Non-religious people: Your views on suicide?

Question

So we know religious views i.e. its bad, you'll go to hell etc.
Im just curious about the views on suicide of the non-religious (atheist, agnostic, undecided etc.).
Do you see it as a mental illness, a failure of society or freedom of choice?
Thanks

It doesnt necessarily have to hurt the person (those around them is a different story)...jumping off from an incredible height would be a good way.

So no one sees it from a psychiatric point of view?
And I am only curious because I have a history of it. The only way my curiosity could land me in jail is by aiding in another person's suicide (of which I have no intention).

Answer 1

I think your question is serious and i won't just flip you off, so get something to drink, put up your feet and print this. I'm NOT a woman of few words...sorry.

First, it would certainly seem that opinions are like hineys... we all have one, but my bet is that few have actually experienced the pain of a friend's suicide, a family member or the devastating aftermath, loss, grief and especially the guilt of wondering if you might have done something...had you only known.

And yes, I lost my oldest and dearest friend 4 years ago, but I will never know if she contributed to her own death or not. I have strong suspicions that I can't ask her family for fear of twisting the knife. Further, if it is true, I did fail her, and big, in the last 48 hours when I KNEW something was wrong. I should have acted and didn't.

Having said that, I am hurting for the woman who lost her brother... I'm sorry.

Back to your original question. I'm Christian, I believe in God, Jesus Christ and have read the entire Bible - TWICE. I have also been a student of the bible for about 15 years, was not raised in a Christian home but chose it later of my own free will, I made an informed decision at the age of 30 - 19 years ago.

If Christians are telling you that you (or anyone) will "go to hell", they do not know their doctrine. The only references that I am aware of (as a Baptist/Methodist hybrid) are the Catholic "tradition" of not burying a suicide victim (i say "victim" for a reason, I think you'll see) in consecrated ground... the church cemetery, etc. The other is Moses commandment "Thou shalt not kill", which I take to mean ourselves as well as others. We were told not to "take life", that this is the domain of the divine and not a human option. But there is no place in the bible (and I HAVE looked, HAVE STUDIED this subject, in fact) that says one will not be admitted into God's presence after death for suicide. Not ANYWHERE.

I, in fact, lean far more on all the places where the Bible tells us that "God knows our hearts". This tells me that if this person was a saved believer, then they cannot be "Unsaved". Salvation is taught as permanent, a final condition. Now one can accept Christ and not live a very Christian life, but he or she cannot give back this gift. It just doesn't work that way.

So the only Christians saying it's a sin that is unforgiven, don't even have the basic Christian doctrine under their belt. Sinning does not exclude us, only not accepting Christ.

OK, enough preaching, and I do apologize, as it seems you are not a believer, but that was for those who are, those who seem to think they know it all because they "heard it somewhere". I studied and looked for myself. Sorry if I sound self righteous, as I don't intend it, but some tick me off when they call themselves Christian but only know what they are spoon fed and don't do the work.

OK, now REALLY done with that.

After my friend's death, I had a major struggle with losing her and with a painful spinal condition with a somewhat bleak and very painful prognosis, a not so hot future staring me in the face. So, I do have some limited experience in a very personal way.

As to the choices you listed above, I have also dealt with many in crisis (BSW) and my theory is that when a person is faced with more problems than he or she has resources to cope with, they are thrown into a state on confusion (but of opportunity too - which hopefully they can be helped to see), and if it is serious enough to them, if they cannot see enough options, suicide might become one.

But I don't think they have to be "mentally ill". People love to throw that word around as if all who don't think as they do, don't wear underwear, or name their kid Beavus have a diseased mind. Personality disorders are far more common and simply indicate the presence of a condition that might prevent them from seeing more than one option (these are usually patterns of coping with life that are destructive and have all kinds of fun names and guess what? Most of us have one as our personal shadow), or might cause them to include suicide as one of many options, but perhaps choose it in the end out of fear, exhaustion, an attempt never meant to succeed but which did not fail when they tried to get the serious attention of those around them.

