why do my parents treat me like this?

Question

in school last year my gpa was 3.0 steady this year its just the 1st semester and i got a 3.5 alreay but they treat it like its nothing like "oh yea i expect that from you your the smart kid out the bunch" when i reall worked hard to get all a's and b's on my report card and then they was happy with my little brother when he got c's and b's on his report card and gave him $$ for it and like i said i got a's and b's and didnt get nuthin not even a pat on the back.....why

Answer 1

"Squeaky wheel gets the oil" and no one said life is fair...cuz it isn't--FAR FAR FAR from it.

My situation was--and still is--the same, so much that when my first high school senior trimester average fell to a 3.25, (I was in an emotional slump), my parents threatened not to send me to college at all. Mind you, my sister graduated with barely a 3.0 and nary was ever said about her not getting to go. (Note, I graduated with high honors and National Honor Society status. She didn't graduate with either one.) She got to go to a private-priced college. She never really had to earn any of her spending money growing up (because she wouldn't). My parents paid off her credit cards...three times (this last one totalling over $30,000). The list goes on and on...

Does this sting? Sure. Am I angry? You bet! However...

I am slowly learning--really learning--the wisdom in letting go. I can stew in anger, hurt, resentment, and it gets me nowhere. Sis still gets just about everything (attn, money, etc.), and I just hurt. It is not going to change because many times, there is something else going on under the surface, and Mom/Dad will just keep it up, sometimes well into your adulthood because their behavior will never really make your brother grow up (as was the case with my sister) and thus, the behavior will continue indefinitely. I wish I could assure you that this will end, but my experience (with my family as well as others I have seen) tells me otherwise.

But what I CAN tell you is that this treatment, though hurtful, is teaching you to depend on yourself, to do things for your own betterment, to succeed because you can. In the end, YOU will have the intrinsic desire to push yourself and accomplish, and you won't need their/any other outside bribes or incentive to do so.

Most likely in life, you will be the more successful one--and not just in the economic sense. Because you will truly know the wisdom in doing things for their own value, you will be respected for the work you have done, and it will be reflected in your relationships with others. Other people DO notice.

I realize that you you desire recognition from your parents, as we all do. I can assure you that on some level, they notice too, and they are proud of you, even if they are totally taking you for granted. You can try talking to them, but in the end, you will most likely have to accept that for whatever reason(s) they have, they won't give the idealized recognition you seek.
Just try to take pleasure from your own accomplishments and know that, in time, you will end up far ahead. Don't let it eat you up inside.

Answer 2

It sounds like your parents have very high expectations of you and they want you to be the best of the best so they know your future will be successful.

The problem with parents is a lot of the time they go about it in the wrong way. They nag and nag and nag thinking that will work instead of praising you. But in reality they are just making you feel pressured, not good enough, and a failure.

Parents sometimes get so caught up in being the best parents they go about it in the wrong way. They end up coming off like all they do is tell you what you do wrong and never telling you what you do right.

You need to sit down and talk to your parents about how they are making you feel - maturely, calmly, and with no attitude. If you can't talk to them try talking to your school counselor who may be able to speak to your parents for you or with all 4 of you.

Answer 3

Let me be the first to say good work and well done! I am pround of you for all your hard work! I don't know why some parents do this sort of stuff. Maybe it is because they know you'll do well and they don't want to make a big deal about it. Next time try to casually say something like....are you proud of me too or you don't seem to surprised with my good marks. Say something in a nice way but try to put it out there that you would like some apprecation for you hard work too. I think parents forget how hard it is to be a kid, especially these days. Good luck and keep up the good work!

Answer 4

Sometimes parents don't make the best choices in the world but it doesn't mean they don't care.
What I mean is that you seem to have everything in order and your brother might need a bit more help in the studding field.
I would bet that if you had a problem in another area your mom and dad would be right there for you.
Hang in there it might not seem fare sometimes but you'll see what I mean in the future,sometimes people need a little push in the right direction.
I do think your mom and dad really should tell you how proud they are of you,may be you could tell that to them?

Answer 5

you're 13. you're actually not an person. they are treating you like a 13 twelve months previous. except you should be taken care of like a greater mature guy or woman, do not anticipate any exchange in basic terms by using fact which you have been a *gasp* teen for one twelve months. Age potential not something in case you do not learn something and mature right into a greater to blame guy or woman. in case you decide on them to notice which you have have been given matured you are going to could do something, you may not in basic terms take a seat there and say "yet i'm a teenager!" Do chores w/out them asking. do not ask for unreasonable issues. do not throw suits. Do nicely in school. decrease out the infantile stuff. actually ASK your mom and dad for greater accountability. edit - the 1st poster makes a great element. maximum of not each infant under the age of 18 or maybe 20 thinks that their mom and dad are "recommend." you do not understand 'til you're older that they have got been doing the main suitable suited factor b/c they love you. they are your mom and dad 1st and your pals 2d. undergo in innovations that. ___________________________ announcing which you will mattress in "20" would not recommend something except all of us comprehend what timezone you're in, infant. a existence like bedtime for a 13 twelve months previous is 9 or 10pm on the main cutting-edge.

Answer 6

They do not NEED to encourage YOU to get good grade because you already DO.... They KNOW you work hard, and they really DO appreciate that you work hard... it's just your younger brother probably gets really bad grades and may not study as well or as often and maybe they were having trouble with him before getting him to GET good grades... so that by PRAISING HIM for his b's and c's, they are trying to tell him they are proud of him for not getting d's and f's .... and hoping that by GETTING all that enouragement, that the next time, his grades will be even HIGHER.... like YOURS are!!!! They just know they can DEPEND on you to always get the good grades but your BROTHER needs any extra little PUSH they can give him to aim as as as you do.

Answer 7

My dad is the same way.
Ever since i got all A's and B's for the first time.... its just what my parents expect out of me. I hate how it seems like they don't care, but the second you get a C or do bad on a test, there all freaked out.

I think its just how they are.

Answer 8

I have the same issue with my parents. When you are very sucessful, parents are proud, but they grow to expect that from you, so they dont show it as much. Parents have this misconception that only students who struggle need to be encouraged, and students who excell dont need anything, just mention it to them every once in a while "hey! look what I got! Im so happy!" etc. it works!

Answer 9

Like they said.

Thats normal and now expected. I was the same way growing up.

Don't sweat it... If you are at all vengeful, use the high marks later in life to get ahead and then you'll look better than your sibling(s).

I shouldn't have said that last line, but hey sometimes what goes around comes around.

Answer 10

It's sad but true that sometimes the struggling child gets more attention. They ARE proud of you, though. The effort you are putting into your grades will serve you well later in life, no matter if your parents praise you or not.