How to raise your kids with no belief in Santa without influencing other people's kids?

Question

First off, I'm not pregnant, don't have kids, and I won't for a while. Anyway, back to the point...

I don't want any of my future kids to believe in Santa. I never really did. My parents never said he was real, but never said he wasn't either. I thought the whole thing was stupid when I did find out for myself.

So, I don't even want my kids to start off with that belief, I think it's unnecessary.
My question then is this: How would I keep my kids from telling other people's kids that Santa isn't real? I know some kids get really traumatized when they find out, and I know a lot of parents want their kids to believe.
I don't want to offend anyone or have other people's kids come home crying because my child said there was no such thing.

It's a delicate subject I think, and I want to know the best way to go about it.

Answer 1

You cant protect every ones feelings. You foster a believe that every family has its own believe system and that is okay. You teach your child never to ridicule others for something they believe in.

Answer 2

children can form opinions just like adults can and even though their opinions may not make a whole lot of sense its still their opinion. Let them form their own beliefs, you don't have to come right out and say santa isn't real, kids learn about santa in school and if one day they happen to hear someone saying that santa isn't real and they ask you about it then you can acknowledge it but until then you should let them be kids.
Believing in santa whether he is real or not is a good way for kids to use their wild imaginations. My 4yr old today told me that santa's reindeer were going to knock on the door instead of coming down the chimney so that santa wouldn't make a big mess,lol I thought it was very cute and it showed how active my sons imagination really was.
If your kids are very young when they find out about santa and you agree with them that santa isn't real just tell your kids not to tell everyone else, and hey just because its 2007 doesn't mean that 200 or 300 yrs ago there never ever was a santa, the belief in santa came from somewhere.

Answer 3

My fiancee and I have discussed this before. He doesn't want to tell our kids about Santa. I love the whole Christmas aspect, including Santa. The whole season, while it brings out the worst in some people, brings out the best in most, and every aspect is a small part of that. I offered a concession:

I would want to tell our child that "Christmas is more than a day, it's a season of love and giving, represented by different familes by Jesus and Santa. There are stories behind both, and here's what they are... "

Then, after explaining both, also explaining how Santa is a very special symbol of Christmas and a fun thing to play along with, and knowing this much about him early on in life is a special gift of knowledge. I would then explain how important it is to not go around telling their friends, who may still believe in the reality of Santa, that he doesn't exist, because that wouldn't be very nice. Let them find out in their own time.

Both my fiancee and I were brought up in homes where free thinking was encouraged, and I think that would be the best thing to go with for our children. I know it wouldn't work with every home, but I feel it would with ours.

Answer 4

This is such a great question! Thanks for considering other children who do believe in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, many people do not. I'm raising my son to believe in Santa Claus. As a child I never felt traumatized to learn that he wasn't real. He WAS real. My parents have never told me he's not or told me he is. If I were you I'd tell my kids about the real Saint Nicholas. Explain Christmas tradition to them. Get a book that shows the historical meaning of Santa Claus and why some people still follow the tradition. Educate them on how other people celebrate Christmas--not only Santa but all traditions. They will learn to respect other people while understanding Santa is not 'real' in this day and age. My son is still young yet [almost two] but I plan on showing him these things as well as getting a few limited gifts from 'Santa.' Best of Luck!

Answer 5

My siblings and I were raised the same way. We were just told "mommy & daddy buy the presents and Santa is a fun Christmas story". Honestly, we were just told not to tell other kids about Santa not being real. If I remember correctly my mom told us that some kids believe in Santa and it's not nice to tell them any different, to do so would be mean. I don't think any of us ever did, at least I didn't.

Answer 6

Wow, sad.
Santa was a very real being -- St. Nicholas. :) There is nothing wrong with telling the children who St. Nicholas was and having them have the childhood innocence when it comes to the magic of Christmas.

There are no kids who are traumatized, LOL. Nobody has needed psychotherapy.

That being said, obviously you want the kids to also know what the true meaning of Christmas is -- the celebration of Christ's birth. Naturally that is what Christmas is all about.

My kids, 8 and 5, believe in Santa, as well as know that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ.

Answer 7

If you're going to teach your child something that could potentially cause problems for other kids, then you have to teach them the tact and responsibility to use their knowledge kindly,alongside. You could tell them that other people believe this, so it isn't kind to tell other people that what they believe is wrong. Just as you would teach your child not to tell muslim kids that allah is non-existant if you're an atheist and you know your child will meet muslim kids.
They have to learn to be tactful and not smash down someones elses belief just because they think it's wrong. However, I think most decent schools would be happy to take this on board if you explained it to them.
When my child was 2 I followed the jehovah's witness religion, and I taught her that st.Nicholas died along time ago, but that people like to keep his memory alive by telling stories about santa.I taught her that some children believe santa is real and she must respect that.She didn't know what respect was,but she understood that she shouldn't argue about santa with other kids.

Answer 8

As early as age 3 kids know who Santa Claus is, whether it be from their parents, friends, preschool teacher, etc... If you tell your child he isn't real they will most likely tell others. You can tell your children to not tell others, but at a young age you never know what will happen. Most likely your children's peers would just say "He is too real" and not believe your child anyways, so I'm sure it'll all work out.

Answer 9

Maybe it's my love of Christmas, maybe it's how I was raised, maybe it's because I love a good story but really, I think this is so petty...and mean to a child.

I understand you have beliefs about Santa but WHY would you want your future children to be forced into those beliefs so young? I want my future children to grow, have fun, indulge in a common childhood fantasy, and simply experience the magic of Santa and Christmas. It just seems so selfish to take away a fictional character from a child simply because YOU think it's stupid.

You're right, it is a delicate subject...and it's also quite an unnecessary thing to take away from a child. Children live in fantasy land and Santa is one of them. Take that away and you're taking away the fun of the holidays.

Answer 10

You just say that different people have different beliefs and that your family doesn't believe in Santa. That way you never say he doesn't exist, so your kids won't be running around telling other people that. Just say that some believe and some don't.

Answer 11

Chances are the subject of Santa is going to come up sometime in your future child's life. One kids going to say he believes in it and yours is going to say he doesn't. I was told by a child of another religion in the 2nd grade that Santa wasn't real. Was I upset? Yeah, but I got over it. You can't protect everyones feelings because you have different beliefs or opinions.
I'd simply teach your child that everyone has different opinions, beliefs etc and though you may not agree with someone's belief, it's important to respect it.
With my own kids, I didn't teach them about the tooth fairy because I'm not a big believer when it comes to it. My older two sons have been taught that other kids believe in the tooth fairy to respect the fact that they do, even though they themselves do not.
Best Wishes =]