The drive to remain alive is very strong, one reason why drowning is rarely used as a method... it's very hard to will one's self to die. Most methods require an action with the result a bit in the future. The body will fight an attempt to kill it, no matter WHO is attempting it.

And very intelligent people, those who I consider healthy "in the head" have chosen to end their lives when the negatives to remaining on the planet outweighed the positives to THEM. But those who I am referring to were usually in great physical pain, knew they had no reasonable expectation of becoming in any less, felt themselves to be a drain on their loved one's in some way, knew they were not going to live long anyway and/or felt they had nothing to contribute or gain by staying. It was not a rash decision, but one well thought thru and decided in collaboration with family and friends, some even with their doctor's assistance (and you would be blown away by how many doctors have actually helped on the sly, a bit too much morphine in an IV... resperatory arrest. Problem solved).

I am not agreeing with the decision, nor would I ever want to make it easier for a Christian (but I do hope their families are not burdened with the thought that they are in hell because of it). I only want to share what I have learned and some different views from those I have read here.

This is not to say that I could make this decision while in a healthy, functional state of mind, but I do know intolerable pain... and VERY well. Rarely can it not be alleviated in a person who is not terminal already and even rarer does it remain constant with NO relief, but it does happen.

But most suicides happen in secret, are the sole decision of the victim and are found to not have sought support from those around them out of shame, desperation...etc. And, in addition most are men, older men...ok, won't go into all that.

Society is equipped to handle some problems well, others not so well, but if two people with all things being equal have the same problem, the same support and come to different decisions, I have some problem blaming an entire society for one person's inability to cope. Do societies (of all kinds and types) have problems, failings? Certainly. And in many cases an institution (Religion for example) will absolutely fail a person, they will "fall through the cracks", go unnoticed somehow even tho they have sought help, so certainly it does happen.

And we know that those who are bipolar, schizophrenic, or have other real "mental illnesses" do succeed, so yes, that can certainly make reality unclear, hope unrecognized and the symptoms sometimes persuade a person into taking their own life.

A choice? EVREYTHING is a choice, right down to what mood you are in, so, are you asking if it SHOULD be an individual's choice under painful circunstances? I don't know. I can only answer that for me, I cannot think of a situation where IF I WAS RATIONAL, i would do it. But then, I'm not suffering right now either.

I think that one thing to consider is that people's problems are very private, often not shared and it is simply impossible to judge another's motives if not in their shoes. I cannot BLAME one for doing it, but I can certainly grieve deeply over it, feel guilty, wonder why and I can also never get "over" losing one I loved so much.

Selfish? Cowardly? I think that is so totally blind, so ignorant to make that kind of remark. Only those with little maturity, who are highly prejudiced and opinionated make themselves judge and jury in the life of another. It is a tragedy, and it should not be seen as a crime or as a failing by a weak person as we simply have no way to know their pain.

I recall making fun of women with "headaches" as a very young woman, saying that migraines were "all in their heads", making fun of all the drama......until I had my first one, spent the day trying not to puke every time I sat up, all curtains drawn, wincing at every little sound, unable to open my eyes and finally getting relief only with a fat shot of Demeral in the butt and sleeping for 12 hours. I no longer try to judge what I don't understand, and I no longer have migraines either.... go figure.

To those who seem to think that one thinking of suicide should just "go get help".... go get a clue. If that person did not think their decision a sound one, they would choose something else, therefore it stands to reason they don't think they need help, they think they need to be gone. Use your freaking heads.

So, my answer? I don't know. I think it's individual to every single person who ever had a thought and I think the reasons are more than 3 and sometimes very complicated.

Since you have dealt with the issue, I do want to say the obvious... if this subject is popping up in your head a lot lately, it would be wise to take a peek while you are still sound and rational. Maybe just an adjustment, a check-up, but don't wait and don't fear talking of it. I think YOU know how common, how hard and how important it is to take care of this kind of thing.

