, white isnt viewed as a symbol of virginity anymore it's really about love and commitment. Besides, who cares how many times you have been married. Did you really hear ppl saying "Wow, Carmen Electra wore white? The scandal!" NOPE.
Anywho, I think that you should wear whatever you want. If you would be unconfortable then, dont. If you really want to wear it but your afraid of what ppl will think, really wear the dress.
Besides, most ppl invite the ppl they care about to their weddings. These ppl are your friends and family I highly doubt they will be anything but happy for you on this day.
Talk to your FH and do whatever it is that will make this day great for you.
2007-11-20 17:47:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should wear something that makes you feel beautiful. A lot of women don't wear white because it makes them looked washed out (I'm one of those) and that's one of the reasons that diamond white/ivory/eggshell etc. exist. Now the color of the dress is not looked at as being a sign of the bride's purity, but just being complimentary to the bride herself. Just explain to him that white just doesn't do you justice, and that ivory is just as good. After all, what difference is the color of the dress to the wedding and marriage in general?
Personally, I plan on having either a silver or blue wedding gown. So tell him to be grateful that you want to stay in the white family!
http://www.beau-coup.com/wedding-dresses-gowns-colors.htm
2007-11-20 16:18:51 · answer #9 · answered by Freke 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't do white. Specially now days when wedding dresses come in so many colors. If you want to make you both happy find a dress that is white with some other color on it also. Davids bridal has lots of dresses that are like that. What is your maid of honor wearing. Have the dress trimed in that color.
2007-11-20 22:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by pandazoogurl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not really a big fan of guys telling women what they should wear. I agree with the other person in thinking that it's very controlling. He should have respect for your feelings and know that it's a very special day for you and you need to feel comfortable in what YOU CHOOSE to wear.
What kind of need is he fulfilling that he's requesting that you wear white. Brides choose their own dresses! He shouldn't even see it til the wedding day if you were to abide by tradition.
2007-11-20 16:29:35 · answer #11 · answered by mosaic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