Alight.... I want to know if I am over reacting. so I am 19 and my boyfriend is 21. He LOVES to go out and I can't because I am not old enough and don't have a fake. I see my boyfriend quite a bit during the week... on the nights he doesn't go out and then come the weekend I know I won't see him because he wants to go out. When me and him do see each other at night he comes over and we don't really do anything.. I may finish some homework, we watch TV, and go to sleep. I feel like yes I get to see him, but its not like I really get to hang out with him because we aren't doing anything. Its not that I need to do something that costs money I just want it to seem like "oh I have nothing better to do so I will just do what I would do at home, but just do it with my girlfriend" I know he loves me, but I feel if he had to choose he would pick going out over seeing me. I have talked to him about it and he said he wouldn't choose going out over me, but yet he doesn't really act like it.
2007-11-20 11:55:39 · 21 answers · asked by Panda23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have talked to him and he thinks since I see him during the week if I don't see him on the weekend it isn't the end of the world. or he just says he doesn't want to talk about it and thats the end of that conversation. Its just frustrating everytime I ask him to hang out he is busy, so its always me wondering if he will want to see me. is this worth it? I do love him, but sick of feeling second.
2007-11-20 12:07:44 · update #1
If he really loved you, he would make the effort to find places to go where you don't need to have to be 21 to get in. There are other activities you can do besides getting drunk. Why doesn't he take you to a show, or a movie or go bowling, roller skating, go to the zoo, to a museum, etc, etc.
2007-11-20 12:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by Flying Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are 19 not 17, there are plenty of things you can go do together that dont involve drinking (which is the only reason you can't go in the first place). Try a movie theater, a local tourist attraction, mini golf, or comedy club. The things that seem fun as kids are still fun when we get older, we just hate to admit it. If drinking is really important, have him buy some beer or liquor that he can drink while hanging out with you.
Really if going out and drinking is THAT important to him maybe you have a much bigger problem...Just a heads up, hanging out with drunks while you are sober...not fun....
2007-11-20 12:09:23 · answer #2 · answered by Null 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bar scene is probably fun for him if he just turned 21. No worries, it does get old. I've been in your shoes, 19 when I was dating someone who was 21. We made a deal, I'd get either Friday or Saturday PM and the other day he spent with his friends, going to the bar, whatever.
Oh, and the relationship finally dissolved because well, he was an ***. I didn't pickup the signs early on that he was really "all that into me" or he would have made more of an effort to spend time with me instead of his buddies.
2007-11-20 12:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by <3 cats 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would get upset as well. I think a lot of ppl will say Vday is overrated and materialistic, but let's be honest, it is still a day dedicated to celebrating your relationship. Yes he is hanging out with you on Monday (which can be viewed as a good compromise) but subconsciously that's almost like picking his friends over you. You should try talking to him (calmly but seriously) about how you feel. If anything, ask that he celebrates Vday with you and hang out with his friends on Monday instead. If you can work your magic, convince him to spend both days with you. You could think ahead by coming up with some ideas that BOTH of you guys would enjoy together for each day. Just suggest your ideas, not demand them. What you shouldn't do is get really angry, defensive, and be like "you always hang out with your friends! 3-4 nights a week! i keep track! you never pay attention to me!!" because guys' natural reaction is to get defensive as well, and then you just end up looking like a naggy, clingy girlfriend. The key is to stay calm and reasonable. Let him know you're disappointed and that you miss him, that you're not asking a whole lot for you guys to spend some time together. Good luck, I hope it works out for you. If he gets mad and continues to not spend enough time with you, then you should consider leaving him. If it doesn't get any better within the next year, it is probably never going to get better, unless he gains some maturity and sensitivity. You just need to have a heart-to-heart talk. I wish you the best!
2016-05-24 09:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by madeleine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not overreacting. He should adjust his schedule abit and go out with you on the weekends. Just cause you cant go out to places he goes doesnt mean you cant do anything else. Talk to him about it and tell him that you feel sort of like he chooses his friends over you. I mean, he doesnt have to hang with you every weekend, but twice a month or something.
2007-11-20 12:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, he will continue doing this because he's a guy and he probably doesnt know its bothering you if you dont tell him. My suggestion is to tell him how you feel. If he's a good guy he will consider your feelings and maybe cut back on the going out so much. If he insists on going out all the time, why dont you suggest he go out to places that you and him can go. Tell him you will be the DD since you cant drink at the bars and stuff. He may go for that. ...I know i would!....regardless, nothing will happen unless you suggest a compromise. Relationships are all about compromise, remember. He's young, and I'm assuming newly 21....pretty soon the "newness" of being able to legally drink at bars will wear off and he will rather stay home and save his money.....let me know how it goes. good luck
2007-11-20 12:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by VJay 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
whatever you do, don't bug him about it all of the time, or eventually he would pick going out over hanging out with you.
if he is 21 this going out thing is rather new to him. when i turned 21 it was all i wanted to do. give him and the going out thing a little bit of time to wear off. he will have to go through it when you turn 21...lol.
can you guys make plans to do other things, like going out to dinner or ice cream, etc?
2007-11-20 12:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by annie41378 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him.. and make him know how you feel.... because if he doesn't know , what you dont know wont hurt you as the saying goes.. SO you should talk to him.... communicating is the MOST important THING in a RELATIONSHIP!!!
Maybe you should have friends.. also... to go out... you should have fun too... and maybe also you can ask him every other week you 2 can stay together... on the week end it shouldnt bother him....
2007-11-20 12:00:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
that days that u do get him tell him u want to go out and do something even if its just seeing a movie or going to dnner. tel him u want to feel speical and be taken out to show the world sort of thing. it doesn't have to cost alot and its a nice though. suggest it and he might take the hint.
2007-11-20 12:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by punk girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he really cares about you he would not go out every weekend. once in a while is ok but he should want to spend time with you on the weekends too!you guys could go to the movies or out to dinner or invite friends over. i would make a date with him for a saterday night and if he declines cause he is going out dump him sister!
2007-11-20 12:00:49 · answer #10 · answered by becky p 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