So, I do apologize for the book, but some subjects do move me and it was a very good question. Also one that matters to many (rare) and after reading the other answers, I just had to comment, especially when I realized that no one really addressed much of the blaming and ignorance expressed here.

I wish someone could answer it and thus rid the world of the problem of those who would rid the world of themselves (not get rid of THEM, but the problem they suffer from).

Suicide has always been a choice, and always will be but it remains a permanent solution to what is almost always temporary problem.

gentle thoughts...

Answer 2

Thoughts of suicide are not reasonable feelings to have regardless of your ethical views. A suicidal person should seek help from a medical professional. I tried to commit suicide several times. Not for attention but for real. I know from experience that the overwhelming feelings that cause a person to feel that life is not worth continuing are not normal. The feelings are caused by a chemical imbalance and CAN be treated.

Please seek help if you are feeling suicidal. No matter what you think, you are hurting a lot of people that care about you if you commit suicide.

Answer 3

Mental illness. I've lost a first cousin to suicide and it's not funny.

Bobby Gaylor has a spoken word piece "Suicide" that deals with all of the pros of suicide in the first half, then he blows you away in the second half by telling you about everything you'll miss in life. He wrote it as a poem for a suicidal friend who wouldn't budge. His poem worked.

Answer 4

It should be socially discouraged, for obvious reasons.
The majority of suicides are from people with psychological and/or emotional problems. If there wasn't such a stigma attached to mental health issues, more of them might seek help rather than succumb to despair. For example, in my line of work receiving mental health treatment can be a career ender, so many who need it just suffer in silence until it becomes too late.
However, there are some people who have perfectly good reasons to end their lives prematurely. For example a chronic, incurable illness that significantly reduces quality of life for themselves and their caregivers. I believe these people should have a reasonable alternative to dragging out the inevitable in anguish and misery.

Answer 5

As with any behavior, it's a choice. Sometimes people feel so hopeless that they see no other alternative. It's a sad part of being human. Poor mental health just precipitates the chances of someone acting on these feelings because they arent in a "place" where they can make good decisions.

Answer 6

In the case of the terminally ill, I think it is a personal choice. In the case of young, otherwise healthy people, I think that it is a failing on the part of society. Some of these poor people have serious issues, and they feel all alone.

As a teacher, I take suicide issues very seriously among my students.

Answer 7

Agnostic. Sad very very sad. We should do everything we can to help these poor people who think about suicide. Killing one self is terrible when there is so much good in the world. There are going to be some bad times but killing one self is not the answer. I believe the good out weighs the bad in this world. Mental illness.

Answer 8

I'm not religous because religion is peer-presure in my mind. But, I think suicide is mostly like you don't fit in and people make fun of you and you can't take it any more and you just do it. It could be a freedom of choose too. Just like the little blood suckie things leeches. People in school does it all the time and if you don't do it your an out-sider.

Answer 9

We 'non-religious' people do not pretend to know the minds of our fellows. Who knows what hell exists in a person's thoughts? Christians, especially, seem to want to judge everything, even things they cannot possibly know. John Lennon died an atheist, for instance. How do you KNOW he didn't, just before he died, convert? How do you KNOW gay people choose their sexuality? The same with suicide. Why is it selfish for someone to commit suicide? If the hell in the head of the person who had the courage to end it all was so bad, aren't WE the selfish ones to expect him to live it? Religion is simply not compassionate. I choose people over pie in the sky.

Answer 10

I think suicide is almost always the result of mental illness...hell, it DEFINES mental illness, especially in its consequences.

When one has a clear mind and chooses it rather than face something like a terminal illness, well, that's a choice, and I wish we would support that as a society.

Answer 11

I've always thought that suicide is so cowardly. Nothing can really be that bad. But, for those poor souls that found no escape or relief, I understand. I'm sure they didn't think of the ruined lives of their families though. I think it can be attributed to all three.