I'm a teen mom-to-be,I feel like I am discriminated against.?

Question

I am 17&my baby is due in April w/ my husband that I married in July of this year.
We went to a baby store to look@cribs&an older woman asked us if we needed anything,when we told her that we were looking for cribs she asked who we were buying for.We told her that it was for our baby,that was due in April.She then asked how old we were,I told her that I'm 17 & that he is 19.She shook her head&then said that she would be right back.When she came back she said that she needed to help another customer.So we started looking at stuff by ourselves.I sat down in one of the rocking chairs because my back was killing me.There were NO signs saying to not sit on them.When the lady noticed me sitting in the rocker,she came over&instead of just asking me to get up,she said that we needed to leave the store because no one was allowed to sit on furniture.As she showed us to the door,she said,"Next time bring your parents,we don't allow CHILDREN in our store unattended."
What should I have done?

Answer 1

Call the store manager and complain.

Answer 2

Yeah that's pretty rude.

The best thing to do would be to call the manager (or better yet call and ask when the manager will be working and go see them in person or call the corporate office), politely explain what happened and then tell him/her that you will be purchasing your baby necessities from another store and you will be letting your friends and family know about this terrible experience.

That will be the most effective thing. Losing money is what business people understand best. If they know they lost a sale (especially on a high-ticket item like a crib) and that they're getting bad word of mouth they'll handle the situation.

There's really nothing else to do and anything else would be overkill.

And, yeah, you are going to get some attitude/discrimination for being a young mother. Just hold your head up, keep your temper and prove that you are the better and more mature person.

Answer 3

What a beotch! She had no right to ask you how old you were, or judge you this is 2007, not 1950. It's not like your 12 or something. When she told you, that your needed to leave the store, you should have been like, "well sorry but obviously (looking around) I couldn't have known that because their are no signs" and maybe you wanted to try out the chair before buying it so she just made her company lose money. As for the children comment, you should either go back and issue a complaint to her manager (while she is there) and tell her manager that it deeply offended you and they lost business (they hate that.) You might even get a discount lol.

Answer 4

IMMEDIATELY you should have stomped to the front of the store and asked to speak to the manager on duty. Then complain LOUDLY in front of everybody, about the clerks terrible manners, how mistreated you were, discrimination, etc. Dont leave meekly, stand up and make a big fuss. Dont let old cows like that win.

Yeah so you are 17 and hes 19. Ok probably not the best age to be getting married and having a baby but thats your life, and thats how it is. But YOU are the customer, your purchase pays for her salary. And no customer deserves to be treated that way.

I would go back there, find the lady and ask if she remembers you, refresh her memory even. And then start kicking up that fuss. Can you imagine how many other women she has done that to? Im not usually one to make any fuss but if anyone treated me like that, I would be MAAADDD. And dont be erratic or anything. March up to the manager and say "Excuse me sir, are you the manager of this store? Good. That woman over there has treated me abysmally since the moment I set foot in this store. She is insulting, rude and judgemental. I came in here with my HUSBAND to buy a very expensive crib for my unborn child and she has treated me with nothing but disdain. In fact, she even asked me to leave the store (recount it all). I will NOT be treated like a piece of dirt and I cannot believe that someone that cold is working in a baby store. I want an apology, and I want to be able to conduct my shopping here, in peace and with respect like everybody else". OR you can then pull out credit cards or cash whatever and do a Pretty Woman thing. Say "See all of this? I was going to buy a crib, a mattress, bedding, clothing, a stroller and countless other items but after being treated with SUCH disrepect I am taking my business elsewhere."

Actually I think Julia Roberts said this:
Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you?
Vivian: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me.
Shop assistant: Oh.
Vivian: You people work on commission, right?
Shop assistant: Yeah.
Vivian: Big mistake. Big! Huge! I have to go shopping now.

Then threaten to sue, ask for the address and phone number of the corporate office, and say that you will file a report with the chamber of commerce, etc. By this point the manager will be bowing at your feet and that worker will be seriously reprimanded.

Answer 5

You showed class by leaving. Don't think that you were wrong; this lady was pre-judging you from her own bias, and you hopefully will not give her your business, unless they are giving baby stuff away free (don't cut off your nose to spite your face.). She was totally wrong, and I feel so bad for you. If I were close to you, I'd give you a hug.
Please know that not everyone judges people on everyone else they know. Just because she may know an irresponsible young girl having a baby, doesn't mean she has the right to treat you that way. She needs to get into a business where she can be out of sight of customers, because the customer is ALWAYS right in good stores.
Don't think you have to change, or be different. Be proud of who you are, your husband and your new baby to be. You owe nobody an apology, even if you weren't wed, or responsible. Everyone makes mistakes, and this lady is judging you on your youth. The best revenge: have a good marriage, and a great family life. Hold your head high and don't let anyone shame you. In this case I wouldn't pursue it, but if it happened in a work environment, etc. always stand up for yourself and get a resolution.

