My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, we went to a court house by ourselves, and have NO pictures from that day. The reason for not having a wedding is cause we didn't need all this attention on us and just wanted to be married ASAP.
We are very happy being a married couple but I'd like to have a wedding someday I don't wanna be married for 20 years and never had a wedding, ya know? Him in his uniform, and me in a simple dress. With photographers.
I think I won't have bridesmaids or I don't know. Maybe just a big party? With wedding presents? Which wouldn't be much cause we already bought everything ourselves.
IDK, how would you do it? How would you change it from a traditional wedding since you're already married? Would you go to a wedding like this?
2007-11-20 10:03:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Should I even have bridesmaids? I think it'd be weird, I've never been to a vowe renewal, and we aren't religious at all, so IDK how that works.
What kind of presents should we ask for? Maybe like money for a honeymoon? Or is that too much?
2007-11-20 10:10:08 · update #1
By the way, it'll probably be on our 5 year anniversary. And I want lots of pictures.
2007-11-20 10:36:37 · update #2
Just have a vow renewal.
I wouldnt go over the top with bridesmaids and
wedding stuff.....just a nice classy afternoon, renew
your vows before friends and loved ones.
2007-11-20 10:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I dont see an issue with anythig accept expecting gifts. I give cash or a gift at a wedding to help the new couple get started in there life together. you are already established. I would see your party as mor of a anniversary party and not a wedding. IMO I also agree that a MOH and BM are fine but no bridesmaids.
The way I would do it is have a JOP or a priest come to a hall that maybe has a nice garden or something. Have the ceremony & vows be for a renewal and not the same as what you would see at a wedding. Everything else can be the same as a wedding. I would happily go to a celebration like this if my friends threw one. I would however feel like I was being cashed in on if I was expected to give one or a gift.
Best of luck
2007-11-20 18:25:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Invite the people that are important to you. Don't feel obliged to invite your third cousins twice removed. Because you don't need a registered marriage officer to performit, this gives you a lot of flexibility about venue and the person to perform the ceremony. You could get a priest, or a good friend who you respect. In terms of venue, you could do it at your house, or at any pretty venue like a park or historic building. Then you can all have a nice meal together there. I like the idea of a jazz band playing in your back garden - but it's your wedding, and you can make it as simple or as complicated as you like. If you don't want bridesmaids, don't have them.
I'd go to a vow renewal, for sure. It's a lovely thing to do. People will probably bring presents even if you don't ask for them, and it's accepted practice to trade these for something else at the shop afterwards, since otherwise you might end up with 7 toasters and no kettle. You could return them and use the money for a honeymoon. But you could equally put a note into the invitation saying that you've already bought all your household goods, and what you'd really like is money towards a honeymoon. This is actually very common in Chinese weddings: they put in a cutesy poem that boils down to 'we already have a kettle and a toaster too/ so what we really want is some money from you'.
2007-11-20 10:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Marie Antoinette 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi. Yes, to me IT IS weird having a wedding after you are already married. And to be perfectly honest...it would NOT be a wedding! A "wedding" is a bride and groom...you are a married couple. You can call it what you want, but what it IS....is a vow renewal, not a wedding.
You say you got married at the courthouse because you didn't want "all this attention on us"....but now you do? I'm confused.
You CANNOT have bridesmaids...you are not a bride.
Yes, have an anniversary party if you want...but leave it at that. All of these do-overs are really too much. Look up on an etiquette site the proper etiquette for vow renewal ceremonies. I suggest: www.topweddingquestions.com
It's a great site answered by wedding experts.
2007-11-20 16:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Nothing is weird anymore. We, too, had a civil ceremony at the courthouse and I regret not having the pictures, etc.
Guess what? We've been married for over 20 years and I really want to celebrate our wedding/marriage so we are going to have one. It will be more of a renewal of our vows.
In your case, just do what you like. People will come or they won't. Your true family and friends will come to celebrate your marriage.
You should do what makes you and your husband happy. But since you asked, I personally would not have bridesmaids. I might have a maid of honor. The vows should be written to explain why you're having the wedding now and maybe include some sweet sentiments about your first year of marriage, etc. Perhaps you can say something to the effect of you both signed the marriage license because you couldn't wait to be husband and wife, and now...your joy is so full that you just couldn't keep it all to yourselves. Now, you want to repeat your loving vows to each other in front of God, angels and all these witnesses in attendance so all will know of your eternal commitment to each other.
Most marriages fail within the first year. Your has not only survived, but excelled! Today, everyone is here to celebrate your wedding joy.
Something like that.
Congrats on your happy union. :)
2007-11-20 10:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by hope03 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Have a vow renewal/wedding.
It's never appropriate to ask for gifts. I'd simply register at a few places and make sure that your clostst friends and family know where you are registered (casually tell them) so they can spread the word.
As for how to do it, you can pretty much do whatever you want. If you've always wanted a traditional wedding with a cake and bridesmaids and everything, go for it. If you want a big party, do that. It's about you and your hub and your committment to one another.
A wedding is a celebration of love. It's not about gifts and what's right and what's wrong to do. Celebrate the way that makes you both happy, and you'll never regret it.
2007-11-20 12:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by JMDP 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
VERY GOOD IDEA. Many people have renewal of vows after 20 years and on. But your idea is very unique.
I would plan a simple wedding, in your home or at a hotel rented conference room. Nothing fancy but maybe a garden type wedding. Write your own vows to each other, which could include the 2 years you already have dedicated to each other, You probably don't need attendants, but that is something you decide.
And I think it would be perfectly OK to ask for honeymoon donations in lieu of gifts.
2007-11-20 10:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you are already married. That was your wedding - regardless of what the circumstances were!
Best to plan an anniversary party - you can have a vow renewal, but it's NOT another wedding. You just in a pretty dress, no attendants, no 'wedding' stuff, just an anniversary celebration. Plan a party at your home.
And you DON'T ask for gifts.... sheesh!
2007-11-21 02:55:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it would be lovely to have a blessing - or renewal of vows - at your fifth anniversary. While it's tempting to make it a lavish occasion, you could make it really special without spending a huge amount. .... it's really the people who make the occasion for you.
My hubby and I have been married 21 years - and it would be good to have a blessing sometime; however, in the meantime, our parents have died - and they would be a big miss.
It would be lovely to find a beautiful restaurant for a sit-down meal with your nearest and dearest - after a nice celebration of your marriage.
If you've got a digital camera, why not start making a special album of pictures now to record your life together and show your journey to this special day.
... hmm, now, you've got me thinking :)
Best
M
2007-11-20 10:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by mar_macgillivray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am planning my wedding now and i've been married already for 3 years now it will be almost 4 when i actually have my wedding. when we got married through the court having a wedding wasn't important to me but now it is. we have a 2 year old and i want him to see my pictures plus i want to have my wedding party.
we are a huge family so even close friends and family is about 125 people and i'm going to invite them all i want all of them to be with me in my day.
i'm planning to have a renewal ceremony in my church where my pastor will bless our rings. i plan to have no bridesmaid with only my son as a ring bearer and a flower girl plus my maid of honor and best man.
i'm going to have a photographer to take pictures of the day but no videographer i could have a family member do that plus they are so expensive.
i'm having my reception in a banquet hall and dancing the night away in my wedding dress.
I have a friend who was with her husband for 8 years before she got married in july and it was beautiful. everybody should have the wedding that they want it doesn't matter how long you been married.
2007-11-20 10:36:23 · answer #10 · answered by ynra BTB 4-18-09 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