bridesmaid trouble?

Question

I have Four bridesmaids 2 are really helpful and willing to do anything the others are sisters in law and stress about alot of things, they are really worried about how they will look and want it their way. If i make a suggestion they dont like they say it would be better if we did it this way cause it looks better on them and even said one of my suggestions would look 'crap'! Im going nuts and this is turning into a miserable experience. What do i do?

These 2 bridesmaids are not large they are petite tall and very pretty and 20 and inlaws. i have put theme in elegant green dresses they chose and now they are complaining cause ive told them they have there own shoes as the other 2 cannot afford to buy new shoes and have ones that would be fine and they claim it wont look any good, so ive told them if they wish to match they can. now there is trouble over make up and hair!

Answer 1

tell them it's your wedding and you get to have the last answer. tell them that either they start agreeing with you or you'll just do with 2 bridesmaids

Answer 2

Sit down and talk with them about it. Explain in a non-judgmental way that you are trying to pick things that will look good on everyone, but you are not going to be able to make everyone happy. Explain that you would love to have them as bridesmaids, but you need them to support your decisions, and ultimately what they wear is your decision. Tell them kindly that if they have decided they would rather not be in your wedding, they can back out now with no hard feelings.

Before you do that, though, you may want to evaluate the things you are asking them to do and maybe get someone else's input on whether or not those are reasonable. If they are rather large ladies, for example, and you are asking them to wear revealing dresses, perhaps you should reconsider. However, if they are getting annoyed because they don't look good with their hair up or don't like the color sash you chose for their dress, then just remind them kindly that they need to be supportive of your decisions.

Answer 3

Try to remain emotionally generous, the sister in laws are people you'll be in the family with for the rest of your life (hopefully). So their worries about how they'll look must be respected.
When they get too petty, it's time to invoke a higher authority. If you have a wedding planner, she must take the rap for you. If not, your mother can be your ally. When Hulda & Drucilla say something is awful, you say "I know, but this is the only thing mother will consider."

Answer 4

You do it by potential of informing her which you have have been given made your decision and this is the blue, not the yellow. you are the bride meaning your notice in it is regulation, and maximum folk of the occasion choose the blue, so it is not even a question. even in the journey that your plans exchange as quickly as you notice what's accessible on your flower lady and junior bridesmaid, that would not exchange the actuality which you need to have considered attempting as bride and you'd be nicely interior your rights to % with out the enter of any of the bridesmaids. of course you decide on them to be happy and look stable, and this is great to hunt for advice from them approximately what they're going to be donning. That is going with out announcing. yet you need to have in basic terms gotten the outfits and further them with out even asking and it could have been completely proper - rather by using fact which you appear to be procuring the outfits. and whether you do opt to circulate with majority rule, this lone style wolf seems to have been thoroughly on her very own in this. arise and take administration. it is your wedding ceremony, not hers. you may make the regulations.

Answer 5

Don't ask for thier advice or thier opinion. Just state what you want them to do and they won't have much of a choice. I had the same problem at my wedding and decided that I would choose the dress and told them where to go for thier fittings. From that point on it was smooth sailing.

Answer 6

Whatever you do-please DO NOT change it for them.I made that mistake with my sister in law & I regret it.If I could change it,I would've just told her exactly what these other people said.That it is MY day & I want to do it like this.I guess I was just too nice about it lol..They might end up a little miffed,but it really doesn't matter.In the end, it's your day & whatever you want matters..Good luck!!

Answer 7

the 2 who are speaking their minds might actually be more helpful.. when they give you a complaint ask the 2 agreeable ones if the complaint is valid and tell them you won't be mad if they agree in its validity.. then trust their judgement b/c by being agreeable they definitely have your happiness at heart and you would probably value their opnions more b/c you asked for it.

Answer 8

Thank the bridesmaids for their suggestions, but firmly and clearly state that this is what you want, and it's your final decision. Tell them you really appreciate their gracious cooperation.

Answer 9

You say "Ladies, this is MY day. You had yours so would you please be a little less negative about my suggestions? It's not really fun anymore" and honestly, they're doing this because someone did it to them. When they want to change something, just smile and say "Oh, that's ok. I'm going to keep it this way".

Answer 10

hey its ur wedding its ur time to shine and they are trying to take over just say"i like your idea, but i would prefer my choice instead. I'm glad you are willing to help though. It makes a big difference."