Answer 6

Huh? That' lady's got problems. I mean, ur husband's legal, and if ur having a baby, that means ur body is atleast mature enough for the responsibililty. She just sent a potential paying customer away. Probably many, because now u've told YA about it, and if some ppl on here live in ur town and know the store, they won't go to it, and I'm sure others u've told would think twice if they were teens. That lady was outta line I think. Besides, if u wanted to buy the rocker, then how woould u kknow if u wanted it w/o trying it out first? They let u lie down on beds at mattress stores! She didn't like y'all from the beginning since u guys were teen parents.

Answer 7

If your goal is to get her in trouble, then go back to the store and ask to speak with the manager. It may make you feel better, but it probably will not change how she treats people.

Instead, maybe you can focus your energy on not being caught in that situation again. While I personally think 17 is too young for marriage and babies, I don't get to decide that for you, and neither does anyone else.

I find it is helpful to have a planned response to a situation in mind so I am prepared. For instance, when the saleswoman asked your age, you could have simply said "I'm sorry, why do you need to know that?"Hopefully, she would realize it is none of her business. If she continued to ask questions, you should feel free to say "I'm sorry, I am not here to discuss my personal life, I am here to buy a crib. Do I need to see someone else about that?"

Keep this in mind, in case someone else feels the need to point out how young your are. It may make you feel good to give somebody a piece of your mind, but it only makes you look petty, and it is a waste of your energy. You have more important things to devote your energy to.

Answer 8

OMG!....why did you let that b*tch tell you that?

She probably is religious and thinks everyone should wait until there old enought to have babies,

She hace no right to tell you to leave the store just for sitting on a chair, I'm shure your not the first person to do so!

Was this babys r' us or a big store?...if so go back and ask for the manager...people like that should not get away with things like that, her job is to sell, not to give her opinion on life

Tell the manager that you want a apology from the lady because you feelt discriminated. Maybe the will even trow a disscunt on the crib.

If it is a big store...I'm shure they have a 1-800 number..get the ladies name and tell your story

And congrats on the baby, good luck

Answer 9

You should have asked for a manager and explained the situation to him.

Your problem is that you are living in a world where pregnancies are postponed by the majority of the population for financial reasons. (Take me for example: 30 and no kids) But in the past your age was the normal age to begin a family. With changing times come changing perceptions.

In the past, a woman who wasn't married and with child at 19 was considered old and people pointed and made fun of her. Now we're in an age where children are born to parents that are 30+ years old. 17 is considered too young to have a child.

If I were you, I would ignore this situation. People will make problems for you for being different, it's just human nature. If you're black, white people act different around you. If you're a woman, men act different around you. If you're different in any way, people will react to it.

The important thing to remember is that your baby is on the way. Don't stress out over other people's stupidity. Relax, and laugh off these types of incidents. If I could collect and sell stupidity, I'd be a rich man.

Good luck and have a healthy baby. ;P

Answer 10

You should have told her that you are not a child-- you are a customer. Then, you should have asked to speak to the manager. You should have told the manager about how you were discriminated against. If the manager was rude to you as well, you should have called the better business bureau and made it known to the store that you will never shop there again and you will tell everyone you know how awful they are to customers and how they discriminate.

I am sorry that you experienced this. I became a mom at 18 and experienced a lot of discrimination over the years. It was especially hard b/c I looked young for my age. I hope that it gets better for you. Hang in there and remember that you need to start standing up for yourself. You are going to be someone's mother soon. You can't allow people to walk all over you. What kind of example are you setting for your child by allowing that to happen? Best of luck!

Answer 11

Next time someone asks how old you are, tell them that your ages have nothing to do spending money.

Also, if the store that you went in to is corporate, and they have a website, file a complaint.

Oh, and being that your husband is 19 (which is over the age of 18), he is no longer a minor child.

Which store was this? Start bashing on the store left and right and tell everyone that you how how horrible it is. Nothing can do more damage to the store than lack of sales.

I'm sorry for what you went through. Maybe this lady has her own pent up anger over her own under-age daughter getting/being pregnant... you never know what her deal is.